Authorities have finally caught international terrorist Charles Rane (Bruce Payne). The best thing to do is book him on a nice first-class flight to L.A. Seems like this guy needs a steak and a fun in-flight film. John Cutter (Wesley Snipes) has just accepted a new position in an anti-terrorism unit, and he is undercover on this flight. So, inevitably when this all goes bonkers quickly, Cutter will be on the case. He will also bicker with Marti (Alex Datcher) while terrorism runs rampant. It’s all about priorities. Sly Delvecchio (Tom Sizemore) looms in the background. RTS deboards the plane and immediately heads to the fairgrounds with Elizabeth Hurley. Let’s win her an oversized stuffed animal. Jeremy has a corndog and some funnel cake on a Ferris wheel. If there’s room, he might have a beer and a bratwurst later. La-Mar makes sure to order his airline sirloin bloody. It becomes questionable. Brendt goes reverse-Commando on a plane. He also updates his turquoise earring collection. Do you think most of this film will be on a plane? You’ll be betting on red if that is the case.

A gang of hoodlums is being led by the infamous Night Slasher (Brian Thompson). They all seem directionless in their crime plans. There are a lot of axes clinking to signify their unity. Kind of a weird scene here. Nevertheless, there is only one man who can save this city – maybe even the nation, Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone). “Call the Cobra.” If you’ve seen this guy cut a slice of pizza with some scissors, then you know what is needed. Now, Cobra must protect a witness, Ingrid (Brigitte Nielsen) to end the crimes. All the crimes! Along the way, you will learn where the law stops and Cobra starts. He’ll even tell people that! RTS learns that Cobra doesn’t like lousy shots, diseases, profanity in public or poor manners. Respect! La-Mar goes on many candy runs with Cobra’s partner, Gonzales (Reni Santoni). We’re going to get some Whatchamacallits and ZAGNUTs up in here. Collin starts constructing a little book of puns and snappy one-liners. Cobra pays him handsomely for this work. Do these baddies even have a plan? The answer to that is no. We’ll see you all at the fire factory.

This film was shot in 1984. When it was retrieved, there was no sound or script. Vinegar Syndrome found this film and put it back together. A new cast has dubbed this film, and this was then released in 2021. What we are given as an audience is pure New York Ninja awesomeness! RTS even takes a field trip to view this one. John Liu (played by John Liu and dubbed by Don Wilson) is just a fella living his life. A bunch of street thugs kill his pregnant wife, and then John becomes sad. Very forlorn! Only one thing to do! Become a ninja and seek vengeance upon all criminals in New York. Good thing because The Plutonium Killer (voiced by Michael Berryman) is melting people (and himself), women are being abducted and fear is sweeping through New York. Along the way, John will befriend a kid and unify a city with their love of the ninja! RTS appreciates monogrammed throwing stars. We need to update our merch. Jeremy tosses powder bags into everyone’s face – guilty or not! BAM! Powder bag! Collin picks up roller-skating based on this film. We didn’t see that coming. And you won’t see a ninja in white coming either! That’s just a cloud.

A sweet, elderly gentleman, David Lo Pan (James Hong), simply wants a date. He has a reasonable kink, green eyes. People laugh at him. Can’t a (evil sorcerer) romantic find happiness? Meanwhile, Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) hangs out with his friend Wang (Dennis Dun) for a long night of drinking and an early airport run. Wang loses his love. Jack also loses his love, his truck. So much trouble! Is this story more about Chinese mysticism and world ending consequences or an old man’s attempt at love? RTS learns that there might not be an “off switch” on the Lo Pan lamp. It’s a thing! Jeremy saddles up and rustles up a “firm” howdy to Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall). La-Mar samples the cuisine over at Uncle Chu’s (Chao Li Chi). Positive reviews! Collin teams up with Egg Shen (Victor Wong) and uses five out of the six demons in the bag. You better watch out; he’s got one left for you! Brent brews and serves some gourd juice. You will now become smoke and dream. It will get, um, interesting. Check out this amazing John Carpenter flick! You need to remember that “you were not brought upon this world to ‘get it’” and listen to the Porkchop Express. Green flames!

Easter is upon us! Everybody, run! Cole Hillman (Rory Calhoun) is getting sick and tired of bunnies (yes, cute and amazing bunnies) digging up his ranch. He is directed to get some help from a researcher at the local college. When researcher Roy Bennett (Stuart Whitman) isn’t harassing bats in a cage, he’s injecting rabbits with serums. Crazy serums! Things go wrong, and, now, these mutated rabbits are large and in charge! Roy’s wife, Gerry (Janet Leigh), at least has a road flare for defense. RTS befriends all the rabbits. It was destiny! Mike somehow got lepused! Jeremy hangs out with captain Billy in a fun shack. La-Mar plans to “blow three holes” with the help of Elgin Clark (DeForest Kelley). It’s the only way to get the job done! Collin creates an electric train track trap. It’s like Mouse Trap but for giant, angry buns. Don’t let the mutant Lepus get you this Easter. Make it more about hidden egg scavenger hunts and marshmallow and chocolate goodies.

Frank Devereaux (Terry O’Quinn) loves betting on stuff. Don’t really know why and with what funds, but he’s dug himself into a debt hole. Now, a bunch of drug dealing Reno bad guys kidnap his son, Billy (Brandon Call), and force Frank to make ground up Smurf dust. Kinda like Gargamel’s Breaking Bad. Enter: Nick Parker (Rutger Hauer). He served in Vietnam with Frank. Nick lost his sight there, but he has been spending his time training as a swordsman. Acorn squash beware! Now, he’s back in the states with his sword cane, and he’s going to knock around plenty of skulls as he rides around on buses with Billy. RTS learns how to clean up your eyebrows and neck beard with a gentle swish of a sword. Jeremy electrifies us all with his sparking death hot tub. La-Mar was told that his “butter knife ain’t gonna stop no bullet.” Oddly, it does. It stops many bullets – and it helps butter his bread. Is Bruce Lee’s brother showing up to this?

Danny (Paul Rudd) and Wheeler (Seann William Scott) work together pimping out some sweet energy juice. Danny is in a rut, asks his long-term girlfriend, Beth (Elizabeth Banks), to marry him and completely fails. He then totally freaks out and winds himself and Wheeler into some serious community service/probation time at a big brother program, Sturdy Wings. This program is directed by the amazing Gayle (Jane Lynch). Danny is unenthusiastically thrust into a world of LARPing with Augie (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). Wheeler and Ronnie (Robb’e J. Thompson) learn to bond over shared obsessions. Better than prison, right? Right!? RTS would NEVER BS a BSer. Jeremy demands that everyone “gingerly touch our tips.” La-Mar learns that Monopoly is “based on true events.” Collin observes the hotdog trick. Boop! Compliment a loved one’s “whispering eye” before slumber. Maybe you need a re-role here. Let’s wreck shop in the name of Kiss-My-Anthia!

Barry, Barry. Why ya buggin? Barry Gabrewski (Jonathan Brandis) lives in his fantasies. Although creative, these dreams interfere with his real life. In all of these daydreams, Barry is the sidekick to Chuck Norris. Seems like some normal stuff there. Because of this, Barry has a hard time at school. His teacher, Noreen Chan (Julia Nickson), assists Barry and his dad, Jerry (Beau Bridges), and introduces them to her spirited uncle, Mr. Lee (Mako). Lee takes Barry on for Karate instruction, and we are treated to an array of training montages, awkward conversations with Lauren (Danica McKellar) and wild faces from Kelly Stone (Joe Piscopo). RTS discovers that all cures come from kitchen sink potions. Jeremey falls in love with this film and is now actively training in Karate. La-Mar takes his metal nunchucks and chucks everything! Collin will make sure that you “respect the wood.” When we break a bunch of bricks, we’ll make sure they’re on fire! Everyone seems cool with that.