In this eye-opening episode of our executive function series, I reveal the truth about impulse control - and why hitting snooze, interrupting people, or buying things you didn't plan to isn't about willpower or character flaws. Your brain just moves faster than your awareness can catch it.

📌 Key Topics:

• Why impulse control struggles happen so fast you don't catch them until AFTER
• How my husband and I ended up $90,000 in debt (and the system that finally worked)
• The difference between motivation problems and impulse control challenges
• Understanding emotional impulsivity: why reactions come before awareness
• The mistake of going straight from reacting to self-criticism (and what to do instead)
• Creating physical cues and systems that work WITH your ADHD brain

🗣️ Featured Quote: "Impulse control isn't about stopping impulses. It's about learning how to work with them. Sometimes the pause comes after the action. Then it moves to during, and eventually, sometimes it shows up before. Progress is better than perfection. One pause at a time."

💡 Strategy Breakdown:

• The shopping cart pause technique: add items, close the window, wait 1-2 days
• The fridge check-in system: turn standing there into a moment of awareness
• Physical cues for interrupting (inspired by first graders—yes, really!)
• Self-soothing BEFORE self-criticism so your nervous system can actually learn
• Pre-programming reactions by asking "who do I want to be in that moment?"
• Using reflection (not judgment) to build skills over time

🔬 The Science: Research shows people with ADHD are about 15 times more impatient, 8 times more likely to be quick to anger, and 10 times more likely to lose their temper. This isn't about character—it's emotional dysregulation that needs support, not shame.

🎯 Real Examples: Impulsive spending, emotional eating, task-switching at work, blurting things out, hitting snooze, and yelling at kids (and how I finally stopped).

🔑 Key Takeaway: Impulse control struggles are often mistaken for motivation problems. Most people listening are highly motivated—the issue is regulating behavior in the moment, especially when discomfort shows up. Awareness after the fact still counts. That's where change starts.

Connect with Mande:

Learn more about private coaching with Mande: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/services/

Free Resources: https://learntothrivewithadhd.com/freeresources/

Website: https://www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/

LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/learntothrivewithadhd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/learntothrivewithadhd/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/learntothrivewithadhd/

#executivefunctions #adhd #impulsecontrol #adhdsupport #adhdstrategies #adhdcommunity #emotionalregulation #adhdawareness #neurodivergent #adhdtools

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Have you been putting your life on hold — waiting until things calm down, waiting until you're caught up, waiting until you finally "have it together"? What if the wait is the problem? In this episode, Coach Mande breaks down the most powerful ideas from Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman — and shows you exactly why they hit different for ADHD brains. This isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about finally giving yourself permission to stop striving and start living — right now, exactly as you are.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why letting go of perfection isn't giving up — it's actually the doorway to moving forward again
• The "just do it once" reframe that takes all the pressure off starting
• How waiting to "catch up" before living keeps you trapped in a cycle that never ends
• The truth about focused energy: most humans (ADHD brains especially) only have 3–4 productive hours a day — and why that's not a flaw
• What "brain dead activities" are and how sorting your tasks this way changes everything
• Why peace doesn't have to be the finish line — it can be your starting point
• How letting other people have their own feelings is one of the most freeing things you can do (and why ADHD brains struggle with this)
• The magic of small completions — and how finishing things imperfectly actually builds momentum and trust with yourself
• Why you don't have to read the whole book to benefit — just one or two shifts can change your entire day

Mande shares how this book gave her personal permission to stop demanding the impossible from herself, why these ideas work so well for ADHD brains, and the way each concept connects to the shame cycles and self-negotiation so many of us know all too well. She also unpacks the important nuance: this isn't about becoming perfectly organized or productive all day. It's about working with your natural energy, releasing over-responsibility for others, and letting small completions quietly build your confidence — one tiny step at a time.

Key Takeaway: You're not behind. You don't have to wait to start living. Burkeman's ideas remind us that loosening our grip on perfection isn't failure — it's freedom. For ADHD brains, that single shift can open the door to everything else.

