TRIGGER WARNING: Discussions of suicide and depressionIf anyone watching is personally struggling, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988 in the US) is always available.

Dr. Lisa Firestone is a clinical psychologist and suicidologist who has spent over 35 years researching couple relationships, attachment, and self-destructive behavior. She's the Director of Research and Education at the Glendon Association, a Senior Editor at PsychAlive.org, and co-author of books including Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice and Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships. In this episode, she breaks down why intimacy fades in long-term relationships, the four attachment styles, and how the "critical inner voice" can quietly shape our relationships and mental health.

In this episode, we discuss:

(1:35) Why Intimacy Fades When Couples Feel "Too Secure"
(5:52) What Is a "Fantasy Bond"?
(9:04) Why We're Attracted to Partners Who Match Our Defenses
(11:50) The Origins of Attachment Theory
(14:02) Anxious Attachment: Why "Turning Up the Volume" Backfires
(14:55) Disorganized Attachment: When There's No Safe Strategy
(20:22) Can You "Earn" Secure Attachment as an Adult?
(30:03) The Hardest Attachment Combo: Anxious + Avoidant
(39:36) Why "It Takes a Village" Is Backed by Attachment Science
(43:56) Signs You're in a "Fantasy Bond" With Your Partner
(50:56) The Real Reason Behind Most Infidelity
(58:14) Busting the Myth: Do Happy Couples Never Fight?
(1:03:55) How Male Vulnerability Actually Strengthens Relationships
(1:09:55) What Is the "Critical Inner Voice"?
(1:19:58) Building Resilience: Coping Strategies That Actually Work

Learn more about Dr. Lisa Firestone here:
Website: https://www.drlisafirestone.com
PsychAlive: https://www.psychalive.org
The Glendon Association: https://www.glendon.org
Books: Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice / Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships

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Watch this episode on Youtube: https://youtu.be/LZp3dzL61xI