How do you stop comparing yourself to others—and what might comparison be helping you receive or avoid?

In Day 10, “The Stronghold of Comparison,” we explore Peter’s “What about him?” moment, my temptation to stop building Unstuck Patterns until I finish graduate school, and why someone else’s established season is not evidence that you are behind.

Behavior analysis teaches us to look beyond what a behavior looks like and ask what purpose—or function—it may be serving. In this episode, we introduce the four common functions of behavior:

• Attention or connection

• Escape or avoidance

• Access

• Automatic reinforcement

Today’s featured function is attention or connection.

We often hear the phrase “attention-seeking” and immediately view it negatively. But sometimes the behavior we see on the surface may be communicating a deeper need:

“Please see me.”

“Please stay close to me.”

“I need to know that I can still reach you.”

Through Disney’s live-action Moana and a tender lesson from my five-year-old daughter, Briar, we explore what it means to look beneath an outward reaction and become curious about the need it may be communicating.

Briar has learned to express her need for connection by saying:

“Mommy, I need some love.”

There is no shame in needing connection. The goal is to recognize the pattern and learn to express that need more directly.

Today’s behavior tool is The Function Check:

• What happened immediately before the comparison?

• What did you do?

• What happened immediately afterward?

• What did the pattern help you get—or help you avoid?

📖 Anchor Scripture: Galatians 6:4

👤 Biblical Mentor: Peter

🧭 Behavior Tool: The Function Check

🔎 Featured Function: Attention or Connection

🎵 Companion Song: “Fix My Eyes” by for KING & COUNTRY

You can find the companion song and the other songs recommended throughout this journey on Spotify by searching for the Unstuck Patterns: Turn North Playlist.

Someone else’s established season is not evidence that you are behind. This may not be your season of being widely seen—it may be your season of being deeply prepared.

Explore Unstuck Patterns:

https://unstuck-patterns.stephanie-cox1.chatgpt.site

I am a graduate student sharing what I am learning about behavior analysis and how I apply these concepts to everyday patterns. This content is educational and faith-based and is not individualized behavioral or mental-health treatment.

You are not stuck. You are becoming. Keep turning north. 💛🧭

#StopComparing #ChristianEncouragement #UnstuckPatterns