Resources Mentioned:

• 📖 Book: Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman (available on Audible — approximately 4 hours)
• Instagram: @learntothrivewithadhd
• Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly

Ready to start working with your ADHD brain instead of against it? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services

#ADHD #ADHDPodcast #ADHDMotivation #ADHDCoaching #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity #BookReview #ADHDBooks #LetGoOfPerfection #ADHDStrategies

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Are you exhausted from negotiating with yourself all day long—about getting out of bed, doing the task, starting the project, or eating the thing? Do you wish motivation felt less like pressure and more like support? In this solo episode, Coach Mande shares one simple question that transforms how ADHD brains navigate daily motivation: "What would make me most proud in this moment?"

In this episode, we discuss:

• The one question that reduces friction and makes hard tasks suddenly feel doable
• Why "just do it" doesn't work for ADHD brains (and what works instead)
• How to stop the exhausting mental tug-of-war that happens before every task
• The surprising truth: sometimes the answer to the question is REST (and why that's completely valid)
• How this practice invites you into alignment with who you want to be—moment by moment—without shame or pressure
• Why this question helps you move from constant self-negotiation to clarity and action
• Practical ways to remember the practice (using emotions as cues, making it visible, building it into your day)
• How small, consistent choices stack up over time to create real momentum
• Why you don't have to do this perfectly or every day—and why that's the entire point

Mande shares how she stumbled onto this question while working with a client, why it works so well for ADHD brains, and the cumulative effect it's had on her own life. She also unpacks the important nuance: this isn't about productivity. It's about honesty, self-trust, and making choices that gently move you toward who you want to be. Sometimes that's action. Sometimes that's rest. Both count.

Key Takeaway: Motivation doesn't have to feel harsh. This one question creates space for compassionate self-coaching that actually works—without adding another "should" to your list. When you ask yourself what would make you most proud in this moment, you're practicing honesty, building self-trust, and making choices that align with your values.

Resources Mentioned:

• FREE downloadable guide: Reflective questions + printable at learntothrivewithadhd.com/proud
• Instagram post to save and share: @learntothrivewithadhd
• Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly

Ready to lower friction and make ADHD easier? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services

#ADHD #ADHDPodcast #ADHDMotivation #ADHDCoaching #SelfCompassion #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity

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CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!

Are you struggling with emotional reactions that surprise even you? Do certain people or situations consistently set you off, and you wish they didn't? In this solo episode, Coach Mande dives deep into one of the most overlooked aspects of ADHD success: emotional maturity - and why it's a set of learnable skills that can transform your life.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What emotional maturity actually is (and why it's NOT about being calm all the time or never reacting)
• The surprising research on ADHD and emotional development delays—and why you're not behind, you're just on a different timeline
• How to recognize the difference between "emotional childhood" (reacting from old patterns) and "emotional adulthood" (responding with intention)
• Why your parenting struggles might actually be about YOUR emotional maturity, not your child's behavior
• The truth about growing up with emotional chaos—and how to break the cycle without blame
• The E.A.S.Y. Framework for building emotional maturity with ADHD:
  • Evaluate: Understanding yourself without judgment
  • Awareness: Noticing thoughts, feelings, and patterns so you can respond instead of react
  • Systems & Skills: Supporting yourself with practical tools and emotional regulation strategies
  • You Show Up: Taking imperfect action and building maturity through consistency, not perfection
• How building emotional maturity reduces avoidance, rejection sensitivity, spiraling, and people-pleasing—while increasing self-trust and intentional living

Mande shares personal moments where she's shown great emotional maturity and moments where she definitely hasn't—and why that's completely normal for ADHD brains. She also unpacks groundbreaking research from Frontiers in Human Neuroscience showing that children with ADHD consistently perform emotionally like peers 1-3 years younger, and what that means for adults navigating relationships, parenting, and personal growth.

Key Takeaway: You're not broken. You're not behind. You're learning skills most people were never taught. Emotional maturity grows when you make small choices that support your future self—and you can step into emotional adulthood at any age.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Russell Barkley's research on ADHD emotional delays
• Study from Frontiers in Human Neuroscience (500+ children with ADHD)
• Episode 110: Full E.A.S.Y. Framework deep dive
• Weekly ADHD Newsletter: learntothrivewithadhd.com/weekly

Ready to build emotional maturity and make ADHD easier? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at learntothrivewithadhd.com/services

#ADHD #ADHDPodcast #EmotionalMaturity #ADHDCoaching #EmotionalRegulation #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #ADHDSupport #Neurodiversity

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CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!

