In this episode of Say it with Your Chest, Gbemi and Toolz tackle the age old question: Is intimacy about pleasure or performance? They explore the pressure to perform in bed, how society influences our expectations, and why mutual pleasure should be the main focus. With a candid discussion about communication, intimacy, and even a few fun "This or That" questions from Instagram followers, this episode is an honest conversation about how to truly enjoy intimacy with your partner.

Join Gbemi and Toolz as they break down the myths around performance anxiety and reveal how communication and connection are the real keys to a fulfilling intimate life. Plus, learn about Durex products designed to boost pleasure and confidence in the bedroom.

Tune in, #Sayitwithyourchest and let’s talk intimacy the right way!

00:00 - Intro
02:45 - Is Intimacy About Pleasure or Performance?
07:30 - Performance Pressure: The Societal Expectations
13:00 - Men vs. Women: Who Faces More Pressure?
17:45 - Fake It 'Til You Make It?
22:30 - Pressure vs. Pleasure
27:00 - This or That? Fun Listener Questions
32:15 - Durex Product Spotlight
36:00 - Closing Thoughts

In this special episode of Offair Air with Durex, Gbemi and Toolz are joined by the incredible Chidera aka Slumflower, a Sunday Times best-selling author, as they dive into the art of speaking your mind and owning your desires in relationships. With unfiltered honesty, they discuss how to confidently express your needs, especially when it comes to intimacy, and why it’s so important for both men and women to #SayItWithYourChest

Slumflower takes us through her journey as a dominatrix, sharing valuable insights on power dynamics, and how she navigates dominance and submission in a healthy and consensual way. Plus, get the inside scoop on her experiences in relationships and how to communicate what turns you on without fear, shame, or hesitation.

In partnership with Durex, this episode explores mutual pleasure, sexual confidence, and how both partners can truly understand each other’s needs in and out of the bedroom.

00:00 - Introduction: What Does It Mean to 'Say It With Your Chest'?
03:30 - Meet Slumflower: From Best-Selling Author to Dominatrix
07:00 - The Importance of Confidence in Communication
12:20 - Navigating Power Dynamics in Relationships
16:50 - Saying What You Want in Bed: How to Communicate Your Needs
22:00 - The Psychology of Men’s Submissive Tendencies
28:15 - Confidence, Consent, and Comfort: The Key to Great Sex
33:00 - Breaking Down Cultural Barriers: Owning Your Pleasure in Nigerian Society
39:30 - Sexual Exploration: How to 'Train' Your Partner (In a Fun Way)
44:00 - The Role of Praise: Why Men Love to Be Called 'Good Boy'
49:20 - Slumflower’s Take on Dominance, Submissiveness, and Consent
54:00 - A Conversation on Mutual Pleasure: Durex’s Role in Sexual Confidence
58:30 - Closing Thoughts: Speak Up, Own Your Desires, and Say It With Your Chest

In this episode of Say It With Your Chest, an OffAir mini-series brought to you by Durex, we talk intimacy, communication, confidence, protection, and the unspoken rules shaped by culture and judgement.

From women carrying condoms to awkward pharmacy moments, playlists, compliments, and why silence kills the vibe. Nothing is off-limits.

Join the conversation in the comments 👇
#SayItWithYourChest

Proudly powered by Durex.

00:00 – If I were president… more money, less traffic, better sex
02:08 – Who really sets the rules in the bedroom?
07:06 – Why society assumes men should lead sexually
11:46 – Silence, fear & the pressure on women
18:36 – Women carrying condoms: smart or scandalous?
24:19 – Pharmacy judgement, church leaflets & shame culture
32:14 – Should intimacy rules be discussed earlier?
40:18 – Compliments, playlists & setting the mood
53:44 – Final takeaways: comfort, confidence & consent