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It's Not Me, It's You

It's Not Me, It's You

Written by: Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo
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Love is messy. Dating is chaotic. And sometimes, it’s not you... it’s definitely them. Or is it? Join sibling duo Vanessa and Matthew Castillo (11 years apart but equally chaotic) as they dive into the wild world of relationships, fireside chat style. From ghosting and cringe-worthy situationships to long-term love and red flags we all ignore. Expect real talk, unfiltered laughs, and hard truths. Whether you’re single, cuffed, or somewhere in between, you’ll leave every episode feeling a little less alone, and a lot more entertained. Come for the laughs, stay for the relatable chaos. ♥️ 💔Vanessa Castillo and Matthew Castillo Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • The "fun parts" of dating...
    Jan 12 2026

    The Fun Parts of Dating (Yes, We’re Being Sarcastic)

    We had a little time before the year wrapped… so of course we hit record.
    This one’s off-the-whim, no outline, no filter, just us talking about the “fun” parts of dating (heavy sarcasm implied).

    From mixed signals, situationships, overthinking texts, dating fatigue, and the emotional gymnastics that somehow count as modern romance, we’re laughing through it because honestly… what else can you do?

    If you’ve ever said “I’m done dating” and then downloaded the app again a week later, this episode is for you.
    End-of-year chaos, dating trauma bonding, and real talk before the reset.

    Happy almost-new-year. Good luck out there 🫡

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    22 mins
  • The darkness of dating apps: Trust, but verify.
    Jan 5 2026

    Dating apps aren’t just awkward anymore… they’re kinda dark.

    In this episode, Matt breaks down his real-life experiences on dating apps...from sketchy situations to straight-up fraud, and why “trust, but verify” isn’t paranoia, it’s survival.

    We talk about:

    • The illusion of safety on dating apps

    • Red flags that show up way too late

    • When giving the benefit of the doubt turns into being naïve

    • How optimism can get you played

    • Protecting your energy, time, and peace while still staying open to love

    This isn’t fear-mongering, it’s real conversations from real experiences.
    If you’re dating online, thinking about it, or already tired of it… this one’s for you.

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    1 hr and 32 mins
  • Be the Water, Not the Rock: Love, Fear & Finding Your Flow.
    Dec 10 2025

    This week’s episode gets heated in the best way. Vanessa and Matt get real about love, fear, commitment, and whether past experiences leave us tainted or just more self-aware.

    Matt opens up about thinking he might’ve been in love once and why he doesn’t know if he’ll ever find love again. Vanessa challenges him on how commitment does define a relationship, especially after dedicating 7 years to one relationship and 9 to another.

    We dive into:

    • What “being tainted” really means

    • Why commitment matters (or doesn’t?)

    • How to go with the flow instead of forcing connections

    • Becoming a magnet for what you want

    • “Be the water, not the rock” ... our new dating mantra

    • The difference between lack of chemistry vs. genuine compatibility

    • Knowing what you’re doing in dating (and not misleading people)

    It’s honest. It’s vulnerable. It’s chaotic.And it might just help you figure out your own relationships.

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    1 hr and 2 mins
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