Are you stuck believing that ADHD is a limitation rather than a superpower? John A. Brink, an 85-year-old entrepreneur, author, and competitive bodybuilder, joins us to share how discovering ADHD at 57 completely transformed his understanding of himself - and his life.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How undiagnosed ADHD became the hidden ingredient to business success (and why 75% of highly successful entrepreneurs may have ADHD)
• The pivotal discovery of Dr. Hallowell's work in 1997 and why knowing who you are changes everything
• Why failing grade 7 three times was actually a gift—and how to reframe academic struggles as interest problems, not intelligence problems
• The transformative power of Toastmasters in overcoming communication anxiety and building confidence
• How to manage multiple business ventures and interests without feeling scattered (the secret is systems and structures)
• The critical connection between health, fitness, and mental stimulation for thriving at any age
• Why authenticity in content creation attracts a global community of 2-2.5 million viewers

John shares his remarkable story of arriving in Canada with just $25.47 and no job, building a lumber empire from the ground up, and discovering at 62 that he had ADHD all along. We dive deep into how his ADHD brain actually enabled his entrepreneurial risk-taking, his ability to juggle multiple business "silos," and his passion for continuous learning and growth. John also reveals how he became North America's oldest competitive bodybuilder and why he'll never retire.

About Our Guest: John A. Brink is a Canadian entrepreneur, author, and media personality who has built multiple successful businesses including Canada's largest secondary lumber manufacturer. Diagnosed with ADHD at 62, John is passionate about removing stigma and helping others recognize ADHD as a superpower. He's published five books on business, ADHD, communication, and personal development, hosts his own podcast. At 85, John continues to compete in bodybuilding, speak at schools about WWII and resilience, and mentor the next generation of ADHD entrepreneurs.

Connect with John A. Brink:
Website: johnаbrink.com
On The Brink Podcast: Available on all major platforms
Books: Available on Amazon & Audible (Against All Odds, ADHD Unlocked, Finding Your Passion Living the Dream, Living Young Dying Old, Billion Dollar Communication Skills)

Key Takeaway: ADHD isn't something to overcome—it's a superpower to unlock. Your struggles in traditional settings don't define your potential; they're simply clues that you're wired for something bigger.


Ready to unlock YOUR ADHD superpower? Book a free coaching consultation with Coach Mande at Learn to Thrive with ADHD.com/services

#ADHD #ADHDPodcast #Neurodiversity #Entrepreneurship #ADHDSuperpowers #MentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #LearnToThrive #CoachingPodcast

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CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!

Learn the Stop, Drop & Plan system - Mande's proven ADHD time management method for managing overwhelm, prioritizing tasks, and reducing the "pinball effect" of bouncing between work.

The ADHD Overwhelm Problem

When you have ADHD, managing multiple responsibilities creates the "pinball effect" - bouncing from task to task without completion. You start on one thing, notice another urgent item, switch to that, notice something else... and suddenly you're overwhelmed and haven't finished anything.

Mande discovered the real issue wasn't the number of tasks - it was that she hadn't planned her day.

The Stop, Drop & Plan Framework

STOP — Notice when you're bouncing between tasks

DROP — Get everything onto a Now/Not Now list

PLAN — Identify what actually has to happen today

The Now/Not Now List: Task Prioritization Made Simple

The Now/Not Now list is a two-column system that separates:

• Today's tasks (yellow highlighter)
• Tomorrow's tasks (orange highlighter)
• Everything else ("Not Now")

When Mande used this system, she discovered a crucial insight:

Her brain said: hundreds of urgent tasks Reality: 6 things actually needed to happen

This clarity reduces overwhelm and activates task completion.

How This ADHD Time Management System Works

🔹 Google Calendar — Time-block appointments, routines, and task work. Estimate time for each task.

🔹 Physical Planner — Disc planner system for monthly overview of recurring tasks and appointments.

🔹 Now/Not Now List — Two-column categorization (business/personal, today/tomorrow/not now)

🔹 Metallic Sharpie Marking — Mark completed tasks visibly so you can track progress

🔹 Planning Time Limit — Set 10-minute timer to avoid planning without doing

Why This Works for ADHD Brains

• Externalizes task load (gets it out of your head)
• Creates visual clarity on priorities
• Reduces decision fatigue
• Manages anxiety through realistic task count

The Planning Dopamine Trap

Planning triggers dopamine, but be careful: spending hours on a perfect plan means no energy left for execution. The solution: plan for 10 minutes, then take action.

