There's a phrase I use about colour all the time: once you see it, you can't un-see it.

And while this is super true, and reflected back to us daily by our students and clients - actually the most world-shifting version of that in my life wasn't about colour psychology, it was about the colour of my skin.

Today's episode, Joy First decision #8 - is about the decision I made to commit to a lifetime of understanding and doing my part to stand up against racism and systems of oppression.... and to understanding my place in them as a white woman. This commitment came in 2020, after the murder of George Floyd, when a friend invited me into Dr. Lynne Maureen Hurdle's programme, On the Matter of Race.

I stayed in that room, every other week (with some seasonal breaks), for over five years. And it fundamentally shifted how I see the world now.

In this episode I share about the white bubble I grew up in, and never questioned, about the "good white person checklist" I walked into 'the work' looking ofr, the the family myth about Cherokee ancestry I went digging into (and the far more complicated truth I found), and why when it comes to people being oppressed and marginalized, there is no neutral.

In fact, it's one of the deepest sources of joy I've found in my life - as it's broken me open, and clarified my own mission and purpose in ways that make it matter1000x more. I'm not an expert or a teacher, I will always be a student... but if you're curious please join me in this exploration.

In this episode:

• Why niceness and politeness can keep us complicit, and the difference between niceness and kindness

• "Am I unsafe, or just uncomfortable?" (the question that changes everything)

• Holding complexity: how we can be both harmed and part of the harm

• Why facing this work unlocks joy rather than draining it

• On the Matter of Race with Dr. Lynne Maureen Hurdle: https://theconflictcloser.com/matter-of-race

• Nice White Ladies by Jessie Daniels: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57007984-nice-white-ladies

• Xander Golden's Thread: https://www.threads.com/share/BAYmpoeP1k/

• The "Dealing With Whiteness" series on my previous podcast, Joy, Colour, Impact & Dogs:

on iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/joy-colour-impact-dogs/id1697112722

on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5EsgLUsJrJWebrNrxNPHG1

If this episode stirred something in you, share it with someone you'd like to invite into the work. See you next time for Joy First Decision #9.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm recording this one from my bed, surrounded by the dog, the laundry and my daughter's panda, because (as usual) I'm navigating chaos: the floors are being replaced and there's nowhere quiet left in the house. Which, as usual, seems exactly right for exploring Joy First Decision #7: the decision to stop chasing freedom, put down roots... and have kids.

In the last episode I was gleefully drifting around Europe, taking selfies with my Frenchie in front of the Eiffel Tower and in Venice. This is the episode where I start making the opposite sort of choices: ones with roots, responsibilities and very sore nipples.

I'm getting into all of it: why being a kid mom (or a dog mom) never seems to add up on paper, and how the joy stacks up anyway. What it was like to be one of the only women in my world who chose kids (when my friends and peers mostly chose pets instead). The horror and the richness held together, including the birth trauma we're not supposed to mention and the fear I carried my whole life: that motherhood would become my entire personality.

In this episode:

• Why the "should I have kids" maths never adds up (and why that doesn't matter)

• How I guarded against motherhood swallowing me, and how it changed me anyway

• The surprising way motherhood deepened the way basic human decency has radicalized me

• The club I got an instant free pass to that I wasn't expecting

• The one thing that makes it all possible for me to cling to my sanity while navigating through survival mode

If this resonates, follow the show and leave a review (thank you so much 🙏). See you next time for Joy First Decision number eight.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I will never forget standing in a tiny grocery store in Lake Como, Italy... holding a lemon almost as big as my hand with the leaves still on, and realizing this wasn't a holiday. It was my actual life.

I would I have posted those lemons on instagram, but what you wouldn't fave seen there, is what it actually took to finally be standing there.

I'd built a business I could run from anywhere (a six-figure online membership and consulting business, run entirely over Zoom). I had been running it from my tiny terrace house in London. I could be anywhere, but instead I sat at my kitchen table, day after day... sometimes splashing out to the coffee shop down the road.

What was the point of having autonomy if I was too scared to use it?

In this episode (Joy First Decision #6) I tell the whole story of how my husband and I came to live in Lake Como, Italy, Morzine, France, and Mallorca, Spain after losing my heart dog Olivia, becoming reluctant landlords; moving into a spare room in someone else's house, and then actually hitting the road for the digital nomad life. All while running the business, working with clients, writing a book, and getting paid to speak on stages.

In this episode:

• Why you can build total freedom and still never use it

• That the biggest joy so often sits on the far side of the discomfort you're avoiding

• How the whole thing started with one small choice: a single change to my calendar

If this resonated, follow the show and leave a review. I will see you next time for Joy First Decision #7.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.