In this episode, Ashley shares how her family of seven became nine after a change in North Carolina law allowed larger families to foster. She describes the licensing process, welcoming two young siblings, and the challenges and joys of expanding their family. Ashley discusses building a relationship with the children’s birth mother, the emotional complexities of adoption, and the vital support from organizations and her community. Her story highlights the importance of flexibility, keeping siblings together, and the transformative impact of fostering.

“I’m very normal, very ordinary, but God uses ordinary people to do great things. We need to stop looking at foster parents as superheroes. We’re regular people who just do what it takes in the moment as life comes at us. If you see there is a need and you can fill it, do it. - Ashley

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences of foster families in North Carolina
• The Loving Homes Act and its impact on fostering
• The process of becoming licensed foster parents
• Challenges and adjustments of integrating children into a large family
• Importance of keeping siblings together in foster care
• Emotional complexities of shared parenting with biological families
• Support systems and resources available for foster families
• The significance of individual attention for each child in a large family
• The impact of fostering on family dynamics and relationships
• Encouragement for potential foster parents and addressing misconceptions about fostering

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Introduction and podcast purpose
• 00:59 – Meet Ashley and her family
• 01:54 – Discovering the NC law change
• 04:16 – The Loving Homes Act
• 07:52 – Welcoming their first placement
• 09:49 – Reuniting siblings
• 11:28 – Honeymoon stage and early challenges
• 14:06 – Adjusting to a larger family
• 17:08 – Homeschooling adjustments
• 18:25 – Protecting family & couple time
• 20:27 – Visits, appointments, and casework
• 22:21 – Shared parenting with birth mom
• 24:38 – Adoption finalization
• 25:59 – Loss and emotions in adoption
• 28:27 – Talking with biological children
• 29:08 – Adoption Day emotions
• 31:04 – Birth mom’s sacrifice
• 32:47 – Support systems and community help
• 36:20 – Creating comfort and security
• 37:33 – Building trust and attachment
• 40:25 – Encouragement for foster parents
• 44:37 – The need for more foster homes
• 46:51 – Best parts of fostering and adoption
• 48:21 – Closing and listener invitation

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered, Shannon chats with Tara, a foster parent with 25 years’ experience. Tara shares her journey into fostering, her focus on supporting teenagers, and the importance of building a strong community and collaborating with birth families. She reflects on the challenges, joys, and personal growth that come with fostering, offering encouragement and practical advice for prospective foster parents. The episode highlights the lasting impact of providing stability, love, and support for youth in foster care, especially those often overlooked.

“If I have an empty room in my house and there’s a child sleeping on an air mattress at social services, that hits me hard.” - Tara

What You Will Learn:

• Personal motivations for fostering and the influence of early life experiences.
• The importance of having a stable, caring adult in a child's life.
• Challenges and misconceptions surrounding fostering teenagers.
• The evolving nature of parenting and the need for adaptability.
• Maintaining relationships with foster children after they leave the home.
• The challenges faced by youth aging out of foster care.
• The significance of community support and shared parenting.
• The role of biological families in the fostering process.
• Celebrating small victories and individual growth in foster children.
• Encouragement for prospective foster parents to take the leap and the urgent need for foster homes.

Timestamps:

• Intro & Podcast Purpose (0:00)
• Meet Tara, Foster Parent (0:27)
• Why Tara Started Fostering (1:03)
• Fostering Teens: Joys & Lessons (2:13)
• Myths About Fostering Teenagers (5:16)
• Parenting with Grace & Flexibility (6:00)
• Staying Connected After Care (7:39)
• Supporting Youth Who Age Out (9:19)
• 25 Years of Fostering: Biggest Lessons (11:02)
• Youth Growth & Success Stories (14:16)
• Foster Care Needs in NC (15:39)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (15:59)
• Building a Support System (18:55)
• Shared Parenting & Birth Families (22:27)
• What Keeps Tara Fostering (24:44)
• Celebrating Milestones (27:29)
• Final Advice & Encouragement (28:21)
• Closing & How to Get Involved (30:22)

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

Foster and adoptive mom Tracey shares the real story behind foster care — love, loss, reunification, and the courage to say “yes” again. She talks about navigating reunification, the realities of transracial adoption, supporting children’s identity, and building relationships with birth families. Tracey’s honesty reveals both the heartbreak and the deep rewards of fostering, offering encouragement to anyone considering foster care or adoption.

"There’s no perfect answer for why we keep fostering. We just have this need to open our home and love in every way we can. It’s worth every tear, every late night, every heartbreak. I’d do it over and over again because we love being parents and showing a child that someone can love them unconditionally, just because." -Tracey

What You Will Learn:

• Tracey’s foster care and adoption journey since 2016.
• Emotional challenges of fostering, including reunification.
• Effects of fostering on family dynamics across races and backgrounds.
• Importance of openness about birth origins and identity.
• Practical aspects of transracial adoption, like hair care and culture.
• Emotional difficulty of goodbyes and maintaining birth-family ties.
• Essential role of support systems and community.
• Strong protective instincts and focus on children’s well-being.
• Rewards of fostering, including children’s growth and transformation.
• Encouragement for future foster/adoptive parents, highlighting love and commitment.

Timestamps:

• Intro (0:00)
• Tracey’s Background (0:27)
• Choosing to Foster (1:06)
• First Placement & Reunification (3:17)
• Coping with Loss (4:40)
• Why Continue Fostering (7:27)
• Impact on Kids & Families (10:24)
• Family Growth (12:08)
• Community Support (15:40)
• CHS Call to Action (18:36)
• Most Rewarding Moments (18:56)
• Adoption Questions (21:17)
• Transracial Adoption (25:34)
• Fears & Challenges (28:13)
• Support Systems (33:36)
• Final Encouragement (36:41)
• Closing & Resources (38:59)

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of "In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered," leaders from Children’s Home Society of North Carolina discuss the urgent need for foster families, the realities faced by children in foster care, and common misconceptions about fostering.

They highlight the shortage of foster homes, the importance of keeping siblings together and children in their communities, and the support offered to foster parents. The team shares success stories and encourages listeners to consider fostering or supporting children in care, emphasizing that anyone can make a meaningful difference in a child’s life.

“What really gets me is thinking about that child sitting there, listening to DSS call families and hearing families say ‘no, no, no.’ Just thinking of the trauma that continues to inflict on them is really sad.” Jeremy Wagner

What You Will Learn:

• Current state of foster care in North Carolina
• Decrease in the number of licensed foster families post-COVID-19
• Urgent need for foster families to accommodate over 11,000 children in care
• Challenges faced by children entering foster care, including trauma and instability
• Importance of keeping sibling groups together in foster placements
• Need for children to remain in or near their home communities for stability
• Common misconceptions about foster care and birth families
• Qualities needed to be a successful foster parent
• Support and training provided to foster families by organizations
• Success stories and positive impacts of fostering on children’s lives

Timestamps:

00:27 – Introductions
02:29 – State of Foster Care in NC
04:41 – Children Sleeping in DSS Offices
07:12 – Who Are the Children?
08:47 – Sibling Groups & Placement
12:08 – Keeping Kids in Community
13:36 – Why Children Enter Care
15:31 – Misconceptions
18:09 – Youth Resilience
20:26 – Urgent & After-Hours Needs
23:00 – Recruitment & Support
24:56 – Training & Ongoing Support
29:01 – One-on-One Family Education
30:00 – Rewards & Success Stories
34:27 – How to Help
37:18 – Final Thoughts
38:45 – Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered, Theresa shares her personal journey into foster care, inspired by her father’s experience. As a single mom, she discusses the challenges and rewards of fostering, the importance of preparation and support, and how she involves her teenage son in the process. Theresa also highlights the emotional complexities of reunification and the value of community and advocacy, offering encouragement and practical advice for current and prospective foster families.

“In the beginning, it was hard, really hard, and I almost gave up. But I'm glad I took the risk. I jumped in with both feet, and this was the right thing for me. You're never going to be 100% ready, so stop with that; if this is your calling, do it, and be okay with the unexpected. I learned that it was okay to ask for help and to lean on others as a network.” – Theresa

What You Will Learn:

• Personal journey of becoming a licensed foster parent
• Connection to foster care through family history
• Initial experiences and challenges of first placements
• Importance of preparation and adaptability in fostering
• Misconceptions about love being sufficient in foster care
• Role of support, education, and advocacy in fostering
• Involvement of existing family members in the fostering process
• Transition from traditional to therapeutic foster parenting
• Emotional complexities of the reunification process
• Value of support networks and community in foster care

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction

00:00:28 – Meet Teresa

00:05:02 – Early Influences

00:06:45 – First Placement

00:10:12 – Training & Preparation

00:11:59 – Facing the Unknowns

00:13:51 – Family & Support Systems

00:16:56 – CHS Message

00:17:16 – Preparing Biological Children

00:20:01 – Transition to Therapeutic Care

00:22:44 – Coping Through Creativity

00:24:02 – Reunification & Shared Parenting

00:28:02 – Emotional Growth

00:29:10 – Hopes for Her Foster Child

00:32:04 – Teamwork & Resources

00:33:16 – Asking for Help

00:36:13 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents

00:37:09 – Wrap-Up

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Tori, a foster and adoptive parent, shares her powerful story of building a family through foster care and transracial adoption.

A former educator, Tori opens up about her journey to fostering and adopting three children, the emotional ups and downs of parenting through trauma, and her experience as an African American mother raising Caucasian children. She reflects on identity, belonging, and how love and community can bridge cultural differences.

This heartfelt conversation highlights the realities of transracial adoption, the importance of diversity and representation, and the need for more families to open their hearts to fostering in North Carolina.

“Whether you birth them in your womb or birth them from your heart, love makes a family.” - Tori

What You Will Learn:

• Journey into foster care and adoption
• Decision-making process for fostering and adopting
• Background and motivations of the guest as an educator and advocate
• Experiences of fostering and adopting multiple children
• Challenges of transracial adoption in a southern context
• Navigating societal perceptions and assumptions about family dynamics
• Importance of preparing children for societal interactions and questions
• Representation in literature for diverse family structures
• Emphasis on love as the foundation of family and community
• Call to action for supporting vulnerable children and becoming foster parents

For more of Tori's story, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6nd50cQ9Xg&t=79s

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction
(00:27) Meet Tori
(01:28) Journey to Fostering
(03:12) First Days
(06:13) Expanding the Family
(08:01) Early Reflections
(08:46) Navigating Transracial Adoption
(10:30) Transracial Parenting
(11:26) Talking About Race
(12:35) Facing Public Perceptions
(14:40) Addressing Trauma
(17:23) Open Communication
(18:51) Confidence & Representation
(25:29) Family Traditions
(26:42) Parenting Joys
(32:59) Birth Family Connections
(35:29) Belonging & Heritage
(37:09) Hopes for the Future
(39:25) Message to Future Foster Parents
(41:51) Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Mikaila shares her powerful journey of entering foster care at age 12, the trauma of removal, and the life-changing impact of her first foster mom.

Now a Family Recruitment Specialist with Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, Mikaila uses her lived experience to inspire and support foster families across the state. Her story highlights the urgent need for foster parents, the importance of community support, and the lasting difference one safe, loving home can make.

“When you’ve aged out of foster care, you don’t have the privilege to ignore the crisis. It stays with you every day.” -Mikaila.

Whether you’re considering fostering, supporting a foster family, or simply want to understand the child welfare crisis in North Carolina, Mikaila’s story will leave you inspired to act.

What You’ll Learn

• Mikaila’s journey from foster youth to family advocate and kinship care provider.
• The realities children face when entering foster care and the trauma of removal.
• Why North Carolina urgently needs more foster parents and safe, stable homes.
• How supportive foster parents and mentors can change a child’s future.
• The unique role of kinship care in keeping families connected.
• Why fostering is a community effort and how you can help even if you don’t foster.
• The resources and support available for foster families through CHS.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro – Real foster care stories with CHSNC
00:28 Meet Mikaila – Recruiter & lived experience
01:05 Journey – From foster youth to advocate
03:29 Kinship Care – Raising her niece
04:37 Crisis – Need for foster parents in NC
06:38 Placement – Waiting at DSS as a child
07:41 Trauma – Removal and losing her pet
10:19 Empathy – Seeing through a child’s eyes
13:58 Community – Ways to help beyond fostering
15:12 Support – Getting involved in awareness
16:42 CHS – Call to action for foster parents
17:10 Calling – Giving back through experience
18:52 Teens – Addressing fears and myths
19:35 Mama B – The impact of her foster mom
26:40 Belonging – Helping kids feel valued
27:25 Lessons – Influences from many homes
28:22 Parenting – Biological vs. foster care
31:19 Support – Resources for foster families
34:44 Getting Started – Steps to begin fostering
36:10 Service – Foster care as lasting impact
39:21 Closing – How to get involved

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

12-year-old junior golfer Autumn and her adoptive father, Donnie, share their journey from foster care to adoption. Golf became a life-changing outlet for Autumn, helping her build confidence, mental resilience, and a positive outlook. With resilience, hope, and the transformative power of family and sports, they reflect on the challenges and joys of fostering, while offering encouragement to others considering adoption or foster care.

“When I was in foster care, I knew there would be better days; getting adopted was by far the best day in the world. There are kids waiting for a foster home or waiting to get adopted, and people should want to help.” – Autumn

“Don’t let your fear stop you from asking questions about foster care; that’s what led us to having the most amazing daughter in the world. There are kids like Autumn who are amazing and just need love to thrive; they were born to soar. Maybe they’re waiting for you.” – Donnie

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The emotional journey of transitioning from foster care to adoption
• Autumn’s inspiring perspective on adoption and resilience
• How discovering golf transformed her life and confidence
• Life lessons learned from sports, competition, and perseverance
• Practical advice for prospective foster and adoptive parents
• Encouragement for youth currently in foster care
• The importance of advocacy, storytelling, and breaking stigmas in foster care

Timestamps

• 00:00:00 – Introduction and purpose of the podcast
• 00:00:27 – Meet Donnie and Autumn
• 00:00:46 – Autumn’s first day with her adoptive family
• 00:03:12 – Transition from foster care to adoption
• 00:05:04 – Autumn’s perspective on adoption
• 00:06:34 – Autumn’s joyful outlook and early life
• 00:09:24 – Choosing joy despite challenges
• 00:10:27 – Discovering golf & sports
• 00:12:34 – Becoming a top junior golfer
• 00:13:46 – Lessons learned from adoption
• 00:15:05 – Fears and hopes in fostering/adoption
• 00:17:12 – PSA: Foster care in NC
• 00:17:32 – Autumn’s charity golf tournament
• 00:19:33 – Life lessons from golf
• 00:25:11 – Staying positive through adversity
• 00:26:52 – Advice for children in foster care
• 00:28:21 – Advice for prospective foster/adoptive parents
• 00:31:56 – Raising awareness for adoption
• 00:33:02 – Sharing her story publicly
• 00:36:33 – Breaking stigmas and final thoughts
• 00:37:47 – Closing remarks

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc