What happens when your search for God leads you somewhere you never expected?

In this episode of Spirit Club, Jordan and Kody explore the spiritual role of darkness—not simply as something evil or negative, but as mystery, uncertainty, depth, and the unknown.

Beginning with ideas from the Tao Te Ching, they wrestle with the relationship between light and darkness and whether some of our deepest encounters with the divine may actually require us to enter places we cannot fully understand or control.

Jordan then shares one of the most vulnerable chapters of his spiritual journey: years of seeking a profound encounter with God, experimenting with altered states of consciousness, and eventually having two experiences with psilocybin that profoundly affected him.

What began as a sincere attempt to deepen his spirituality included moments of beauty, euphoria, connection, and insight—but eventually opened into experiences of darkness, paranoia, thoughts of death, and a prolonged period of feeling unlike himself.

The conversation explores psychedelics as potential spiritual tools, the dangers of treating them casually, perfectionism in the spiritual search, ego death, synchronicity, fasting, prayer, meditation, and the importance of community when navigating intense spiritual experiences.

This episode ends in the middle of Jordan’s story. In the next conversation, Jordan and Kody continue exploring what happened after these experiences, how the darkness deepened, and how Jordan has begun making sense of it all.

At the heart of the episode is a question:

What if darkness isn’t always the absence of God—but sometimes one of the places we encounter Him?