In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Kristen, a single public school teacher from North Carolina, shares her journey into foster care and adoption. After facing fertility challenges and separation, her experience with foster children in her classroom inspired her to become a foster parent. She recounts accepting placement of a five-year-old boy, taking him on a beach trip just days later, and navigating early behavioral challenges. With a strong support system of family, colleagues, and professionals, Kristen witnessed remarkable growth in her son. Early last year, she finalized his adoption, calling it the greatest joy of her life.

On experiencing "firsts" as a foster parent: “I still think that there's a lot of other firsts that they can experience with older children. Maybe they don't get those early experiences losing their first tooth or, you know, walking or things like that. But definitely with older children, there's the first day of this grade level or trying a new sport, getting to do or go places that they've never had the opportunity to do or go. Even trying a food for the first time.” —Kristen

What You Will Learn:

• Kristen's journey into foster care and adoption
• Initial plans and challenges related to motherhood and fertility treatments
• The impact of her teaching experience on her decision to foster
• The process of accepting her first placement, a five-year-old boy
• Early experiences and adjustments after the placement
• Emotional and behavioral challenges faced by the child and Kristen
• The importance of a support system for foster parents
• Growth and development of the child over two years
• Maintaining connections with the child's birth family
• Misconceptions about fostering and encouragement for potential foster parents

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
00:27 – Meet Kristen
01:29 – Initial Plans and Decision to Foster
02:58 – Getting Licensed and First Placement Call
03:17 – Preparing for a Five-Year-Old and Beach Trip
05:01 – First Days and Building Connection
06:13 – Experiencing Firsts with Older Children
07:23 – First Few Weeks: Highs and Lows
08:26 – Support System and Asking for Help
09:52 – Balancing Single Parenting and Teaching
11:02 – Growth and Development Over Two Years
12:43 – Trauma, Triggers, and Progress
14:15 – Bonding and Parent-Child Relationship
15:26 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections
16:47 – Talking About Birth Family with Her Son
18:03 – Openness and Life Book
19:28 – Maintaining Birth Family Connections
20:42 – Emotional Challenges and Support from Specialists
21:41 – Attachment and Letting Go
23:33 – Misconceptions About Fostering and Adopting
24:21 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents
25:12 – What It Means to Be His Mom
26:08 – Personal Growth and Gains from Fostering
27:34 – Final Advice and Encouragement
29:07 – Episode Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Amanda, a program supervisor at Children's Home Society of North Carolina and experienced foster and adoptive parent, shares her personal and professional journey in foster care. She discusses the growing shortage of foster families, increased needs of children post-COVID-19, and the importance of shared parenting—collaborating with birth families to support children in care. Amanda challenges common misconceptions about foster children, shares inspiring success stories, and encourages those considering fostering to take the step, emphasizing that while challenging, the experience is deeply rewarding and life-changing for everyone involved.

On shared parenting: “Ideally what we want is someone who's open to that (shared parenting), even if the end goal is adoption, because there will always be children who need to be adopted. But what if you'reable to help a number of families before a child that doesn't have other options for permanency comes along, and you've grown your family by that many additional families? What a blessing that is.” —Amanda

What You Will Learn:

• Personal and professional journey in foster care and adoption
• Challenges and rewards of fostering children
• Current needs in the foster care system, particularly post-COVID-19
• Shortage of foster families and barriers to fostering
• Importance of shared parenting and collaboration with birth parents
• Characteristics of effective foster parents
• Emotional challenges of fostering and the impact of saying goodbye
• Success stories of children overcoming trauma in loving homes
• The significance of love and relationships in fostering
• Myths and stereotypes about children in foster care and how to challenge them

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to the Podcast
00:36 – Amanda’s Background & Journey
01:58 – Current Role & Family Experience
02:46 – Pressing Needs in Foster Care
04:32 – Changes in Foster Care Needs Post-COVID
06:45 – What Makes a Good Foster Parent
10:13 – Shared Parenting & Success Stories
14:00 – Maintaining Connections After Reunification
15:41 – Coping with Saying Goodbye
17:43 – Foster Care Statistics & Call-to-Action
18:03 – Transition From Foster Care to Adoption
21:49 – Myths & Stereotypes About Children in Foster Care
25:32 – Success Stories: Overcoming Trauma
29:06 – Best Things About Fostering & Adoption
31:01 – What Amanda Wishes She Knew Before Fostering
33:17 – Greatest Wish for Foster Care System
35:17 – Final Thoughts & Encouragement
35:58 – Personal Reflections on Adopted Children
39:05 – Episode Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, foster parent Mandie shares her family’s journey fostering teenagers. She discusses the challenges and rewards of building trust, supporting teens’ emotional needs, and preparing them for independence. Mandie highlights the importance of patience, compassion, and community support, while addressing misconceptions about fostering older children. Through personal stories, she emphasizes that attachment and love are essential, and encourages others to consider fostering, reminding listeners that every child deserves a safe, loving home. The episode offers honest insights and practical advice for current and prospective foster families.

“You want to be that safe place for them. You want them to feel that love and security that they really need.” —Mandie

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences and challenges of fostering children, particularly teenagers.
• The journey of a foster family since 2017, including the transition from fostering younger children to teens.
• The importance of building trust and connection with foster teens.
• Common misconceptions about fostering teenagers and addressing fears related to behavioral issues.
• Teaching essential life skills to foster teens in preparation for independence.
• Emotional challenges and breakthroughs in the foster care experience.
• The significance of celebrating milestones and achievements in a foster child's life.
• The impact of limited contact with biological parents on foster children.
• The role of community support and therapy for foster parents.
• Reflections on the transformative nature of fostering and the importance of love and attachment in caregiving.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction
00:27 – Meet Mandie & Family Background
01:59 – Fostering Teens: Why and How
04:19 – Building Rapport with Teens
07:31 – Breakthrough Moments & Emotional Growth
10:33 – Deciding to Foster Older Children
12:38 – Debunking Misconceptions about Fostering Teens
17:34 – Teaching Life Skills & Overcoming Embarrassment
18:59 – Celebrating Progress & Bonding Moments
21:16 – Shared Parenting & Reunification
22:35 – Supporting Emotional Needs & Safe Spaces
25:33 – Learning & Growing as Foster Parents
30:03 – Why Continue Fostering?
33:52 – Advice for Prospective Foster Parents
35:20 – The Importance of Support Systems
36:33 – Redefining Motherhood & Final Reflections
38:02 – Episode Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, siblings Mikaila and Mat share their personal journey through the foster care system. Mikaila recounts her experiences with kinship care, abuse, and resilience, while Mat offers insight as her older brother and military serviceman. Together, they discuss the challenges of sibling separation, generational trauma, and the importance of supportive relationships. The conversation highlights the power of self-love, breaking cycles, and community support, while challenging stereotypes about foster youth. The hosts close with a call to action for fostering in North Carolina.

“I want to be a dad just so I can prove that I can be a better dad than I had, so that I can prove to myself that I guess I'm not broken. And where I came from doesn't really define where I have to go.” – Mat

What You Will Learn:

• Personal stories and experiences of siblings in the foster care system.
• The impact of family dynamics and parental absence on children in foster care.
• Challenges faced by foster youth, including abuse, neglect, and instability.
• The role of kinship care and its potential downsides.
• The importance of sibling relationships and maintaining connections in foster care.
• Resilience and personal growth stemming from difficult childhood experiences.
• The significance of supportive relationships and mentorship in overcoming trauma.
• Misconceptions about foster children and the need for understanding their backgrounds.
• The role of community and support networks in aiding foster families.
• Encouragement for listeners to consider becoming foster parents and supporting foster youth.

Timestamps:

• Podcast Introduction (00:00:00)
• Guest Introductions (00:00:27)
• Mat’s Military Enlistment and Family Background (00:01:28)
• Family Breakdown and Mat’s Absence (00:04:16)
• Mikaila’s Experience in Kinship Care (00:06:40)
• Sibling Bond and Separation Trauma (00:10:04)
• Mat’s Caretaking Role and Family Dynamics (00:12:38)
• Communication Barriers and Mat’s Efforts to Reconnect (00:14:58)
• Reconnecting After Foster Care Placement (00:18:10)
• Mikaila’s Decision to Stay in Foster Care (00:19:43)
• Resilience and Its Origins (00:23:01)
• Lessons Learned and Advice (00:28:32)
• Reflections on Foster Care Stereotypes (00:32:49)
• Breaking Generational Cycles (00:36:35)
• Encouragement for Foster Parents and Closing Thoughts (00:39:39)
• Podcast Outro and Call to Action (00:41:27)

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, guest Kate, a former juvenile court attorney, shares her journey as a foster and adoptive mother of six. She discusses the challenges and rewards of transracial adoption, the importance of openness and communication, and the realities of parenting children with trauma. Kate also highlights the value of support networks and introduces her children’s books designed to help foster kids understand their experiences. Her candid insights offer guidance and encouragement to current and prospective foster families.

“We feel very strongly that if you're going to adopt transracial, you need to make sure you live in a diverse community. That your religious home is diverse, that your friends are diverse.” — Kate

What You Will Learn:

• Personal and professional journey into foster care and adoption
• Family dynamics involving biological, adopted, and foster children
• Experiences with transracial adoption and its challenges
• Importance of openness in adoption and maintaining connections with birth families
• Navigating identity and relationships within a transracial family
• The impact of trauma on children and parenting strategies
• The significance of sibling relationships and support in blended families
• Resources created to assist children in foster care with understanding their experiences
• Emotional complexities of fostering, including the bittersweet nature of reunification
• The necessity of community and support systems for foster parents

Timestamps:

• Podcast Introduction (00:00:00)
• Meet Kate: Professional Background & Family Overview (00:00:27)
• Adoption and Early Parenting Experiences (00:01:20)
• Transition to Fostering (00:02:22)
• Parenting as an Older Parent: Pros and Cons (00:03:36)
• Surprises in Parenting, Adoption, and Bonding (00:05:22)
• Sibling Dynamics and Family Evolution (00:07:35)
• Transracial Adoption: Family Makeup & Community (00:10:01)
• Parenting Transracially: Community, Racism, and Support (00:11:02)
• Handling Public Comments and Teaching Kids to Respond (00:16:14)
• Children’s Perspectives on Adoption and Openness (00:20:01)
• Open Adoption and Maintaining Birth Family Relationships (00:22:04)
• Navigating Emotions in Open Adoption (00:23:24)
• Family Communication and Openness (00:26:05)
• Fostering Sibling Bonds and Family Unity (00:27:21)
• Managing Trauma and Parenting Foster Children (00:30:46)
• Apologizing and Repair in Parenting (00:34:04)
• Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids (00:36:15)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (00:40:27)
• Episode Wrap-Up and Resources (00:42:27)

Learn more about Kate’s Children’s Books for Foster and Adopted Kids through her website.

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of "In Real Life Foster Care Unfiltered," Lauren and Joe, high school sweethearts from Connecticut, share their four-year journey as foster and adoptive parents. They discuss their motivations, the challenges of navigating agency support, relationships with biological families, and the impact on their own daughter. The couple highlights the importance of community, advocacy, and self-care, offering candid insights into the realities of fostering. Their story emphasizes the rewards of providing stability and love to children in need, and offers practical advice for those considering foster care or adoption.

“We have so much love to give. Why not give it to the others that need it?” —Joe

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences and challenges of foster care and adoption
• Motivations for fostering and the desire to help children in need
• Importance of choosing the right agency and support systems
• Navigating relationships with biological families and shared parenting dynamics
• The transition from respite care to long-term placements
• Managing the emotional and behavioral needs of foster children
• The significance of consistency, structure, and boundaries in foster parenting
• The impact of fostering on biological children and family dynamics
• Advocacy for foster children's needs in educational and medical settings
• The importance of self-care and community support for foster parents

Timestamps:

• Introduction to the Podcast (00:00)
• Meet Lauren and Joe: Their Background and Motivation (00:54)
• Starting the Foster Care Journey (02:04)
• First Experiences: Respite Placements and COVID-19 (04:01)
• Transition to Long-Term Placements and Adoption (05:28)
• Learning Curves: Developmental Differences and Trauma (07:02)
• Adjusting to Older Children and Sibling Dynamics (08:35)
• Shared Parenting and Relationships with Biological Families (12:44)
• Patience and Navigating the System (13:42)
• Paperwork and Administrative Challenges (15:59)
• Support Systems: Family, Community, and Agencies (18:26)
• Motivations and Reflections on Helping Children (21:03)
• Agency Support and Community Resources (23:15)
• Shared Parenting: Highs, Lows, and Best Practices (24:14)
• Advocacy and Standing Up for Foster Children (30:17)
• Consistency, Boundaries, and Parenting Approaches (33:05)
• Blended Family and Maintaining Connections (35:11)
• Taking Breaks and Self-Care (36:41)
• Most Rewarding Moments and Reflections (37:29)
• Advice for Prospective Foster Parents (42:45)
• Knowing Your Limits and Setting Expectations (44:02)
• Building Your Village and Navigating Foster Care Terminology (48:07)
• Closing and Final Thoughts (48:44) Final thanks, encouragement, and information for listeners interested in foster care.

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

What does it really mean to raise children who don’t look like you? In this honest episode, host Shannon talks with foster and adoptive parents Ashley, Jeff, and Tori about the realities of transracial foster care and adoption — the joy, challenges, microaggressions, and responsibility of parenting across racial lines.

The families share how race became part of their foster care journey, the growth and advocacy required, and the hard conversations many parents aren’t prepared for. From public scrutiny and intrusive questions to hair care, school bias, safety concerns, and the myth of being “colorblind,” this episode gives voice to what transracial foster and adoptive parents often experience but rarely hear said out loud.

“When we were adopting our son, a social worker asked us, ‘Are you ready to raise this boy as a Black man?’ At the time, my white wife and I thought that was the dumbest question ever. We thought, ‘Why would you say that? Why not just raise him as a man?’ That was the mindset I had been surrounded by my entire life. And I don’t believe that anymore. I don’t believe that was a stupid question.” -Jeff

What You Will Learn:

• Why love alone isn’t enough in transracial foster care and adoption
• What parents wish they had known before saying yes
• How microaggressions show up in everyday life and how kids absorb them
• The emotional weight of advocating for your child in public spaces and school
• Why representation, community, and cultural humility matter
• How to prepare your child for conversations about race and identity
• The difference between good intentions and informed parenting

Timestamps:

00:00 – Transracial foster care overview
00:27 – Guests introduction
01:18 – Transracial family makeup
04:19 – Choosing transracial foster care
14:21 – Preparing for transracial parenting
19:32 – Challenges in transracial foster care
29:26 – Microaggressions & public reactions
34:31 – Microaggressions explained
40:15 – Encouraging community moment
43:33 – Resources for transracial families
53:26 – Advice for foster parents
01:02:38 – Final thoughts on foster care
01:03:10 – Podcast outro

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode, Ashley shares how her family of seven became nine after a change in North Carolina law allowed larger families to foster. She describes the licensing process, welcoming two young siblings, and the challenges and joys of expanding their family. Ashley discusses building a relationship with the children’s birth mother, the emotional complexities of adoption, and the vital support from organizations and her community. Her story highlights the importance of flexibility, keeping siblings together, and the transformative impact of fostering.

“I’m very normal, very ordinary, but God uses ordinary people to do great things. We need to stop looking at foster parents as superheroes. We’re regular people who just do what it takes in the moment as life comes at us. If you see there is a need and you can fill it, do it. - Ashley

What You Will Learn:

• Experiences of foster families in North Carolina
• The Loving Homes Act and its impact on fostering
• The process of becoming licensed foster parents
• Challenges and adjustments of integrating children into a large family
• Importance of keeping siblings together in foster care
• Emotional complexities of shared parenting with biological families
• Support systems and resources available for foster families
• The significance of individual attention for each child in a large family
• The impact of fostering on family dynamics and relationships
• Encouragement for potential foster parents and addressing misconceptions about fostering

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Introduction and podcast purpose
• 00:59 – Meet Ashley and her family
• 01:54 – Discovering the NC law change
• 04:16 – The Loving Homes Act
• 07:52 – Welcoming their first placement
• 09:49 – Reuniting siblings
• 11:28 – Honeymoon stage and early challenges
• 14:06 – Adjusting to a larger family
• 17:08 – Homeschooling adjustments
• 18:25 – Protecting family & couple time
• 20:27 – Visits, appointments, and casework
• 22:21 – Shared parenting with birth mom
• 24:38 – Adoption finalization
• 25:59 – Loss and emotions in adoption
• 28:27 – Talking with biological children
• 29:08 – Adoption Day emotions
• 31:04 – Birth mom’s sacrifice
• 32:47 – Support systems and community help
• 36:20 – Creating comfort and security
• 37:33 – Building trust and attachment
• 40:25 – Encouragement for foster parents
• 44:37 – The need for more foster homes
• 46:51 – Best parts of fostering and adoption
• 48:21 – Closing and listener invitation

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc