Feeling hijacked by anxiety and overthinking every decision—like you're constantly "neck up" in your head, unable to just be? In this episode, Nikki P sits down with therapist and author Joanna Hardis to talk about distress tolerance: the skill of feeling uncomfortable without making situations worse.

Joanna shares her story of going from white-knuckling through life to learning how to be "neck down"—staying in her body instead of spiraling in her thoughts. You'll hear how she moved through divorce, single parenting three kids, and being ghosted right before her birthday (yes, really) by practicing the paradox at the heart of her book Just Do Nothing: you can be safe and uncomfortable at the same time.

This conversation offers emotional regulation tools for when anxiety hijacks you, practical distress tolerance practices (starting with your phone), and honest language for parenting without being controlled by fear or guilt. Joanna explains why most of us armor up to avoid discomfort—through people-pleasing, perfectionism, or overthinking—and how microdosing discomfort can help you respond to situations instead of reacting from emotions.

In this episode, we cover:

- Overthinking vs. neck-down awareness (and why therapy helped Joanna get out of her head)

- How to tell if you're parenting from anxiety or responding to the actual situation

- Distress tolerance 101: what it is and why it matters for emotional regulation

- The phone as a five-pound weight: microdosing discomfort in real life

- Boundaries for parents (and why asking for two minutes isn't selfish)

- How to hold the paradox: safe and uncomfortable, grief and gratitude, love and anger

- Why acknowledging feelings is essential—but fixating on them keeps you stuck

- Self-compassion when you screw it up (because we all do)

If you're navigating parenting, anxiety, or life transitions where your default is to armor up or white-knuckle through, this episode offers a different way forward—one that doesn't require fixing, forcing, or figuring it all out.

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Joanna Hardis on Instagram, visit her website, & buy her book Just Do Nothing or Just Do Nothing For Parents

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

What if the moment that saved you started as a question you were afraid to ask?

Ten years ago, I wrote in a question about love, boundaries, and faith to a podcast called Ask Science Mike… and Rob Bell answered it. I didn’t know it then, but his response helped move me from people-pleasing to self-respect, from either/or thinking to both/and thinking—and it became one of the turning points that changed the direction of my life.

In this solo episode, I’m sharing the full context of what was happening behind the scenes at the time, reading the transcript of my original question and parts of Rob’s response (I don’t have the rights to air the original audio), and reflecting on the ripple effects that followed—on my relationships, my faith, my healing, and the full-circle moment of having Rob Bell on It’s Both.

If you’ve ever felt torn between being “loving” and having boundaries… or wondered if taking care of yourself makes you selfish… this one is for you.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

When your beliefs shift, it can feel like you’re losing everything—community, certainty, even yourself. This conversation offers a grounded way to keep faith while navigating transitions with honesty and self-compassion—so you can say, “I believe—just differently,” and mean it.

In this episode, Nashville minister David Perez shares his move from either/or religion to a spacious both/and spirituality. We get practical about rebuilding from the inside out—no shame, no hot takes—just tools that help real people through real change.

You’ll learn:

- How to make sense of a faith identity shift without burning your life down

- A non-arguing approach to deconstruction (drop the rope, keep your peace)

- What love-first theology looks like in everyday relationships

- Simple practices for self-compassion and emotional regulation during doubt

- How to find (or form) safe community while your beliefs evolve

About the show: Honest conversations and practical tools for mixed emotions, navigating transitions, overthinking, decision making, and emotional intelligence—without toxic positivity.

If this helped, follow the show for weekly episodes and share it with a friend who’s in the messy middle.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with David Moses Perez on his website, his church Spero Dei, & listen to his podcast Iconoclast

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

What happens when fear-based faith collapses—and you're left starting over with no certainty? In this conversation with Brian Recker, author of Hell Bent, we talk about anxiety after deconstruction, navigating transitions when belief systems break down, and how ideas like hell and punishment rewire your nervous system.

Together, we explore how to stay grounded when starting over, hold mixed emotions without forcing clarity, and rebuild with self-compassion instead of shame. This episode offers language for grief & growth, tools for emotional regulationduring identity shift, and a both/and approach to faith transitions.

You'll hear practical reflections on:

- Starting over without shame (or decision fatigue about what to believe)

- Letting go of fear-based faith without rushing into false certainty

- How grief and imagination interact during belief changes

- Rebuilding self-trust after systems break down

- Navigating transitions with honesty, agency, and compassion

- Boundaries with people who don't understand your shift

If you're questioning inherited beliefs, feeling uncertainty after leaving religion, or learning how to live without all the answers, this conversation offers grounded perspective for personal growth—without pressure, shame, or toxic positivity.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Brian Recker on Instagram, visit his website, & buy his book Hell Bent

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Life transitions after purity culture can feel disorienting—shame, mixed messages, and binary thinking collide. With Linda Kay Klein, we name what life transitions look like during deconstruction and map one kinder next step so you don’t abandon yourself.

We unpack what “purity culture” is, how right/wrong binaries create internal tornadoes, why bothness (grief and relief) shows up in change, and the real ways it shapes adulthood and sexuality. Linda shares a practical three-part recovery path—deconstruction + reconstruction together, finding solidarity so you’re not alone, and (when ready) turning healing outward. If you’ve felt torn between who you were told to be and who you’re becoming, this conversation offers language, relief, and a gentler way forward.

If you’re navigating life transitions, follow for new episodes Tuesdays.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Linda Kay Klein on Instagram & visit her website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Feeling torn between selflessness and self-care? Stuck overthinking every choice? In Part 2 with Rob Bell, we talk about breaking the overthinking spiral, reclaiming your inner knowing, and why healing isn't "late"—it's right on time.

You'll hear how to stop second-guessing yourself when navigating transitions, how clarity emerges through stillness (not more analysis), and Nikki's story of how one boundary question 10 years ago changed the trajectory of her life. This episode offers a practical reframe for overthinking when life feels complex—plus tools to rebuild self-trust and peace of mind.

In this episode, we cover:

- How systems and power structures train you to doubt your own intuition (creating decision fatigue)

- "The juice of life": making choices without the fear of one perfect answer

- Self-care vs. selflessness (and why taking care of yourself expands what you can give)

- "Right on time" healing: releasing urgency and rebuilding peace of mind

- How to stay engaged with a hard world without losing yourself

- Boundaries that honor both connection and self-compassion

This episode builds on Part 1 ("The Certainty Trap & Overthinking"). Listen to Part 1 HERE first for deeper context.

Follow It's Both for weekly conversations on navigating transitions, overthinking, personal growth, and real-life change—without toxic positivity.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Rob Bell on Instagram & visit his website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

Feeling stuck chasing the “right” answer? This episode uses emotional intelligence to break the certainty trap—so you can get out of your head, back into your body, and hold joy and grief side by side without spiraling.

In Part 1 with Rob Bell, we explore why binary thinking feels like safety (and why it’s often scarcity in disguise), the relationship between grief and imagination, and how learning to feel what’s true can unlock clarity and your next step.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

- Why the mind craves either/or—and how the heart can hold both

- How “rightness” can masquerade as moral certainty while actually fueling scarcity

- The grief → imagination link (and why grief moves in waves)

- Why we get stuck in our heads (and what it costs us)

- A freeing reframe for the “I should be farther along” story

This is Part 1. In Part 2, we get more practical about self-trust, embodiment, and choosing without certainty.

Follow the show so you don’t miss Part 2—and share this with a friend who’s in the messy middle.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Follow Rob Bell on Instagram & visit his website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

Feeling mixed emotions at the end of the year? This solo reflection is for anyone navigating transitions while holding grief and gratitude at the same time—without forcing clarity or burning out.

I share honestly about loneliness, identity shifts in motherhood, career changes, community loss, and our family’s upcoming move. You’ll hear why reflection (before resolutions) restores clarity, energy, and self-compassion—and how to honor what’s hard without minimizing what’s good.

In this episode, you’ll get:

- A calm reflection practice for the messy middle

- How to hold grief and gratitude without choosing one

- A nervous-system-friendly approach to big decisions

- Language for naming loneliness and staying connected

- A preview of the January faith series (Rob Bell, Linda Kay Klein, Brian Recker, David Perez)

I’m off next week and back in January. If this resonated, follow the show, rate & review on Apple Podcasts, and share it with someone who’s holding a lot right now.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Follow the show on Instagram