*Impossible

One point from twenty-four, a squad that treats a football like a live wasp, and a new manager already looking crestfallen.

We dissect the Sunderland disaster, ponder the Muani prank, revisit Lange’s January negligence and ask why Richy connects with the ball with all the thudding authority of a polite cough in a library.

We also dive into the Romero riddle: were those tears for the club, or just the realization that his knee may have sabotaged his World Cup?

RDZ has inherited a flooding building and brought in new coaches to try and fix the plumbing, but is it just too late?

With Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Eady Hurley.

COYS THFC

Is Roberto De Zerbi a tactical genius or the world’s most expensive flight risk? This week, we dive into the Italian’s arrival at N17 — bringing high-energy Rondos, a fiery temperament and a salary that laughs in the face of the club's £831m

With only seven games to save the season, we ask: will he stay if we go down, or will he flounce out the moment he spots a carton of UHT milk in the canteen?

Also in this episode:

• Financial Fair Play-ish: Digging through the £94.7m loss—where did that "£100m war chest" go?

• The Mikey Moore Mystery: Why was the club quieter than a library about his health issues?

• Academy Watch: Are our loanees "desperately average" or just resting?

• The Art of the Text: Kev’s guide to the "Calculated Mock"—when exactly is it safe to ruin a friend’s weekend?

Plus, we induct the "USA-isation" of football and the phrase "I was today years old" into Room 101.

Featuring the legendary Julie Welch, the eternally miserable-yet-optimistic Kev Acott, and actor and wannabe social media star, Lee Brown

COYS.

With Roberto De Zerbi imminent, we ask the tough questions here on Nice One Cyril: Is he a Poundshop Conte? What about the baggage, the tantrums, the flouncing out? And has he got decent hair?

We discuss Ange revisionism and the board's troubling naivity. Plus Room 101 and our brand new and slightly pointless Guess The Ex-Spurs Player game.

Loads more besides.

Laughs, irreverence, therapy.

With Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Rob White.

COYS THFC