Ask Rachel anything

This episode will change how you see “bad behaviour” and might just change how you see yourself, too.

In this powerful conversation, with Dr Jody Carrington, we unpack what every parent and teacher needs to know about emotional regulation – and why you’re probably doing better than you think.

It fits perfectly with the lessons I've been learning as the mother of a badly injured daughter who needs me to stay strong while she gets back on her feet. You can read all about it by clicking here

In this episode, we cover:

1. What emotional regulation really is
   • The “flipped lid” model and the role of the prefrontal cortex
   • Why kids don’t “lose their goodness” – they just lose access to it
2. Why your regulation matters more than any parenting hack
   • “If the big people aren’t okay, the little people don’t stand a chance”
   • How our phones, watches and constant comparison are quietly dysregulating us
3. Behavior, consequences and connection
   • Why a strict rewards-and-punishments model backfires
   • The shift from “What’s wrong with this child?” to “What happened to this child?”
4. Repair: the real superpower in families and classrooms
   • Why the best predictor of lasting relationships is the capacity to repair
   • How to apologise to your child (and your partner) in ways that actually heal
5. Practical tools you can use today
   • The phrases “Tell me more” and “What’s the hardest part?”
   • The “collect before you direct” principle
   • Everyday connection habits: eyes, car rides, bedtime, food, and shared interests
6. Hope for worried, exhausted parents
   • Why kids should be “worst” with you (and why that’s a good sign)
   • The 30% rule that lets you drop the perfectionism and keep going.

Dr Jody Carrington:

https://www.drjodycarrington.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episode on Substack:

My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

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Ask Rachel anything

Who doesn't want a simple answer to their problems? In all honesty I often hope to find one, but it's not really feasible when parenting teenagers. I love talking with experts who give us terrific advice - such as Dr Naomi Fisher and Dr Dominique Thompson - but when it comes to the messy job of parenting it can feel way more complicated in day to day life than we would hope.

In this conversation Katherine Radice and Rachel Richards discuss the messy realities; from school being unbearable for our teen to when a group chat turns into a pile-on.

We share practical ways to listen without panicking, work with schools, and help young people slow down, make mistakes, and grow.

School refusal and taking a pause — Understand why listening to your teenager matters, how to weigh school milestones against their wellbeing, and how to explore alternatives without closing the door on returning.

Making parent–school meetings more productive — Learn how sharing key information ahead of time and approaching staff collaboratively can help you understand what support the school can realistically offer.

Recognizing when a difficult patch needs action — Spot signs that a problem may be affecting your child more deeply, such as withdrawal or changes in their health, and see why keeping a factual log can help identify patterns.

Handling group chats, online conflict, and cancel culture — Get ideas for helping teens pause before replying, avoid escalating online drama, and disagree with someone’s views without attacking their identity.

Building resilience through mistakes, shame, and changing views — Explore ways to model openness about difficult feelings, help teens see how they’ve grown, and encourage curiosity and understanding across differences.

Episode on bullying teens

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episode on Substack:

My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook

Ask Rachel anything

What’s behind a teenager’s struggle to get to school—and how can parents help without turning every morning into a battle? In this episode, journalist and host Rachel Richards talks with clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Fisher, author of The Teenagers’ Guide to Taking Control of Your Education, about school avoidance, burnout, demand avoidance, and the questions parents often have about autism and ADHD.

Drawing on her own experience of struggling at school and decades of work with young people and families, Naomi challenges us to look beyond labels and ask what a teen is experiencing, what support they need, and how parents can work alongside them. They also explore the importance of connection, curiosity, and making room for young people to take an active role in their learning.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

1. What may be behind school avoidance—and how to look for specific school-day stressors rather than assuming a child is simply refusing.
2. How to work with your teen, not against them, while still acknowledging that education needs to happen.
3. What burnout can look like and why stepping back may help some teenagers recover.
4. How to think about demand avoidance and autism or ADHD diagnoses without letting labels replace curiosity about what a young person needs.
5. Why following a teen’s interests and repairing your connection matter—especially when school has become a source of conflict.

For more detailed notes and help on this go to my Fearless Parenting Substack

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.

Find all the tips from the episode on Substack:

My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me

Instagram
Facebook