What if the moment that saved you started as a question you were afraid to ask?

Ten years ago, I wrote in a question about love, boundaries, and faith to a podcast called Ask Science Mike… and Rob Bell answered it. I didn’t know it then, but his response helped move me from people-pleasing to self-respect, from either/or thinking to both/and thinking—and it became one of the turning points that changed the direction of my life.

In this solo episode, I’m sharing the full context of what was happening behind the scenes at the time, reading the transcript of my original question and parts of Rob’s response (I don’t have the rights to air the original audio), and reflecting on the ripple effects that followed—on my relationships, my faith, my healing, and the full-circle moment of having Rob Bell on It’s Both.

If you’ve ever felt torn between being “loving” and having boundaries… or wondered if taking care of yourself makes you selfish… this one is for you.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

When your beliefs shift, it can feel like you’re losing everything—community, certainty, even yourself. This conversation offers a grounded way to keep faith while navigating transitions with honesty and self-compassion—so you can say, “I believe—just differently,” and mean it.

In this episode, Nashville minister David Perez shares his move from either/or religion to a spacious both/and spirituality. We get practical about rebuilding from the inside out—no shame, no hot takes—just tools that help real people through real change.

You’ll learn:

- How to make sense of a faith identity shift without burning your life down

- A non-arguing approach to deconstruction (drop the rope, keep your peace)

- What love-first theology looks like in everyday relationships

- Simple practices for self-compassion and emotional regulation during doubt

- How to find (or form) safe community while your beliefs evolve

About the show: Honest conversations and practical tools for mixed emotions, navigating transitions, overthinking, decision making, and emotional intelligence—without toxic positivity.

If this helped, follow the show for weekly episodes and share it with a friend who’s in the messy middle.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with David Moses Perez on his website, his church Spero Dei, & listen to his podcast Iconoclast

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

What happens when fear-based faith collapses—and you’re left to rebuild meaning without certainty? In this conversation with Brian Recker, we explore emotional intelligence as a grounding skill for navigating doubt, loss, and change without abandoning yourself.

Together, we talk about how ideas like hell, punishment, and certainty shape the nervous system—and how emotional intelligence helps create clarity, self-compassion, and steadier decision making during seasons of deconstruction and identity shift. This episode offers language for holding mixed emotions, naming grief & growth, and staying present when faith no longer fits the way it used to.

You’ll hear practical reflections on:

- Emotional intelligence as a tool for uncertainty and inner conflict

- Letting go of fear without rushing into false clarity

- How grief and imagination interact during belief changes

- Rebuilding trust in yourself after systems break down

- Navigating transitions with honesty, agency, and compassion

If you’re starting over spiritually, questioning inherited beliefs, or learning how to live without clear answers, this conversation offers grounded perspective for navigating transitions—without shame, pressure, or certainty traps.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Brian Recker on Instagram, visit his website, & buy his book Hell Bent

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation