I felt like I was diagnosing everyone around me. Then, when ADHD was obvious for me, I argued with my doctor that she was wrong, from a Taco Bell parking lot.

In this episode of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here, I share the story of my adult ADHD diagnosis. It covers the signs I explained away for decades, the motherhood season that finally cracked my coping system, and the sweaty, slightly ridiculous moment I heard the words “ADHD, combined type.”

If you were the smart kid who “just needed to apply herself,” the mom everyone calls “so organized,” or the high achiever running on empty, this one’s for you.

In this episode:

• Why so many women are diagnosed with ADHD for the first time as adults, often after having kids
• How I blamed my struggles on having two boys 22 months apart
• Masking: when “you’re so organized” is really a coping skill in a nice outfit
• What hyperactivity can look like in girls (hint: it’s not always bouncing off the walls)
• Why my hardest college classes became my best semester
• Shutting everyone out and “trying harder”: the loop so many capable moms get stuck in
• What a diagnosis did (and didn’t) change, and the medication benefit I didn’t expect: emotional regulation

The takeaway: Sometimes your coping skills are so good, they hide the very thing you’re coping with.

Chapters:
00:00 How I ended up in a Taco Bell parking lot
01:35 Every career comes with its own hypochondria
02:35 The ADHD stereotype I believed
04:45 The compliments that were actually coping skills
05:45 Two under two and the pressure nobody talks about
08:35 Shutting everyone out and “trying harder”
09:50 Baby #3 and “How am I here again?”
11:00 My defense attorney era
14:05 The diagnosis
15:50 What changed (and what didn’t)
17:10 The pressure underneath it all
18:05 It’s not just me
19:35 Survival overperformance + where to find me

Share this episode with the friend who’s always told she’s “so organized.” And if you have your own “where were you when you found out” story, send it to me. I’d love to hear it.

Follow Performance Under Pressure so you don’t miss the next chapter of the series, and find me on Instagram at @thenickelcollective for more on survival overperformance.

This episode shares my personal experience and is not medical advice. If you think you may have ADHD, talk with a qualified healthcare provider.

Self-care isn't fixing your mental health. It's just one more thing on your to-do list that you're failing at.

Three kids, the biggest burnout of my life, a stronger marriage, and grad school for mental health counseling. On paper, life was finally good. So why was I crying on my half-bathroom floor?

In this episode of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here, I'm sharing the part of my mental health story I hid from everyone, even my husband. We talk about mom anxiety and depression, the three "punches" that knocked me down (second-guessing, becoming the full-time parent, and an identity crisis), what my first therapy appointment was really like, and why I was so nervous about anti-anxiety medication despite training as a counselor.

If you're a high-achieving mom who looks like she has it all together but secretly feels like she's failing, this one's for you. It's not just you.

In this episode:

• Why self-care can feel like another performance review
• The hidden pressure of being "the one who holds it all together"
• What therapy actually looked like (spoiler: nobody came to take me away)
• Making an informed decision about medication
• Why needing help isn't the failure

Content note: This episode discusses anxiety, depression, and dark thoughts. If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, anytime.

Want an episode on how to get mental health help? DM me on Instagram: @thenickelcollective

Performance Under Pressure is the podcast for high-achieving women navigating ADHD, motherhood, and the invisible pressure of doing it all. New episodes every Monday.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.

Chapters/Estimated Time Stamps:

00:00 Content Note & 988 Resources

00:40 Why Self-Care Wasn't Fixing My Mental Health

01:40 Welcome to Performance Under Pressure

02:10 ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here

03:30 Growing Up When Therapy Wasn't Talked About

05:20 When Life Was Finally "Good on Paper"

06:05 Round 1: The Second-Guessing

06:50 Round 2: Becoming the Full-Time Parent

09:00 Trying to Self-Care My Way Out

09:55 Round 3: The Identity Crisis

11:35 Telling My Husband "I'm Not Okay"

12:45 My First Therapy Appointment

14:35 Why I Was Nervous About Anti-Anxiety Medication

16:05 Leaving Therapy (and Why It Sounds Familiar)

16:55 The Problem: "I Thought I Was Failing at Self-Care"

18:30 The Pressure: Being the One Who Holds It All Together

19:30 It's Not Just You

20:25 The Reframe: Self-Care Was Never a Solo Project

21:10 How to Reach Me + Next Episode

Being really good under pressure isn't a strength. For a lot of us, it's the thing that's slowly breaking us.

Baby #3 is here, and this was supposed to be my breakthrough season. I left the job that was draining me, launched my own business, kept up with grad school during nap times, and pulled off childcare at the very last second. Win after win after win.

So why did everything feel like it was on fire?

In this episode of ADHD & Motherhood: How I Got Here, I'm taking you into the season when I thought I'd finally figured it out. It's also when I realized I had no idea how to operate without pressure. Each last-minute win was teaching my nervous system the same lesson: pressure works. Until the bill came due.

In this episode:

• Why baby #3 was my easiest baby in my hardest season
• What happened when a full-time job stopped holding my ADHD together
• The daycare scramble, the part-time identity crisis, and leaving to start my own business
• How every "win" became more proof that pressure works
• The crash, and my first-ever therapy appointment (while in grad school for counseling, no less)
• Survival Over Performance: why your nervous system stays on edge even when things are going well

If you remember one thing:
Before you count the win, count the cost, because your nervous system is taking notes either way.

Connect with Katie:
📲 Follow along on Instagram: @thenickelcollective
💬 Raising neurodivergent kids? DM me on Instagram if you'd like an episode on how I handled it.

New episodes every Monday. If this one hit home, follow the show and share it with the mom who always "has it handled."

Performance isn't the problem. Pressure is.

EPISODE CHAPTERS

(00:00) Why being good under pressure is breaking you

(02:00) Baby #3: my easiest baby in my hardest season

(03:50) Losing the job that held my ADHD together

(05:30) Part-time work and my identity crisis

(07:00) Leaving to start my own business

(08:00) Grad school during nap times

(08:45) The crash and my first therapy appointment

(10:30) Pressure works… until the bill comes due

(12:40) Why this hits ADHD women so hard

(13:50) The reframe and one takeaway

(14:10) Survival Over Performance + where to find me