In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Kristen, a single public school teacher from North Carolina, shares her journey into foster care and adoption. After facing fertility challenges and separation, her experience with foster children in her classroom inspired her to become a foster parent. She recounts accepting placement of a five-year-old boy, taking him on a beach trip just days later, and navigating early behavioral challenges. With a strong support system of family, colleagues, and professionals, Kristen witnessed remarkable growth in her son. Early last year, she finalized his adoption, calling it the greatest joy of her life.

On experiencing "firsts" as a foster parent: “I still think that there's a lot of other firsts that they can experience with older children. Maybe they don't get those early experiences losing their first tooth or, you know, walking or things like that. But definitely with older children, there's the first day of this grade level or trying a new sport, getting to do or go places that they've never had the opportunity to do or go. Even trying a food for the first time.” —Kristen

What You Will Learn:

• Kristen's journey into foster care and adoption
• Initial plans and challenges related to motherhood and fertility treatments
• The impact of her teaching experience on her decision to foster
• The process of accepting her first placement, a five-year-old boy
• Early experiences and adjustments after the placement
• Emotional and behavioral challenges faced by the child and Kristen
• The importance of a support system for foster parents
• Growth and development of the child over two years
• Maintaining connections with the child's birth family
• Misconceptions about fostering and encouragement for potential foster parents

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
00:27 – Meet Kristen
01:29 – Initial Plans and Decision to Foster
02:58 – Getting Licensed and First Placement Call
03:17 – Preparing for a Five-Year-Old and Beach Trip
05:01 – First Days and Building Connection
06:13 – Experiencing Firsts with Older Children
07:23 – First Few Weeks: Highs and Lows
08:26 – Support System and Asking for Help
09:52 – Balancing Single Parenting and Teaching
11:02 – Growth and Development Over Two Years
12:43 – Trauma, Triggers, and Progress
14:15 – Bonding and Parent-Child Relationship
15:26 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections
16:47 – Talking About Birth Family with Her Son
18:03 – Openness and Life Book
19:28 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections
20:42 – Emotional Challenges and Support from Specialists
21:41 – Attachment and Letting Go
23:33 – Misconceptions About Fostering and Adopting
24:21 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents
25:12 – What It Means to Be His Mom
26:08 – Personal Growth and Gains from Fostering
27:34 – Final Advice and Encouragement
29:07 – Episode Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Amanda, a program supervisor at Children's Home Society of North Carolina and experienced foster and adoptive parent, shares her personal and professional journey in foster care. She discusses the growing shortage of foster families, increased needs of children post-COVID-19, and the importance of shared parenting—collaborating with birth families to support children in care. Amanda challenges common misconceptions about foster children, shares inspiring success stories, and encourages those considering fostering to take the step, emphasizing that while challenging, the experience is deeply rewarding and life-changing for everyone involved.

On shared parenting: “Ideally what we want is someone who's open to that (shared parenting), even if the end goal is adoption, because there will always be children who need to be adopted. But what if you'reable to help a number of families before a child that doesn't have other options for permanency comes along, and you've grown your family by that many additional families? What a blessing that is.” —Amanda

What You Will Learn:

• Personal and professional journey in foster care and adoption
• Challenges and rewards of fostering children
• Current needs in the foster care system, particularly post-COVID-19
• Shortage of foster families and barriers to fostering
• Importance of shared parenting and collaboration with birth parents
• Characteristics of effective foster parents
• Emotional challenges of fostering and the impact of saying goodbye
• Success stories of children overcoming trauma in loving homes
• The significance of love and relationships in fostering
• Myths and stereotypes about children in foster care and how to challenge them

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to the Podcast
00:36 – Amanda’s Background & Journey
01:58 – Current Role & Family Experience
02:46 – Pressing Needs in Foster Care
04:32 – Changes in Foster Care Needs Post-COVID
06:45 – What Makes a Good Foster Parent
10:13 – Shared Parenting & Success Stories
14:00 – Maintaining Connections After Reunification
15:41 – Coping with Saying Goodbye
17:43 – Foster Care Statistics & Call-to-Action
18:03 – Transition From Foster Care to Adoption
21:49 – Myths & Stereotypes About Children in Foster Care
25:32 – Success Stories: Overcoming Trauma
29:06 – Best Things About Fostering & Adoption
31:01 – What Amanda Wishes She Knew Before Fostering
33:17 – Greatest Wish for Foster Care System
35:17 – Final Thoughts & Encouragement
35:58 – Personal Reflections on Adopted Children
39:05 – Episode Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, foster parent Mandie shares her family’s journey fostering teenagers. She discusses the challenges and rewards of building trust, supporting teens’ emotional needs, and preparing them for independence. Mandie highlights the importance of patience, compassion, and community support, while addressing misconceptions about fostering older children. Through personal stories, she emphasizes that attachment and love are essential, and encourages others to consider fostering, reminding listeners that every child deserves a safe, loving home. The episode offers honest insights and practical advice for current and prospective foster families.

“You want to be that safe place for them. You want them to feel that love and security that they really need.” —Mandie

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences and challenges of fostering children, particularly teenagers.
• The journey of a foster family since 2017, including the transition from fostering younger children to teens.
• The importance of building trust and connection with foster teens.
• Common misconceptions about fostering teenagers and addressing fears related to behavioral issues.
• Teaching essential life skills to foster teens in preparation for independence.
• Emotional challenges and breakthroughs in the foster care experience.
• The significance of celebrating milestones and achievements in a foster child's life.
• The impact of limited contact with biological parents on foster children.
• The role of community support and therapy for foster parents.
• Reflections on the transformative nature of fostering and the importance of love and attachment in caregiving.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction
00:27 – Meet Mandie & Family Background
01:59 – Fostering Teens: Why and How
04:19 – Building Rapport with Teens
07:31 – Breakthrough Moments & Emotional Growth
10:33 – Deciding to Foster Older Children
12:38 – Debunking Misconceptions about Fostering Teens
17:34 – Teaching Life Skills & Overcoming Embarrassment
18:59 – Celebrating Progress & Bonding Moments
21:16 – Shared Parenting & Reunification
22:35 – Supporting Emotional Needs & Safe Spaces
25:33 – Learning & Growing as Foster Parents
30:03 – Why Continue Fostering?
33:52 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents
35:20 – The Importance of Support Systems
36:33 – Redefining Motherhood & Final Reflections
38:02 – Episode Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc