Welcome back to America’s Loudest Podcast, where we open the show literally waving guns around on camera and somehow that’s not even the most unhinged part of the hour.

We go from “I sleep next to a gun on the couch just in case” to debating poop knives like they’re a legitimate household tool.

Somewhere between declaring ourselves America’s fattest podcast, talking about poop particles on your toothbrush, and deciding whether having sex with a blow-up doll of yourself is “gay” or “gay as fuck,”…

Then we slide into Florida-or-Not madness: school board creeps calling underage girls “hot,” arson over macaroni and cheese, attic meth goblins falling through ceilings, and a McDonald’s cookie heist on Easter because of course it was.

Ian drops his very biased Top 10 Power Ballads list and the digital dump serves up planes hitting cars, Walmart brawls, jet ski stupidity, and a stoned idiot driving with a traffic light stuck to his car.

Welcome to America’s Fattest Podcast 🇺🇸

👕 If you’re fat, broke, or emotionally damaged, we still want your money go grab the “better than anything on the radio” shirt, the “dangit” kid shirt, and pretend your life is together. Hit the store: https://www.nottds.com/store/

📩 Got a secret relationship, a poop knife, or a “fuck you Jerry” level grudge you’re low-key proud of? Go scream it into our anonymous void and let us judge you: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2

⭐Follow the show, mash subscribe, and leave a review like you’re angrily commenting on your ex’s Facebook but healthier. All the links live here: https://linktr.ee/nottds

🎥 You wanna see the guns, the faces, and the full uncensored video chaos? Hit Patreon for bonus stuff or watch the video version on Spotify like a true DP. Join here: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShow

America’s Loudest Podcast gun friendly podcast Florida concealed carry three day waiting period podcast merch NTDS better than anything on the radio dang it shirt poop knife Reddit poop particles toothbrush bathroom books anonymous confessions podcast war Nebraska podcast little podcast in California blow up doll poll gay as fuck Patreon poll Florida or not Tennessee school board hot comment underage student castration law Louisiana Florida death penalty child crimes arson over macaroni and cheese mobile home fire attic burglar falls through ceiling Dothan Alabama dog gate self defense Missouri mac and cheese neck tattoo assault McDonald’s free cookies Easter robbery Florida Man show Florida Man HBO top 10 rock power ballads Heart Alone Journey Open Arms Foreigner I Want To Know What Love Is Aerosmith I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing Skid Row power ballad Queen Somebody To Love Prince Purple Rain Motley Crue Without You podcast confessions fuck you Jerry obituaries hate listening Walmart parking lot fight jet ski crash fail plane crashes into car drifting cone to the face Gen Z Xanax DUI traffic light stuck to car karaoke bar power ballads debate America’s fattest podcast

2N Jenn bailed to Mexico and left the three of us to maintain this flaming circus, so obviously we opened with Florida mugshots of the ugliest prostitutes on planet Earth and a “pimp” who looks like he manages a Dollar General, not a stable.

Somewhere between calling one of them a hobbit and realizing the guy looks exactly like Mikey’s cousin Jeremy, we decided “I fuck hookers” should probably be a shirt, then got distracted by our AI-generated thumbnail making Mikey the star and branding Jen as “100% whiting.”

Easter somehow turned into resurrection-weekend hooker arrests, zombie Jesus radio trouble, Elvis pube collections at Ripley’s, and whether Marilyn Monroe’s bush would need lamination.

Then we slid straight into voicemails and comments about Monster Mash maybe being an orgy, Medusa’s snake bush, dogs getting stuck during sex, substitute teachers getting wrecked by teenagers, stripper tipping economics, and whether it’s gay to rail a blow-up doll of yourself.

We still squeezed in bad relationship advice about a road-warrior promotion, a custody mess with a nine-year-old and a cold step-girlfriend, plus Craigslust gems like “birthday pegging and cum clean-up” and people proudly into water sports and humiliation cosplay.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

👕 If you wanna support the chaos AND dress your kid like a tiny delinquent, go snag the new radio shirt and the first-ever “little dang it” shirt in the damn store.

Buy something so Stroke stops trying to put “I fuck hookers” on a hat: https://www.nottds.com/store/

📩 Got a story worse than “I wiped with my finger and then licked it”? Because one of your fellow degenerates already set that bar.

Confess your emotional crimes, sex disasters, and family trauma here: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2

⭐ If you laughed, winced, or questioned your life choices at any point during this episode, hit follow, subscribe, and leave a review talking mad shit about us.
All the links live here like sad little ducks in a row: https://linktr.ee/nottds

🎥 You only heard the censored version; the uncensored video lives on Patreon and Spotify like the filthy little secret it is.

Come watch the full video, see the mugshots, shirts, and whatever Ian drags in next: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShow

Not That Damn Show America’s Loudest Podcast Jen Mexico vacation Easter mugshots Florida prostitutes pimp looks like Jeremy fat Ralph Macchio hobbit hooker resurrection weekend zombie Jesus radio trouble NTDS radio shirt little dang it shirt NTDS hat better than anything on the radio Elvis hair Ripley’s Marilyn Monroe pubes Medusa pubes Easter tri tip California 805 beer Yingling voicemails Nico mystery listener Monster Mash orgy theory Medusa snake pubes Elvis pube frame weird butt wiping forest ranger finger poop story biting testicles in a fight stripper tipping dollar bills stripper inflation substitute teacher chaos lazy teenagers unwritten rules empty box milk rant women eating alone at bar Chili’s guys hitting on women dog sex stuck together canine knot human version joke beanies Tim Pool rant tipping bartenders single beer job cannon rant promotion triple pay travel three weeks a month marriage vs money custody agreement nine year old hates dad’s girlfriend court order feelings vs evidence radio layoffs iHeart AI air personalities guaranteed human voice tracking pay rant would you rather porn search history mom extra arm vs leg Iraq vs North Korea action figure vs sex doll sex doll of yourself gay or not haunted house sex airplane bathroom mile high club Craig’s Lust Seattle trans wrestling grappling struggle play birthday pegging fantasy cum eating fetish water sports kink mommy daddy dynamic Asian crossdresser bondage humiliation Cadbury cream eggs are disgusting Patreon uncensored video Spotify video support the show

We made it to episode 83 and somehow you freaks are still here, which honestly raises more questions about your childhood than ours.

We start off realizing half this show is about dicks and meat curtains, and the other half is us yelling at you to stop crying about six bucks for uncensored video while you’re out there raw-dogging Starbucks like it’s oxygen.

Jenn’s planning an all‑inclusive Mexico trip, finds out via DNA test that she is weapon‑grade white, and immediately gets demoted to “Whitey”.

We rip on another podcasts host and his extremely shiny head, talk about meteors blowing up over Cleveland, middle schoolers stabbing people, kids wrecking cars and hiding air fryer parts, oh and old ladies in Depends still getting moist with a little help from everyones friend, lube

We’ve also got your demented comments, damn problems about deepfake porn, and wrap it all up with a game of “Bass Akwards Songs” to help wipe your brain clean of everything you just heard.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

👕 If you want to support this circus instead of another personality‑disorder latte, go grab the new hat and whatever unholy shirt Mikey finally gets approved at: https://www.nottds.com/store/

📩 Got a story so cursed your therapist would quit? Send your anonymous chaos, cheating, crimes, and moral violations here and let us ruin our own day with it: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2

⭐ Follow the show, smash subscribe, and leave a review so the algorithm knows you prefer loud, broken humans over safe, beige podcasts: https://linktr.ee/nottds

🎥 You want uncensored video, drunk faces, and all the shit we literally can’t say on normal feeds? Hit the Patreon or watch the video version on Spotify: https://www.patreon.com/NOTThatDamnShow

Not That Damn Show episode 83 Americas loudest podcast Dick’s Sporting Goods joke meat curtains joke Patreon video 5.99 subscription 74 cents an episode Riviera Maya all inclusive trip Mexico resort Cancun white sand beaches Florida bears in parking lot iguanas in Mexico iguana pizza Easter dog turd eggs pagan Easter sex deviled eggs new NTDS hat merch stoned sperm shirt idea Jen DNA test Nordic Italian German Estonian whitest person alive Rob show food news paper crinkling bad podcast production band Grave Mistake Dream About Home Till Seven Roseville Opera House karaoke song dispenser Taylor Swift karaoke Depends are moist nursing home lube everyones friend Lou Cadillac dent teen driver air fryer tray missing kids waste water Capri Sun empty boxes everywhere video game disc left out meteor over Cleveland daylight fireball sonic boom spring break Florida soliciting a minor case dismemberment pig pen remains Sacramento meat truck fire Highway 50 Business 80 closed 12 year old school stabbing Walton County attempted murder public school safety deepfake porn HR office slut video Instagram close friends angry PI comment section Niko cruise jokes Cleveland guy boom clip backwards song game Ocean Avenue Crazy Bitch American Idiot It’s My Life In The End Mr Brightside Last Resort Seven Nation Army Jen going to Mexico Nico Week