The Confidence Myth

Most people think confidence is something you either have or don’t.

But that’s not what I see.

I work with incredibly accomplished people (leaders, founders, executives), people whose resumes are intimidating even to me. And still, after they step off a stage I've hired them to speak on, they ask:

"Was that okay?"

I guess you could call it imposter syndrome. I call it Career Dysmorphia.

Career Dysmorphia is when:

-Your success is real.
-Your accomplishments are undeniable.
-Your experience is deep.

And yet...you still can't see yourself clearly. It's like looking into the mirror and seeing an outdated version of yourself. In this Pep Talk I share a story about losing 100 pounds in my 20s. I didn't recognize myself in mirrors after the weight loss. And today, I find it's a powerful metaphor for what many high achievers experience professionally.

The Visibility Trigger

The more you open yourself to a bigger life, a more visible life, the more your confidence can take a hit. Whether you're posting your ideas, writing a book, or stepping onto a stage.

That's when all the confidence you thought you had can disappear.

Misplaced Confidence

One of the most powerful ideas in this episode breaks open a truth that once you see it, you can't unsee it. You already have confidence, but not always in the right things. When you align yourself to your center and activate the voice of soul in your work and life, that's when confidence becomes natural.

The Invitation

This episode of Ideas Love Community is not asking you to become someone new. It's asking you to:

-See yourself clearly.
-Own what you've already done.
-Choose confidence intentionally.

Because there's only one thing standing in your way.

Key Quotes

“You can achieve so much and still not see yourself clearly.”

“All of us have this… ‘Do you like me? Is this okay?’”

“The only thing standing between you and what you want is confidence.”

“I was confident in lack.”

“You get to choose where your confidence is.”

“When you tap the voice of your soul… confidence is easy.”

Ready to be HUGE?

I coach extraordinary voices.

I can help you find your mission and message, build your thought-leadership platform, and launch your voice into the world.

I earned the nickname "speaker whisperer" as a conference designer so I created a whole new event to help you get in front of the trail angels who can open doors to bigger stages and broader impact at the Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest. The Gathering includes information and inspiration on public speaking and getting seen and a pitch fest...(think Shark Tank!) Come for the learning or raise your hand to pitch the head of all TED conferences, literary and speaker agents, entertainment execs, and more.

Follow me on LinkedIn.

Sign up for my newsletter.

Apply for coaching.

Get on the waitlist for the next Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest.

Sabra Meretab describes herself as someone who has always worked hard, often too hard. “I work hard in a way that makes my body scream in protest. It’s a double-edged sword I keep enthusiastically sharpening,” she says.

Her story will feel familiar to anyone who’s experienced the dark side of high-achievement, ambition, and success.

The Question That Changed Everything

During a particularly difficult time, she asked herself a simple but life-changing question: “Have I ever made a decision for myself in my entire life?”

That question led her to step away from her job, take time off, and start writing.

In this episode, Sabra describes what it feels like to realize that you’ve been following the path you were “supposed to” follow but not the path that’s right for you.

Writing as a Way Back to Yourself

Sabra didn’t plan to become a writer with a book on the way and a Substack full of her beautiful writing. She first turned to journaling because she was desperate to feel better and she was willing to try anything.

As the words spilled onto the pages of her journals, she quickly craved time with her journal because it helped her understand her life and herself.

If you’re feeling stuck between achievement and meaning, journaling can help you be honest with yourself in ways your mind might avoid.

The Message She Wants You to Take With You

At the end of the episode, Sabra shares the idea she hopes people remember: Optimism is not naive. Optimism is what makes action possible. If you believe things can change, you start making different choices. And those small choices can change everything.

Key Quotes

“Have I ever made a decision for myself in my entire life?”

“I work hard in the way that makes my body scream in protest.”

“The world is filled with so many non-skipping things.”

“I started writing because I was desperate to feel better.”

“If you don’t believe things can be better, you won’t act.”

About Sabra Meretab

Sabra Meretab has spent her career building payments products and leading engineering teams in Fintech. When she's not debugging technical infrastructure, she's debugging her own understanding of the world around her through writing. Sabra writes essays on ambition, burnout, and the achievement complex in her spare time and is currently working on publishing her first book, a memoir. Follow her on Substack: https://snackablegrowth.substack.com/

Ready to be HUGE?

I coach extraordinary voices.

