In this episode, Ashley shares how her family of seven became nine after a change in North Carolina law allowed larger families to foster. She describes the licensing process, welcoming two young siblings, and the challenges and joys of expanding their family. Ashley discusses building a relationship with the children’s birth mother, the emotional complexities of adoption, and the vital support from organizations and her community. Her story highlights the importance of flexibility, keeping siblings together, and the transformative impact of fostering.

“I’m very normal, very ordinary, but God uses ordinary people to do great things. We need to stop looking at foster parents as superheroes. We’re regular people who just do what it takes in the moment as life comes at us. If you see there is a need and you can fill it, do it. - Ashley

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences of foster families in North Carolina
• The Loving Homes Act and its impact on fostering
• The process of becoming licensed foster parents
• Challenges and adjustments of integrating children into a large family
• Importance of keeping siblings together in foster care
• Emotional complexities of shared parenting with biological families
• Support systems and resources available for foster families
• The significance of individual attention for each child in a large family
• The impact of fostering on family dynamics and relationships
• Encouragement for potential foster parents and addressing misconceptions about fostering

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Introduction and podcast purpose
• 00:59 – Meet Ashley and her family
• 01:54 – Discovering the NC law change
• 04:16 – The Loving Homes Act
• 07:52 – Welcoming their first placement
• 09:49 – Reuniting siblings
• 11:28 – Honeymoon stage and early challenges
• 14:06 – Adjusting to a larger family
• 17:08 – Homeschooling adjustments
• 18:25 – Protecting family & couple time
• 20:27 – Visits, appointments, and casework
• 22:21 – Shared parenting with birth mom
• 24:38 – Adoption finalization
• 25:59 – Loss and emotions in adoption
• 28:27 – Talking with biological children
• 29:08 – Adoption Day emotions
• 31:04 – Birth mom’s sacrifice
• 32:47 – Support systems and community help
• 36:20 – Creating comfort and security
• 37:33 – Building trust and attachment
• 40:25 – Encouragement for foster parents
• 44:37 – The need for more foster homes
• 46:51 – Best parts of fostering and adoption
• 48:21 – Closing and listener invitation

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered, Shannon chats with Tara, a foster parent with 25 years’ experience. Tara shares her journey into fostering, her focus on supporting teenagers, and the importance of building a strong community and collaborating with birth families. She reflects on the challenges, joys, and personal growth that come with fostering, offering encouragement and practical advice for prospective foster parents. The episode highlights the lasting impact of providing stability, love, and support for youth in foster care, especially those often overlooked.

“If I have an empty room in my house and there’s a child sleeping on an air mattress at social services, that hits me hard.” - Tara

What You Will Learn:

• Personal motivations for fostering and the influence of early life experiences.
• The importance of having a stable, caring adult in a child's life.
• Challenges and misconceptions surrounding fostering teenagers.
• The evolving nature of parenting and the need for adaptability.
• Maintaining relationships with foster children after they leave the home.
• The challenges faced by youth aging out of foster care.
• The significance of community support and shared parenting.
• The role of biological families in the fostering process.
• Celebrating small victories and individual growth in foster children.
• Encouragement for prospective foster parents to take the leap and the urgent need for foster homes.

Timestamps:

• Intro & Podcast Purpose (0:00)
• Meet Tara, Foster Parent (0:27)
• Why Tara Started Fostering (1:03)
• Fostering Teens: Joys & Lessons (2:13)
• Myths About Fostering Teenagers (5:16)
• Parenting with Grace & Flexibility (6:00)
• Staying Connected After Care (7:39)
• Supporting Youth Who Age Out (9:19)
• 25 Years of Fostering: Biggest Lessons (11:02)
• Youth Growth & Success Stories (14:16)
• Foster Care Needs in NC (15:39)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (15:59)
• Building a Support System (18:55)
• Shared Parenting & Birth Families (22:27)
• What Keeps Tara Fostering (24:44)
• Celebrating Milestones (27:29)
• Final Advice & Encouragement (28:21)
• Closing & How to Get Involved (30:22)

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

Foster and adoptive mom Tracey shares the real story behind foster care — love, loss, reunification, and the courage to say “yes” again. She talks about navigating reunification, the realities of transracial adoption, supporting children’s identity, and building relationships with birth families. Tracey’s honesty reveals both the heartbreak and the deep rewards of fostering, offering encouragement to anyone considering foster care or adoption.

"There’s no perfect answer for why we keep fostering. We just have this need to open our home and love in every way we can. It’s worth every tear, every late night, every heartbreak. I’d do it over and over again because we love being parents and showing a child that someone can love them unconditionally, just because." -Tracey

What You Will Learn:

• Tracey’s foster care and adoption journey since 2016.
• Emotional challenges of fostering, including reunification.
• Effects of fostering on family dynamics across races and backgrounds.
• Importance of openness about birth origins and identity.
• Practical aspects of transracial adoption, like hair care and culture.
• Emotional difficulty of goodbyes and maintaining birth-family ties.
• Essential role of support systems and community.
• Strong protective instincts and focus on children’s well-being.
• Rewards of fostering, including children’s growth and transformation.
• Encouragement for future foster/adoptive parents, highlighting love and commitment.

Timestamps:

• Intro (0:00)
• Tracey’s Background (0:27)
• Choosing to Foster (1:06)
• First Placement & Reunification (3:17)
• Coping with Loss (4:40)
• Why Continue Fostering (7:27)
• Impact on Kids & Families (10:24)
• Family Growth (12:08)
• Community Support (15:40)
• CHS Call to Action (18:36)
• Most Rewarding Moments (18:56)
• Adoption Questions (21:17)
• Transracial Adoption (25:34)
• Fears & Challenges (28:13)
• Support Systems (33:36)
• Final Encouragement (36:41)
• Closing & Resources (38:59)

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc