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Want What You Want

Want What You Want

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Stop Living in Your "Don't Wants" | How to Clarify What You Actually Desire

When someone asks you what you want out of your life or career, do you struggle to give a clear answer? In Episode 164 of the Mindset Architect Podcast, host Tony Caliendo explores why high achievers routinely end up pursuing goals and managing workloads they never actually wanted in the first place.

Tony breaks down how societal conditioning, early life expectations, and professional obligations numb us to our true desires. He shares his own career story from Marriott, explaining how accepting a high-status promotion into hotel operations temporarily pulled him away from his passion for sales. Learn how to turn daily frustrations into diagnostic tools, distinguish goals from your broader definition of success, and align your daily decisions with what you truly want.

In this episode, you’ll discover:
✅ The "Don't Want" Diagnostic: Flipping your daily complaints and frustrations to identify your true underlying desires.
✅ The Expectation Trap: How being capable at a job can accidentally trap you in a role that exhausts your energy.
✅ Goals vs. Success: Understanding that goals name specific metrics, while success defines why those metrics matter for your life.
✅ The Wrong More Gateway: How a lack of clarity on your genuine wants invites low-value clutter and operational friction.
✅ Boundary Enforcement: Why saying a firm "no" without lengthy justifications protects your time and energy.
✅ The Trade-Off Evaluation: Three questions to ask before saying yes to attractive, unaligned opportunities.

Connect with Tony:
🌐 Order the Book: lessovermore.com
🚀 Join the Group Coaching Program: rethinkcoaching.com/group-program

CHAPTERS
0:00 - Intro: Want What You Want
1:05 - Why High Performers Struggle to State Their Desires
2:35 - Using Frustrations and "Don't Wants" as Diagnostic Tools
4:00 - How Early Expectations Numb Our Authentic Wants
5:15 - The Capability Trap: Being Good at Something You Don't Want
7:50 - How Unclear Wants Invite the "Wrong More" into Your Life
10:30 - Dissecting Wants, Goals, and Your Definition of Success
13:30 - Tony’s Marriott Operations Story: A Classic "Don't Want"
15:20 - Using Clarity to Filter Your Daily Yes and No
18:00 - Evaluating Trade-Offs Before Taking On New Commitments
20:00 - Aligning Behavior with Your True Desires and Setting Boundaries
22:30 - The Single-Decision Action Challenge and Closing Thoughts
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