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How To Love Forever

How To Love Forever

Written by: Marco & Heather
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 Explore the endless possibilities of Love, Romance & Sexuality. Hosts Heather & Marco seek relationship wisdom to share wit you. Intimate, fun & outrageous!Copyright 2021 All rights reserved. Hygiene & Healthy Living Relationships Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • TO BREED OR NOT TO BREED: The Pros & Cons Of Having Kids vs. Not Having Kids

    TO BREED OR NOT TO BREED: The Pros & Cons Of Having Kids vs. Not Having Kids
    May 24 2022
    IN THIS EPISODE, we explore the biggest decision you can probably make in your life We dive into parenthood, looking at the landscape of it in culture and in personal life. We see how parenting has evolved from a social obligation to a personal choice. And we lay out a list of reasons you just might want to skip the Parent aspect of a long term relationship And reasons why you would want to embrace it. On today’s episode we are breaking down one of the most important choices you can make in your life, and how it impacts your relationship and the world This important choice is whether to become parents. This might sound ominous, and it is a topic that instantly causes controversy, especially in family circles. Who hasn’t nervously sat through the “when are you having a baby” interrogation, innocently administered by everyone from strangers at the grocery store, to casual friends, to your own anxious parents? So often, there’s this expectation when you are in a deep, committed relationship, that the next logical -and required- step is to start a family of your own. It’s a social script. It isn’t a real requirement in life, and really it never has been. Sure, in the agricultural age or earlier, the more kids you had the better, so the choice became more enforced, and the expectation became codified through law or religion. But we live in a different age. Thanks to science, children have a far greater chance of survival into adulthood; not just in the developed world but throughout most of the developing world too, children have far fewer fatality rates than in ages past. In fact, child mortality rates in the US alone have gone from 46% in 1800 to 0.7% in 2020 https://www.statista.com/statistics/1041693/united-states-all-time-child-mortality-rate/ Higher standards in the world of health, education, and even the relative liberation of women’s roles in much of the world have brought about a Golden Age of baby-making. It used to be your child had a 1 in 5 chance to see adulthood. Nowadays it’s closer to a 1 in 5 chance that they won’t. Just since 1990 alone, the child mortality rate (under 5 years old) has halved, and the childhood survival trend is still growing. https://ourworldindata.org/child-mortality All to say that a New Normal is here: Whereas the past dictated that we personally must procreate or humanity itself could face extinction, there are now enough people in the world, making enough babies, that we can truly see the wonders of parenthood as a personal choice we have the privilege of making, and not as a cultural obligation. But we are just at that turnover point in history where that is becoming true, only in the last couple of generations has the personal idea that you could choose not to become a parent started to take hold, and there’s still plenty of stigma surrounding that choice. Socially speaking, there really is a kind of dividing line between parents and non-parents. Parents normally seem to just assume that you want the same for yourself. And in social spheres, distance can grow quickly between friends who are parents and friends who are childless. This isn’t all due to conscious choices or some prejudice, a lot of it is logistical; lives become very different between the two groups. Priorities change, life-rhythms change… …Budgets change. Before we go further, I want to make clear that this isn’t a talk where we tell you you have to have a baby. We are also not telling you you shouldn’t have a baby. As usual, we strive for more nuance than that. We are exploring the pros & cons of each choice, and illuminating both paths in an attempt to help clarify what each choice entails. We honestly believe that this is a sacrosanct personal opinion, as important to the stability & health of your relationship as it could be for the stability & health of world. Either is a path not to take lightly, and it isn’t for us to judge which is right for you. If you feel you’re at some sort of crossroads and have to weigh the options, we hope our little chat can help with that. Getting started: THE PROS & CONS OF PARENTING: * Forget traveling! * I don’t mean the easy vacation, although that becomes harder too. * Talking about climbing the Himalayas, backpacking the amazon… * The risks are greater, and the cost is multiplied by having to bring kids (or not bring them, also a cost) * Just the logistics also get harder too. The baby seat, the potty breaks, the airplane trips… (train them way early, like 6 months or younger) * Harder to do an adult thing on a trip (like a cocktail in the lobby bar) if you have kids with you. * Caveat: it can be great to show kids the world, but it will be a lot harder and some stuff will be off-limits (lion safari? not kid friendly) * Career takes a backseat * especially women for stupid reasons (maternal expectations etc) * ...
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    57 mins
  • SEXY SPACE HACKS: Tips For Maximizing The Sexual Potential In Your Home

