Let me ask you something that might hurt. When you think about your father, what comes up first? Pride? Pain? Anger? Emptiness? That desperate need to prove something he never acknowledged?
In this episode, I'm going into territory that's sacred and raw—the father wound. After 27 years leading men in the Coast Guard, I learned something critical: almost every man I worked with was carrying something from his father. Most didn't even realize it until we started unpacking why they showed up the way they did.
Your relationship with your father—or the lack of one—is shaping how you show up as a man right now. It's in the way you lead. The way you love. The way you parent. The way you see yourself when no one's watching.
Here's what we're covering:
I break down the five types of father wounds I've seen repeatedly—absence, criticism, harshness, emotional distance, and the impossible standard of perfection. Each one leaves different marks, but they all teach you something about what it means to be a man. And those lessons? They're running your life right now, whether you know it or not.
Then I walk you through how these wounds show up in your daily life. Why you might struggle with intimacy even though you love your partner. Why you work yourself to exhaustion chasing approval that never comes. Why you're terrified of failing. Why you feel like you're faking manhood without a blueprint.
But here's where it gets real—I give you the actual path forward. Not theory. Not feel-good platitudes. The real work: acknowledging the wound, grieving what you didn't get, separating his limitations from your identity, doing the work he couldn't do, and building what you never received.
This episode will hit hard if:
- You're still chasing approval from a man who'll never give it
- You're determined not to become your father but don't know what to become instead
- You're carrying anger you've never known what to do with
- You grew up without a father and you're figuring out manhood alone
- Your father was great and now you're drowning trying to measure up
I include a Power Pause in the middle because this stuff brings up real pain. You'll need a moment to breathe and sit with two questions that might change everything.
This isn't about blaming your father. It's about understanding how his presence or absence shaped you so you can heal and stop passing the same wounds to the next generation. Your father's limitations were about him—his wounds, his pain, his lack of tools. Not about your worth.
You are not your father. You're not limited by his limitations. You can be the man you needed him to be.
Ready to do this work?
Head to www.calibratedresilience.com and sign up for my FREE webinar, "The Resilience Reset: From Overwhelm to Unstoppable."
Got a story about your father wound? Questions you need answered? Email me at angela@calibratedresilience.com. I read every message.
My books—Man Enough, Calibrated Resilience, and others—are available on Amazon or at my website.
Next week, we're talking about the anger you're not allowed to feel. If you're carrying anger that's eating you alive, that episode is for you.
You can break the cycle, brother. It starts with you.
—Angela R. Strong Man Enough: Real Talk
26 mins
Feb 18 20263 mins
22 mins