When Tasks Get Transferred

If a task gets transferred to your list 4+ times, it's on the wrong list. It's probably not actually important to you.

Resources Mentioned

📋 Disc Planner System (also: Martha Stewart, Happy Planner) 📋 Now/Not Now template from Natalie Rebecca Designs 🎯 Google Calendar ⏰ Visual timer ✏️ Metallic Sharpie

Related Episodes

👂 Episode 34: ADHD Coaching Strategies with Stephanie McEwan

Send us a text

CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!

The 5-Minute ADHD Unfreeze Guide: Stop Staring and Start Moving

Ever find yourself frozen—knowing exactly what to do, but unable to start? That’s ADHD paralysis. It’s not laziness or lack of willpower—it’s your brain protecting you from overload. In this episode, Coach Mande John breaks down why it happens and gives you the tools to break free fast.

You’ll learn the 4 hidden triggers behind ADHD paralysis and discover how to reset your brain, calm your body, and take one small step forward.

💡 IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL DISCOVER:
• The real reasons behind ADHD paralysis (and why it’s not your fault)
• 4 common triggers: information overload, perfectionism, low dopamine, and stress/fatigue
• Body-based reset techniques that instantly get your brain moving again
• Micro-actions that make any task startable
• Supportive self-talk and 5–10 minute timer tricks to bypass perfectionism
• How to build your personal “When I’m frozen, I will…” action plan

🎁 FREE DOWNLOAD: Get your 5-Minute ADHD Unfreeze Guide → www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/unfreeze

Remember: You don’t need more motivation—you need a calmer brain and one small action. Every bit of movement counts.

✨ TAKE ACTION:
📝 Download the free Unfreeze Guide
🎤 Leave a voice message: www.speakpipe.com/learntothrivewithadhd

📧 Book a free ADHD coaching consultation: www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/services

⭐ Share this episode with someone who needs a little momentum today

Keywords: ADHD paralysis, ADHD motivation, ADHD coaching, executive dysfunction, ADHD productivity, ADHD overwhelm, ADHD brain freeze, adult ADHD, ADHD support, ADHD reset, ADHD momentum, Learn to Thrive with ADHD, Mande John

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The E.A.S.Y. ADHD Self-Coaching Framework: Your 4-Step Path from Stuck to Unstuck

Feeling stuck in the same ADHD patterns? Tired of spinning your wheels? In this game-changing episode, Coach Mande John reveals the exact ADHD self-coaching framework she uses with her private clients - now available to you for FREE.

This simple yet powerful E.A.S.Y. framework helps you:
• Stop guessing and start moving forward
• Build self-awareness without judgment
• Create systems that actually work for your ADHD brain
• Take imperfect action and build real momentum

THE E.A.S.Y. FRAMEWORK BREAKDOWN:
E - EVALUATE: Rate yourself across 20 key ADHD areas (time management, organization, emotional regulation, and more) using a simple 1-10 scale
A - AWARENESS: Identify the thoughts and beliefs keeping you stuck vs. helping you thrive
S - SYSTEMS & SKILLS: Build personalized routines and practice learnable skills like planning and prioritizing
Y - YOU SHOW UP: Make one specific commitment and keep coming back (even when it's messy!)

In this episode, you'll discover:
• Why most ADHD advice doesn't stick (and what actually works)
• The power of rating without judging yourself
• How to catch unhelpful thought patterns before they derail you
• Simple questions to ask when you feel overwhelmed
• Why recommitting after getting off track isn't failure - it's growth
• The accountability secret that builds self-trust

Plus, hear a heartwarming listener voicemail about how these strategies are already changing lives!

🎁 FREE WORKBOOK: Download your step-by-step E.A.S.Y. Framework Workbook at www.learntothrivewithadhd.com/easy

Remember: You're not stuck. You're just one decision away from momentum.

TAKE ACTION:
📝 Grab the free workbook
🎤 Leave a voice message: www.speakpipe.com/learntothrivewithadhd
📧 Book a free ADHD coaching consultation: learntothrivewithadhd.com/services
⭐ Share this episode with someone who needs it

Keywords: ADHD coaching, ADHD self-help, executive dysfunction, ADHD strategies, adult ADHD, ADHD framework, time management ADHD, ADHD organization, emotional regulation ADHD, ADHD productivity

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CLICK HERE for more resources. We're on this journey together!