I can help you find your mission and message, build your thought-leadership platform, and launch your voice into the world.

I earned the nickname "speaker whisperer" as a conference designer so I created a whole new event to help you get in front of the trail angels who can open doors to bigger stages and broader impact at the Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest. The Gathering includes information and inspiration on public speaking and getting seen and a pitch fest...(think Shark Tank!) Come for the learning or raise your hand to pitch the head of all TED conferences, literary and speaker agents, entertainment execs, and more.

Follow me on LinkedIn.

Sign up for my newsletter.

Apply for coaching.

Get on the waitlist for the next Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest.

Lately I’ve been ringing the bell a lot.

For a client who posted something brave.
And another who finished a book.
And a third who was asked to speak at a huge conference in her industry.

And I want to ring the bell for you too.

In this episode, I’m talking about why so many talented, thoughtful, accomplished people still hesitate to go after the thing they really want.
Not because they aren’t capable. Because it doesn't even occur to them to go after the biggest version of their goals.

The Big Domino

I recently heard a story from two speakers who decided they weren’t going to climb the ladder one rung at a time.

Instead, they went after the biggest stage in their industry.

It took them 18 months —
but when they knocked down that one domino, everything else started falling into place.

That got me thinking:

What is your big domino?

What is the goal that feels exciting, scary, and a little bit unreasonable?

Why We Shrink Our Dreams

Most people don’t go after big goals because visibility feels risky or impossible. Or we don't consider our biggest dreams a close-up possibility. Instead, we take tiny steps toward our goals. Which can work, of course, over time.

Be Specific About What You Want

I once said I wanted to speak in a stadium, and technically I did, but not in the way I hoped. This taught me something important. If you want a big life, you have to be specific about the vision.

Creativity Turns Off Fear

One of the most powerful ideas in this episode: You can't be anxious and creative at the same time.

When you start brainstorming audacious, playful, and creative ways to reach your dream, your brain shifts out of fear or limited thinking and into big-sky possibility.

So if you have a goal of getting your leadership voice into the world in a bigger way ask yourself: What would be the most creative way to make this happen?

Say It Out Loud

One of the fastest ways to make a dream real: Tell someone.

Tell your community.
Tell your friends.
Say it where people can hear it.

Because once your voice is out in the world, things start moving. You can share your big dream with all of us here. I'll be listening to all of your messages and I might play yours on the air!

Ideas love community.

Dreams do too.

Ready to be HUGE?

I coach extraordinary voices.

I can help you find your mission and message, build your thought-leadership platform, and launch your voice into the world.

I earned the nickname "speaker whisperer" as a conference designer so I created a whole new event to help you get in front of the trail angels who can open doors to bigger stages and broader impact at the Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest. The Gathering includes information and inspiration on public speaking and getting seen and a pitch fest...(think Shark Tank!) Come for the learning or raise your hand to pitch the head of all TED conferences, literary and speaker agents, entertainment execs, and more.

Follow me on LinkedIn.

Sign up for my newsletter.

Apply for coaching.

Get on the waitlist for the next Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest.

How to Be Huge

What does it mean to be huge?

For many of us, especially women, being called huge has never felt like a compliment. It’s a word often associated with shame, judgment, or comparison.

But what if we reclaimed it?

In this solo episode of Ideas Love Community, Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson gives listeners a pep talk to help them claim their voice, step into their courage, and live their leadership. She shares two powerful stories from her life that changed her relationship with her voice and shaped her mission to help leaders step into bigger visibility and broader impact.

She’ll share the most surprising piece of advice she’s ever received about keynote speaking. And how you can put it into practice, whether you want to step on a stage, write your book, or use your voice more effectively at work.

A Moment to Remember

Being huge doesn’t mean being famous. It doesn’t require speaking on massive stages. Being huge simply means showing up as the fullest version of yourself and allowing your voice, your joy, and your leadership to be heard.

Resources Mentioned:

• Gateway Coaching Sprint, a 90-Day Visibility Accelerator
  • Apply to Sprint here: https://gateway-project.com
• Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest
  • Get on the waitlist here: https://gateway-project.com

If this episode stirred something in you, don’t ignore it. Subscribe. Leave a review. Share this with someone who’s been sitting on the sidelines. And if you’re ready to build your thought leadership platform, apply for a Gateway Coaching Sprint. It’s time to find what’s yours to do and do it.

Share Your Story:
What do you feel a longing to do? Get on a huge stage? Do a TED talk? Write a book? Speak in a stadium? Share your vision for how you want to use your voice in a voicemail to me. I’ll be choosing recordings to play on the air in future episodes!
Record your message here: https://www.speakpipe.com/IdeasLoveCommunity

Connect with Jacquelyn Fletcher Johnson:
Executive Coach | Visibility Accelerator | Founder of The Gateway Project
Subscribe, review, and share to help build a community of courageous voices.
https://www.jacquelynfletcherjohnson.com/

Ready to be HUGE?

I coach extraordinary voices.

I can help you find your mission and message, build your thought-leadership platform, and launch your voice into the world.

I earned the nickname "speaker whisperer" as a conference designer so I created a whole new event to help you get in front of the trail angels who can open doors to bigger stages and broader impact at the Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest. The Gathering includes information and inspiration on public speaking and getting seen and a pitch fest...(think Shark Tank!) Come for the learning or raise your hand to pitch the head of all TED conferences, literary and speaker agents, entertainment execs, and more.

Follow me on LinkedIn.

Sign up for my newsletter.

Apply for coaching.

Get on the waitlist for the next Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest.

Show Notes:

What makes an idea powerful enough to change the world?

In this episode of Ideas Love Community I sit down with Monique Ruff-Bell, Chief Program and Strategy Officer at TED and one of the leaders shaping the global platform behind some of the most influential ideas of our time.

Our conversation started the same way many meaningful things do: with a cup of coffee. (Or in Monique’s case…a giant bowl of coffee.)

What unfolded was a deeply honest and hilarious conversation about confidence, leadership, storytelling, and what it really takes to use your voice in the world.

Monique shares the mindset that helped her build an extraordinary career leading global events, shaping TED’s strategy, and curating experiences that bring thousands of people together around ideas worth spreading.

But this conversation isn’t really about titles or careers.

It’s about something much bigger:

The courage to believe you belong in the room.

Because the truth is, everyone is figuring it out.

And once you realize that, everything changes.

In This Episode We Talk About

• Why Monique lives by the 80/20 rule of growth
• How spending time in the right rooms can dissolve imposter syndrome
• What TED curators are really looking for when they evaluate speakers
• Why the idea inside the story matters more than the story itself
• The difference between networking and authentic connection
• Why discomfort is essential for leadership and growth
• How thoughtful event design can create real human connection

A Moment That Stuck With Me

We’re all just people.

Monique shared that one of the fastest ways to overcome imposter syndrome is to spend time in enough rooms where you realize something surprising:

No one has it all figured out.

And if someone else can be there… so can you.

One of My Favorite Takeaways

Monique talks about exercising the muscle of discomfort.

So many people try to avoid feeling uncomfortable.
But growth, leadership, creativity, and courage all live on the other side of that feeling.
If you want to do something meaningful with your voice…
You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

1,000 Cups of Coffee - #1

Monique Ruff-Bell is the Chief Program and Strategy Officer at TED, where she leads strategy, programming, and the organization’s flagship global events.

She oversees TED conferences, TEDx initiatives, partnerships, and marketing, helping shape the platform that has brought thousands of world-changing ideas to millions of people around the globe.

Before TED, Monique held leadership roles across media, publishing, and global event platforms including Money20/20, where she helped build one of the world’s largest fintech events.

She is also a mentor, speaker, and champion for bold ideas and courageous leadership.

If This Episode Resonated

Subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend! And if you want to share your takeaways from this episode with the Ideas Love Community audience, leave me a message with your thoughts and I might play it on the air!

Ready to be HUGE?

I coach extraordinary voices.

I can help you find your mission and message, build your thought-leadership platform, and launch your voice into the world.

I earned the nickname "speaker whisperer" as a conference designer so I created a whole new event to help you get in front of the trail angels who can open doors to bigger stages and broader impact at the Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest. The Gathering includes information and inspiration on public speaking and getting seen and a pitch fest...(think Shark Tank!) Come for the learning or raise your hand to pitch the head of all TED conferences, literary and speaker agents, entertainment execs, and more.

Follow me on LinkedIn.

Sign up for my newsletter.

Apply for coaching.

Get on the waitlist for the next Gateway Gathering & Pitch Fest.