I felt like I was diagnosing everyone around me. Then, when ADHD was obvious for me, I argued with my doctor that she was wrong, from a Taco Bell parking lot.

In this episode of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here, I share the story of my adult ADHD diagnosis. It covers the signs I explained away for decades, the motherhood season that finally cracked my coping system, and the sweaty, slightly ridiculous moment I heard the words “ADHD, combined type.”

If you were the smart kid who “just needed to apply herself,” the mom everyone calls “so organized,” or the high achiever running on empty, this one’s for you.

In this episode:

• Why so many women are diagnosed with ADHD for the first time as adults, often after having kids
• How I blamed my struggles on having two boys 22 months apart
• Masking: when “you’re so organized” is really a coping skill in a nice outfit
• What hyperactivity can look like in girls (hint: it’s not always bouncing off the walls)
• Why my hardest college classes became my best semester
• Shutting everyone out and “trying harder”: the loop so many capable moms get stuck in
• What a diagnosis did (and didn’t) change, and the medication benefit I didn’t expect: emotional regulation

The takeaway: Sometimes your coping skills are so good, they hide the very thing you’re coping with.

Chapters:
00:00 How I ended up in a Taco Bell parking lot
01:35 Every career comes with its own hypochondria
02:35 The ADHD stereotype I believed
04:45 The compliments that were actually coping skills
05:45 Two under two and the pressure nobody talks about
08:35 Shutting everyone out and “trying harder”
09:50 Baby #3 and “How am I here again?”
11:00 My defense attorney era
14:05 The diagnosis
15:50 What changed (and what didn’t)
17:10 The pressure underneath it all
18:05 It’s not just me
19:35 Survival overperformance + where to find me

Share this episode with the friend who’s always told she’s “so organized.” And if you have your own “where were you when you found out” story, send it to me. I’d love to hear it.

Follow Performance Under Pressure so you don’t miss the next chapter of the series, and find me on Instagram at @thenickelcollective for more on survival overperformance.

This episode shares my personal experience and is not medical advice. If you think you may have ADHD, talk with a qualified healthcare provider.

Self-care isn't fixing your mental health. It's just one more thing on your to-do list that you're failing at.

Three kids, the biggest burnout of my life, a stronger marriage, and grad school for mental health counseling. On paper, life was finally good. So why was I crying on my half-bathroom floor?

In this episode of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here, I'm sharing the part of my mental health story I hid from everyone, even my husband. We talk about mom anxiety and depression, the three "punches" that knocked me down (second-guessing, becoming the full-time parent, and an identity crisis), what my first therapy appointment was really like, and why I was so nervous about anti-anxiety medication despite training as a counselor.

If you're a high-achieving mom who looks like she has it all together but secretly feels like she's failing, this one's for you. It's not just you.

In this episode:

• Why self-care can feel like another performance review
• The hidden pressure of being "the one who holds it all together"
• What therapy actually looked like (spoiler: nobody came to take me away)
• Making an informed decision about medication
• Why needing help isn't the failure

Content note: This episode discusses anxiety, depression, and dark thoughts. If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, anytime.

Want an episode on how to get mental health help? DM me on Instagram: @thenickelcollective

Performance Under Pressure is the podcast for high-achieving women navigating ADHD, motherhood, and the invisible pressure of doing it all. New episodes every Monday.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.

Chapters/Estimated Time Stamps:

00:00 Content Note & 988 Resources

00:40 Why Self-Care Wasn't Fixing My Mental Health

01:40 Welcome to Performance Under Pressure

02:10 ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here

03:30 Growing Up When Therapy Wasn't Talked About

05:20 When Life Was Finally "Good on Paper"

06:05 Round 1: The Second-Guessing

06:50 Round 2: Becoming the Full-Time Parent

09:00 Trying to Self-Care My Way Out

09:55 Round 3: The Identity Crisis

11:35 Telling My Husband "I'm Not Okay"

12:45 My First Therapy Appointment

14:35 Why I Was Nervous About Anti-Anxiety Medication

16:05 Leaving Therapy (and Why It Sounds Familiar)

16:55 The Problem: "I Thought I Was Failing at Self-Care"

18:30 The Pressure: Being the One Who Holds It All Together

19:30 It's Not Just You

20:25 The Reframe: Self-Care Was Never a Solo Project

21:10 How to Reach Me + Next Episode

Being really good under pressure isn't a strength. For a lot of us, it's the thing that's slowly breaking us.

Baby #3 is here, and this was supposed to be my breakthrough season. I left the job that was draining me, launched my own business, kept up with grad school during nap times, and pulled off childcare at the very last second. Win after win after win.

So why did everything feel like it was on fire?

In this episode of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here, I'm taking you into the season when I thought I'd finally figured it out. It's also when I realized I had no idea how to operate without pressure. Each last-minute win was teaching my nervous system the same lesson: pressure works. Until the bill came due.

In this episode:

• Why baby #3 was my easiest baby in my hardest season
• What happened when a full-time job stopped holding my ADHD together
• The daycare scramble, the part-time identity crisis, and leaving to start my own business
• How every "win" became more proof that pressure works
• The crash, and my first-ever therapy appointment (while in grad school for counseling, no less)
• Survival Over Performance: why your nervous system stays on edge even when things are going well

If you remember one thing:
Before you count the win, count the cost, because your nervous system is taking notes either way.

Connect with Katie:
📲 Follow along on Instagram: @thenickelcollective
💬 Raising neurodivergent kids? DM me on Instagram if you'd like an episode on how I handled it.

New episodes every Monday. If this one hit home, follow the show and share it with the mom who always "has it handled."

Performance isn't the problem. Pressure is.

