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Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast

Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast

Written by: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola
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About this listen

 Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Educator, Researcher, & Survivor. She has been an advocate since the age of 19, passionate about protecting children from abuse. Yet, even as a therapist, she didn't see the signs in her own relationship. How do we, as protective parents, support our children harmed by the coercive controller (aka Narcissistic Abuser)? Dr. Cocchiola's expertise provides the framework for supporting protective parents as they navigate parenting children harmed by the coercive controller. Protective parents can show their children a path to freedom.Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola
Episodes
  • The Unthinkable: A Child’s View of Coercive Control with David Challen

    The Unthinkable: A Child’s View of Coercive Control with David Challen
    Jan 2 2026
    In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by David Challen, author of The Unthinkable, who shares his experience growing up as a child inside a coercively controlling family system. David offers a rare and powerful perspective on coercive control through the eyes of a child—long before there was language to describe abuse, and long before systems were willing to see it.This conversation explores how coercive control creates an atmosphere of fear, vigilance, humiliation, and emotional captivity within families, even when there is no visible violence. David reflects on the early intuition that something was wrong, the “rot in the house” that others could not see, and how children normalize danger in order to survive. Together, we examine the intergenerational harm caused by coercive control and why children are not passive witnesses, but co-victims.What we coverWhat coercive control looks and feels like through the eyes of a childHow children sense danger, imbalance, and domination long before abuse is namedThe normalization of mockery, humiliation, fear, and emotional subservience within familiesWhy coercive control is not “hidden abuse,” but a trajectory of escalating harmHow long-term psychological domination strips autonomy, identity, and safety over timeThe concept of “systemic degradation” and how victims are worn down across years or decadesWhy victim retaliation is often misunderstood, mislabeled, and criminalizedThe long-term impact on adult child survivors and protective parentsWhy listen If you are a survivor, protective parent, adult child survivor, clinician, or legal professional, this episode offers critical insight into how coercive control operates inside families and why children are deeply affected—even when abuse is not outwardly visible. This conversation brings clarity to experiences that are often minimized, misunderstood, or dismissed, and highlights why coercive control must be recognized as the foundation of all abuse.Guest bio (short) David Challen is an author, speaker, and campaigner on domestic abuse and coercive control. He is the author of The Unthinkable, which tells the story of growing up in a coercively controlled household and the devastating impact of long-term psychological abuse on children and families. David is a prominent advocate for greater recognition of coercive control and has spoken widely about intergenerational harm, survivor justice, and systemic failure.Connect David Challen:Instagram: https://l1nq.com/davidinstagramTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@davidchallen?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pcLearn more about David: https://www.eida.org.uk/davids-storyWebsite: https://l1nq.com/davidchallenwebsiteThe Unthinkable: https://www.hachette.co.uk/titles/david-challen/the-unthinkable/9781914240263/Connect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest David Challen
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    39 mins
  • Coercive Control, Validation, and Power: How Aimee Says Supports Survivors with Anne Wintemute

    Coercive Control, Validation, and Power: How Aimee Says Supports Survivors with Anne Wintemute
    Dec 19 2025
    In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Anne Wintemute, co-creator of Aimee Says, an innovative AI platform designed specifically to support victims and survivors of coercive control. Aimee Says helps survivors understand abusive communication patterns, validate their lived experiences, and assist with documentation—particularly in high-stakes situations such as custody and family court.We explore why victims and survivors are not harmed because of character flaws, but because abusers intentionally target people who are kind, empathic, agreeable, and giving. Anne explains how Aimee Says was built around expertise in coercive control, narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, and power-and-control dynamics—and why that specialization matters.What we coverWhat Aimee Says is and how it supports survivors of coercive controlWhy validation and being truly heard are foundational to healing and decision-makingHow Aimee helps identify gaslighting, financial abuse, intimidation, and coercive patternsUsing Aimee Says to support documentation, journaling, and preparation for legal processesKey differences between Aimee Says and general AI tools, including safety, trauma-informed guardrails, and survivor-centered designPrivacy, confidentiality, and safety considerations for survivors navigating digital toolsHow tools like Aimee Says can reduce isolation and help restore agency and clarityWhy listenIf you are a survivor, protective parent, clinician, attorney, or advocate, this episode offers a grounded, accessible explanation of how coercive control operates and why survivors so often feel confused, minimized, or silenced. You’ll also learn how thoughtfully designed tools can help survivors feel validated, supported, and better equipped to navigate complex systems.Guest bio (short)Anne Wintemute is the co-creator of Aimee Says, an AI-powered platform developed to support victims and survivors of coercive control through validation, pattern recognition, and trauma-informed guidance. Her work focuses on increasing access to expert-level support while prioritizing survivor safety, autonomy, and confidentiality.Learn more about Anne Wintemute and Aimee Says:Anne Wintemute on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-wintemute-897077106Canvas Rebel interview: https://canvasrebel.com/meet-anne-wintemute/Aimee Says – Our Story: https://www.aimeesays.com/storyConnect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Anne Wintemute
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    35 mins
  • Coercion, Cult dynamics & Survival with Sarma Melngailis

    Coercion, Cult dynamics & Survival with Sarma Melngailis
    Dec 10 2025

    In this episode of Perfect Prey, I speak with Sarma Melngailis, author of The Girl with the Duck Tattoo and the central figure in the documentary Bad Vegan. Sarma shares her lived experience of sustained psychological coercion, how it felt to be worn down and re-anchored in someone else’s reality, and what the recovery process looks like after a relationship that functioned much like a one-on-one cult.


    What we cover

    • How coercive control can operate like psychological warfare and the tactics that make it feel impossible to leave.

    • Why intelligent, accomplished people can become victims: the slow wearing down, mirroring, and exploitation of hopes and vulnerabilities.

    • The parallels between cult dynamics and one-on-one coercive relationships—why isolation and repeated micro-assaults change perception and decision-making.

    • The aftermath: public shame, misrepresentation in media, and the ongoing work of reclaiming agency, safety, and reputation.

    • Practical reflections for survivors and protective parents: how to notice red flags early, the power of sitting with your intuition, and how healing helps rebuild boundaries and clarity.

    Why listen Sarma’s story illustrates that coercive control is not about intelligence or credentials — it’s about a strategic, multifaceted assault on agency and reality. Whether you are a survivor, a caregiver, a clinician, or someone trying to understand how otherwise kind and competent people get trapped, this episode names the mechanisms, normalizes survivors’ reactions, and offers concrete ideas for protection and recovery.


    Guest bio (short) Sarma Melngailis is the author of The Girl with the Duck Tattoo and the subject of the documentary Bad Vegan. She writes and speaks about her experience of coercive control and its aftermath, helping others recognize the subtle, insidious tactics used by predatory partners.


    Connect with Sarma Melngailis:

    • Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarmamelngailis

    • IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarmamelngailis

    • Linktree: https://linktr.ee/sarmamelngailis?utm_source=linktree_profile_share

    • Books: https://l1nk.dev/Sarma-Melngailis-Books

    Connect with Dr. Christine:

    • Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/

    • Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

    • Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos

    • Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol

    • IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/

    • TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s

    • Books: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook

      • https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay


    If this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.


    — Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Sarma Melngailis
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    49 mins
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