📘 More Than Words – Epilogue: The Bit After The End 📘
A retired man, a spreadsheet, an Apple Watch with separation anxiety, and 2,876km of Britain. One year later, the project is complete — Skaw to St Agnes, Shetland to Scilly, B‑roads to fjords, drainage ditches to dynasties. And because I’ve never once resisted unnecessary ceremony, the finale comes with numbers, awards, and a spreadsheet that is still open, blinking, waiting, refusing to believe it’s over.
Featuring:
📊 The Numbers — 2,876km, 346 days, 17 rest days the spreadsheet took personally
🎙️ The Podcast — global listeners, accidental Kazakhstan outreach
🏆 The Awards — Mousehole supremacy, Virgin Gorda glory, treadmill misery, Telford domination
💪 The Injuries — golf balls, Quooker taps, and the shoulder that resigned mid‑sleep
🇬🇧 The Discoveries — thundersnow, sambuca birdies, vinegar factories, pebble labyrinth ethics
A year of history, chaos, weather crimes, accidental injuries, heroic lifeboat crews, hermits, smugglers, cannibals, engineers, saints, and settlements that absolutely should not be as interesting as they turned out to be. Britain hid the good stuff in the weird places. We found it.

🏁 More Than Words – Stage 52: The End of the Affair 🏁
A whole year. Fifty‑two stages. 2,876km. From Shetland’s sideways wind to Cornwall’s granite theatre — and somehow the final kilometres were completed on a Norwegian mountaintop while my virtual self was bouncing across the Atlantic on a Royal Mail ferry. Geography, at this point, simply gave up and let the vibes drive.
Featuring:
🧊 Lysefjord RIB — survival onesie, 40 knots, questionable spine decisions
🚡 Loen Skylift — 1,011m straight up in a glass conservatory on a zip wire
🛥️ Scillonian III — a Royal Mail ferry with “buoyant enthusiasm”
🐟 Mousehole — charm, pilchards, and a Spanish revenge tour
🎨 Lamorna — artists, hermits, and a cove with main‑character energy
🔦 Tater Du — a lighthouse that looks like a cliff‑edge utility cupboard
📡 Porthcurno — a beach hut that accidentally became the Pentagon
🪨 Carn Barges — granite older than most continents
🌊 St Agnes — final landfall, final chapter, final kilometre
Twelve months of walking, writing, swearing at weather apps, crossing seas, climbing ridges, chasing mileage, and occasionally declaring small boats to be geological features. And now: the spreadsheet is complete, the Apple Watch has stopped vibrating like an anxious bee, and the UK extremes expedition is officially closed.
One more thing: a bonus post drops next week — a final curtain call for the whole project.

🌊 More Than Words – Stage 51: Rock, Paper, Scillies 🌊
Penultimate episode: chaotic weather, 900‑ft moor climbs, Victorian gun‑mishaps, golf swing existentialism, and a 12‑pub farewell tour that dissolved my coherence somewhere around pub ten. Then Cornwall goes full granite‑theatre: witches, smugglers, cliff‑edge legends, and the Atlantic throwing mood swings at the map.
Featuring:
🌦️ Randomised climate — Met Office interns hitting “shuffle”
⛰️ Ashway Cross — Victorian MP, accidental shooting, gothic skyline
🍻 12 Pubs of Summer — colleagues, nostalgia, diminishing coherence
🧙 Crows‑an‑Wra — “witch’s cross,” sacred stones, and a man born here who died in the Great Fire of London
⚖️ Escalls — medieval lawyer/pirate/menace promoted repeatedly
🏰 Mayon & St Aubyns — a dynasty collecting Cornwall like limited‑edition merch
🌊 Sennen — surf, shipwrecks, RNLI heroics, and a smuggling feud with operatic consequences
📍 Land’s End — granite cliffs, Longships lighthouse, and 10,000 years of “yep, that’s the edge”
💡 Longships Light — storms so big they hide the lighthouse
🪨 Penwith — stone circles, hillforts, and Atlantic‑powered mood swings
🏡 Trevescan & Trethewey — quiet hamlets doing ancient‑waypoint energy
🏴‍☠️ Penzance - actual pirates, operatic pirates, and copyright pirates
Cornwall goes cinematic here — witches, cliffs, smugglers, granite, storms, shipwrecks, dynasties, and a headland performing “the end of England” with full theatrical commitment. One episode left.