EPISODE CHAPTERS

(00:00) Why being good under pressure is breaking you

(02:00) Baby #3: my easiest baby in my hardest season

(03:50) Losing the job that held my ADHD together

(05:30) Part-time work and my identity crisis

(07:00) Leaving to start my own business

(08:00) Grad school during nap times

(08:45) The crash and my first therapy appointment

(10:30) Pressure works… until the bill comes due

(12:40) Why this hits ADHD women so hard

(13:50) The reframe and one takeaway

(14:10) Survival Over Performance + where to find me

I went from feeling like I was on top of the world to watching it end... in nine months. This is that story.

This is the next chapter of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here — and it's not about ADHD symptoms. It's about what happens when being "the fixer" becomes the thing that keeps you stuck.

I unpack two ideas I keep coming back to: The Competence Trap (capable people get handed more, just because they can handle it) and Leadership Gravity (why it's almost impossible to admit you don't want to carry something anymore).

If you're a high-achieving woman with ADHD who's exhausted from proving you can handle everything, this one's for you.

🎧 Subscribe to Performance Under Pressure for weekly conversations on ADHD, burnout, motherhood, and the pressure behind trying to do it all.
💬 DM me on Instagram @thenickelcollective — I read every message myself

🎙️The Competence Trap Episodes: Burnout, Decisiveness,

🎙️Leadership Gravity Episodes: Leaders, Systems, Home, Action

Motherhood is not a discipline problem...it’s a pressure problem.

If you’re an ADHD mom who keeps thinking, I just need to be more organized, more disciplined, more on top of it, this episode will feel uncomfortably familiar and deeply relieving at the same time.

Katie Nickel shares the raw story behind the moment she thought she had motherhood handled, then found herself pregnant with baby number two, drowning in two daycare bills, two kids in diapers, a shifting job situation, and a life that looked fine from the outside but was cracking underneath.

What starts as a personal origin story becomes a powerful reframe for every woman who has ever blamed herself for not being able to hold everything together.

You’ll discover:

• Why “just try harder” is the wrong fix for ADHD moms
• How pressure, not laziness, can quietly break down your entire system
• What happens when control turns into survival mode
• Why over-preparing, hyper-focusing, and self-blame often show up as coping strategies
• How Katie began shifting from forcing a perfect version of motherhood to building a more sustainable one

Katie also gets honest about the emotional cost of carrying the role of good mom, good wife, good friend, good sister, good daughter, good neighbor, and good professional all at once.

The result is a story about exhaustion, identity, and the moment when “doing everything right” still isn’t enough.

If you’ve ever cried in the bathroom, spiraled over a missed detail, or wondered why motherhood feels harder than it should, this episode will help you feel seen. It’s an essential listen for high-achieving moms, especially those navigating ADHD, burnout, and the pressure to keep performing when what you really need is relief.

Episode 3 Spotify and Apple.

Find out more about sustainable systems here.

Follow the show on instagram with The Nickel Collective

Follow on Instagram @thenickelcollective

For more information on Sustainable Systems visit the website.

I became a mom before I knew I had ADHD—and from the outside, I looked like I was handling it just fine.

Welcome to the first episode of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here, where I’m telling the real story of becoming a mom, raising three kids, experiencing burnout, and eventually discovering I had ADHD.

In this episode, I’m going all the way back to becoming a mom for the first time. At the time, I didn't know anything about adult ADHD, executive dysfunction, or why some parts of motherhood seemed to require so much more effort from me than they should.

I just thought I needed to try harder.

I was working. I was parenting. I was managing life. And I was really good at making it look like I had everything under control.

But becoming a mom was the beginning of a much bigger story—one that would eventually lead to worsening ADHD symptoms, postpartum struggles, burnout, and a complete reset of how I approached my life.

In this episode:

• Becoming a mom before my ADHD diagnosis

• The early signs of ADHD I didn't recognize

• What motherhood looked like from the outside vs. what it felt like internally

• The pressure to keep performing and keep everything together

• Why I thought I simply needed to try harder

• The beginning of my journey toward understanding my brain differently

If you're a mom with ADHD—or a mom wondering why motherhood feels harder than it seems like it should—start here.

This is how I got here.

Starting over rarely feels like joy. Usually it feels like failure... Failure to stick with something, failure to pivot, failure to rise to the challenge. This week, Katie walks through her own three-day arc from defeat to regret to excitement over a decision to start over, and traces it back to something that happened this summer: 12 days spent searching for her missing dog, Priscilla, in the middle of a family Disney trip.

And through all of it, nothing fell apart, the kids were taken care of, clients were taken care of, life looked normal from the outside. But it cracked open something Katie had been avoiding: Sustainable Systems was built for the wrong person.

In this episode, Katie shares:

• The full story of Priscilla going missing for 12 days and how she found her

• Why "the program is awesome, the audience was wrong" was the real problem all along

• The repositioning of Sustainable Systems away from "high-achieving women reclaiming 10 hours a week" and toward the audience it was always meant for

• What it actually feels like when starting over comes from clarity instead of pressure

Little is changing about the podcast. Big changes are coming to Sustainable Systems and to Katie's content this episode is where it starts.

If this episode speaks to you, DM Katie on Instagram @thenickelcollective

Subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode.

A quick and honest note before the break.

Twenty episodes in, Katie is taking two intentional weeks away from the podcast — not because something went wrong, but because something is going right. She's pausing to look at what's worked, do research she's genuinely excited about, and work on something bigger that she can't wait to announce.

This is not burnout. This is the thing she keeps telling you to do.

Back in two weeks. Stronger. With something worth coming back for.

Stay connected with Katie on Instagram here

Visit the website for more information here

In the meantime — leave a review if this show has been worth your time. Five stars if you mean it. It keeps the show visible while Katie is heads down.

Topics: podcast break, Performance Under Pressure update, The Nickel Collective, Katie Nickel