What happens when being a “good” wife, mother, daughter, and friend has always meant putting yourself last? On today’s deeply honest and enlightening episode of Pursue YOU, Pat Smith sits down with her longtime friend Mariana Devereaux for an honest conversation about perfectionism, self-sacrifice, motherhood, health, forgiveness, friendship, and learning to care for yourself without guilt. Mariana opens up about the beliefs she inherited around serving others, the pressure to appear perfectly put together, and the realization that “being good” had quietly become tied to doing everything for everyone else. She also shares her decades-long struggle with bulimia, the family patterns that shaped her relationship with her body, and the slow process of learning to approach health from a different place. Together, Pat and Mariana explore menopause, sleep, boundaries, gratitude, aging, and what it means to enter a season where your children are grown but the guilt of choosing yourself can remain. Their conversation also turns deeply personal as Pat admits why she tends to isolate when she is struggling and the two reflect on the accountability, forgiveness, and grace that have sustained their friendship for more than 25 years. KEY POINTS 00:00 — Introduction: Learning to serve yourself after years of serving everyone else. 03:00 — Letting go of perfection and choosing balance. 06:44 — How family and culture shaped Mariana’s instinct to put others first. 10:17 — Why guilt can linger even after your children are grown. 12:45 — Forgiveness, family wounds, and the power of acknowledgment. 19:01 — Mariana’s pivot from fashion and styling into health & wellness. 27:24 — Mariana opens up about her 20-year struggle with bulimia. 34:30 — Pat shares her experience with menopause and asking for help. 52:26 — What long-term friendship requires: honesty, grace, and accountability. 59:12 — Pat on learning to stop defending herself and own her mistakes. 1:01:33 — How losing her sister changed the way Pat thinks about resentment. QUOTES “It’s not about being perfect; it’s about balance.” — Mariana Devereaux “I used to get so defensive when I did things wrong. I didn’t want to be wrong.” — Pat Smith “I still have a little guilt that sometimes creeps up on my shoulder that I should still be doing more for everybody else.” — Mariana Devereaux GUEST RESOURCES Mariana Devereaux M.Ed. Licensed in Nutrition & Health Website | morewithmari.com/ Health & Wellness coach 214~729~5529 IG | @morewithmari25 RESOURCES Pat Smith IG | @patsmithty PURSUE YOU is produced by EPYC Media Network
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24 mins