Today, I sit down with my husband, Eric, to discuss our history of how we’ve divided household and family-related tasks. Spoiler alert: we didn’t start out so well.

If you don’t already know, Eric tends to be a viral sensation on my Instagram page, doing the most ridiculous things in Reels. So, expect to be entertained. Also, he is sassy.

Do we remember the past the same? In terms of how we have come to the systems we have in place now? Not at all. And there are a couple of cringey moments when we disagree. You decide whose memory regarding this stuff is more accurate ;-)

Even still, I hope this episode gets you thinking about this topic differently and helps strike a lighter conversation about this strangely tough-to-talk-about subject: dividing household and family-related tasks.

OH! We also reference a previous episode of the podcast with Dr. Caitlyn Collins, Motherhood Sociologist and Researcher; be sure to check that out.

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Over many years of leading couples out of the sticky situation that is figuring out how to distribute household and family-related tasks fairly, I’ve come to realize that there’s so much that’s INVISIBLE that gets in our way and is SETTING MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES UP TO FAIL.

I’ve enlisted the help of a Motherhood Sociologist, Dr. Caitlyn Collins, to help me make visible one of the most insidious hurdles. I guarantee your mind will be blown.

Show Links:

- Caitlyn’s Book: How to Make Motherhood Work: How Women Manage Careers and Caregiving

- Caitlyn’s Website

- Online Workshops with Mika

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“People with ADHD Self-Medicate with Conflict and Drama.” This is the sentence, the title of an online article, that led to one of our kid’s ADHD diagnosis… not being disruptive in the classroom, not underperforming at school, and not complaints from teachers.

My training did not prepare me for the myriad of ways ADHD can impact relationships. I left my master’s and Ph.D. programs with minimal knowledge of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and thought of it mostly as a disorder that impacts productivity and looks like disruptive boys in a classroom. It’s so much more than that.

Since that diagnosis, I’ve learned a lot about the ADHD brain. Professionally, through this new lens, I’ve watched ADHD-related relationship issues play out in my office with couples over and over again, and while the list of things I listen for is long and often overlaps with neurotypical relationship issues, I can often hear a constellation of things like sensitivity to sound, being quick to anger, feeling like the person is rigid or struggles with flexibility, all-or-nothing thinking…like if they aren’t the best, they’re the worst, they might feel perceived rejection more deeply than most….which might look like being quick to defend, addiction issues, etc. After hearing a few of these in those initial sessions, I ask, “I know this sounds weird, but any ADHD diagnosis between either of you?” and despite this sounding like a weird constellation of struggles…, I am right almost every single time.

That list isn’t exhaustive, but you catch my drift. And, listen, this isn’t doom and gloom. I think when we can name things, we can change things. And I’ve got quite the guest to help us tease this out.

ADHD Coach Brooke Schnittman is an esteemed expert in the field of ADHD management and support. With over two decades of experience, Brooke has worked closely with thousands of individuals with ADHD and is dedicated to empowering them to overcome challenges and achieve their full potential. She’s the author of the book Activate Your ADHD Potential and also her podcast SucessFULL with ADHD (links below).

At her company, Coaching with Brooke, she and her team work to empower individuals with ADHD, help them break through barriers, gain essential tools, and achieve their personal, academic, and professional goals.

Show Links:

- Follow Brooke on IG

- Book: Activate Your ADHD Potential

- Brooke’s Podcast: SucessFULL with ADHD

- Online Workshops with Mika

- Sign up for Mika’s Newsletter

- Connect with Mika on IG

- Disclaimer: www.mikaross.com/disclaimer