    SEXY SPACE HACKS: Tips For Maximizing The Sexual Potential In Your Home
    May 10 2022
    (NOTE: We have 3 episodes to go before we bring this show to a close. The journey has been very informative and we’ve made many friends along the way. However, our current life has so much activity in it, and demands on our time. It’s not like it was in the middle of the pandemic. We may pick up this podcast series again in the near future, but it really is up to you dear listeners. Let us know in comments or emails if you get enough benefit from this podcast for us to continue serving you.) IN THIS EPISODE, we make it smell good. We make it look good. And we show you how to make your space feel good. So you can feel oh-so-good! We are breaking down one of the most important variables in your love life, your environment and how to make it better. Today’s episode is a complement to our other 2 episodes in this vein, Tips For Spicing Up Your Love Life, and Tips For Having More Sex. This 3rd episode concentrates on the things you can alter in your physical space to make lovemaking more likely, more enjoyable, and more frequent. This might sound kinda silly and not worth bothering with, but trust me- hacking your space can really help you level up your love life. There are some pretty commonly-accepted turn-ons and turn offs in life. And even though people’s preferences vary a lot, it is certainly true that making changes in your home environment, bedroom environment, or wherever you prefer to make nooky will definitely help your chances. So we compiled a list of what works, without getting too in the details, since the details will change from person to person, and sex partner to sex partner We strove to reduce these tips down to general elements to ponder on, so you can decide how you best manifest their value in your life. Getting started: * Make it smell good * We mean clean of course, but also try different scents you & your lover both enjoy candles, incenses, sprays, oil lamps, aromatic dispensers are available * 1999 paper by Alan Hirsch and Jason Gruss published in the Journal of Neurological and Orthopaedic Medicine and Surgery suggests sex and smell have a long association:“Historically, certain smells have been considered aphrodisiacs, a subject of much folklore and pseudoscience. In the volcanic remnants of Pompeii, perfume jars were preserved in the chambers designed for sexual relations. Ancient Egyptians bathed with essential oils in preparation for assignations; Sumarians seduced their women with perfumes. A relationship between smell and sexual attraction is emphasized in traditional Chinese rituals, and virtually all cultures have used perfume in their marriage rites. In mythology, rose petals symbolized scent, and the word ‘deflowering’ describes the initial act of sex. * ….“The prominent connection between odors and sex among diverse historical periods and cultures implies a high level of evolutionary importance. Freud suggested that odors are such strong inducers of sexual feelings that repression of smell sensations is necessary to civilization.” * Studies have shown that the scent of lavender directly increases alpha waves, which acts to reduce anxiety, therefore easing the capacity for amorous and erotic interactions * There’s also a ton of material about the relationship of personal scent (perfumes colognes) and how they’re designed for sexual arousal. Check out this essay https://www.girvin.com/sexual-flavors-designing-sexuality-in-scent/ * Play sexy music * https://www.aimm.edu/blog/how-does-music-affect-your-mood * According to this blog we came across on the Atlanta Institute of Music and Media, “It was discovered that music can release dopamine in two main places in the brain, the dorsal and ventral striatum. When you are having a pleasurable experience, such as listening to your favorite song, these areas of the brain light up.” * Turns out that the rhythm of the song you're listening to can even influence your heart rate, so when people sing together, dance together, or make love with each, their breathing can become synchronized, which can obviously help stimulate positive emotions. * Choose a playlist that both (or all) of you enjoy that also encourages sensual movement of your bodies. Whatever that means for you. We enjoy deep house, sultry blues, classic jazz, or artists like Alt-J, Leonard Cohen, or even Thomas Dolby. * Control the lighting * https://blog.specshoward.edu/blog/how-lighting-affects-mood * https://www.tcpi.com/psychological-impact-light-color/ * As any photographer or videographer will tell you, it is ALL about the lighting. It can make a princess look like a troll, or toad look like a super sexy lizard. So, take a look at your space, is it welcoming? Or does it feel more business like? * If it feels like you’re at the dentist’s office about to endure an hour of invasive brain grinding pain, you need to...
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    27 mins
  • WOUNDED WARRIORS: BECOMING LOVERS - Interview With Veteran and Relationship Counselor Mark Cunningham

    WOUNDED WARRIORS: BECOMING LOVERS - Interview With Veteran and Relationship Counselor Mark Cunningham
    May 3 2022

    IN THIS EPISODE, we share our conversation with war veteran now therapist, Mark Cunningham.

    Mark sheds some light on what it is like having witnessed battle and what he learned from it that now informs some of his work with patients as he develops his couples counseling practice.

    He explains what a soul wound is.

    And he reveals what his secret wish would be if he happened across a magical genie in a bottle, and you might be terribly surprised to find out what it is!

    We were honored to interview Mark Cunningham, a couples counselor & sex therapist with specialization in healing trauma, helping other veterans through it, and guiding individuals and couples through the often difficult task of piecing together their lives after painful events occurred.

    The interview proved to be a rare look into a therapist’s own process within their practice, less shop-talk and more personal insight.

    As such, it became less a conversation about relationship techniques, and more of a glimpse into what happens in the mind of the counselor or therapist themselves.

    We also touched upon Mark’s history of military service, and in what ways his personal story impacts his work, both in relationship counseling and personal counseling for vets dealing with trauma.

    He shares some techniques he learned along the way, such as contact statements and emotional focusing, which help his clients get in touch with the store of emotions trapped within their physical bodies.

    He describes his upbringing, and how it affected his vision of sexuality & love. And he even shares what happened when his mom discovered his porn stash. And he discloses how that search for his sexual/romantic identity led him though some questionable avenues before finding the right path for himself.
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    1 hr
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