In this bittersweet finale of Real Men Hug, Jim and Ben reflect on the transformative journey of their podcasting adventure. Over the past year, they’ve shared laughs, deep dives into mental health, stories of personal growth, and vulnerable moments of connection—all while modeling authentic friendship and challenging societal norms around masculinity.

This episode is packed with heartfelt reflections and hilarious behind-the-scenes anecdotes, from Ben’s ADHD-fueled doorbell chaos to Jim’s lessons in climbing out of the metaphorical well. They reminisce about highlights like hosting inspiring guests (shoutout to Dr. Matt Zakreski and Jamie and Mahlon from Round Table Mindset!), tackling tough conversations about identity and bitterness, and hearing how the show has made a real impact on listeners’ lives.

While Real Men Hug may be ending, Jim and Ben are both stepping boldly into new seasons of life. Jim shares his plans to build his next business venture, dabble in ASL, and even pen a fantasy story for his kids. Meanwhile, Ben looks forward to deepening his spiritual direction practice, writing creatively, and continuing his health journey.

And don’t miss the surprises after the ending...!

Thank you, listeners, for being part of this journey. Real Men Hug may be signing off, but the love, connection, and authenticity live on.

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In this episode of Real Men Hug, Ben and Jim discuss the controversies surrounding their alma mater, Cornerstone University in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Under the leadership of President Gerson Moreno-Riaño, the university has faced significant challenges, including a faculty vote of no confidence on October 21, 2021, just before his inauguration.* Allegations of resistance to diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts have caused widespread unrest among alumni and students, sparking protests and online calls for reform.** The decision to cut entire departments, like the humanities, and enact mass layoffs has further raised questions about the institution’s direction and commitment to providing a balanced, faith-based education.***

Beyond the campus controversy, Ben and Jim also tackle the broader intersections of politics, faith, and the role of the church in modern society. They reflect on how these institutions can either perpetuate division or act as conduits for unity and justice. Drawing from personal anecdotes and current events, they discuss the challenges of navigating these tensions with authenticity and grace. The conversation delves into the church's responsibility to engage with social and political issues without losing sight of its spiritual mission, as well as how Christians can advocate for inclusivity and truth in polarized times.

This episode challenges listeners to reflect on their personal and collective roles in fostering connection, inclusivity, and positive change, both within their communities and in the broader social and political landscape.

Sources:
*Religion News: Cornerstone University to hold vote of no confidence on incoming president

**The Roys Report: Cornerstone University student protests racial issues under new president

***Current: Cornerstone University fires tenured professors and terminates all humanities programs

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This week, Ben and Jim dive into the nuances of holiday traditions, exploring how we can reclaim joy and reduce stress by celebrating on our own terms. Whether it’s debating the supremacy of cheesy potatoes over green bean casserole or reflecting on the idea of “picking a different day” to celebrate, they bring both humor and heart to the conversation.

Through personal stories and heartfelt reflections, they discuss the tension of navigating family dynamics while staying true to what matters most. Holidays can feel like a time where the expectations never let you down, but Ben and Jim remind us that crafting new traditions is an act of love—for yourself and those you care about.

Whether you’re embracing change or holding on to time-honored rituals, this episode is about finding joy in connection and creating moments that will always stay with you.

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In today’s episode, Ben and Jim dive into the topic of self-perception and how it can sometimes stray far from reality. Whether it’s the inner critic that says we’re not enough or that old friend called self-doubt, they unpack how self-perception can skew our understanding of who we truly are.

Topics covered:

• Ben and Jim’s College Days: Reflecting on perceptions of confidence and the hidden inner doubts.
• Family and Self-Worth: Jim opens up about the struggle of feeling like he’s not “providing enough” and how that affects his view of himself as a husband and father.
• Facing Inner Lies: Discussing how easy it is to believe negative thoughts about ourselves, even when they’re far from the truth.
• Insights from Amy Morin’s Book: Jim shares takeaways from 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do and how it’s helping him reframe self-perception.
• Encouragement for Listeners: The importance of listening to the positive affirmations from friends and family, instead of believing the lies our minds can tell us.

Tune in as Ben and Jim explore how to break free from self-limiting beliefs and embrace the love and encouragement of those around us. As always, remember: Real Men Hug, and sometimes they just need to hear they’re doing better than they think.

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In this episode, Ben and Jim explore the balance between medication, meaningful connections, and long-term health. They discuss how pills can be a temporary bridge toward healthier habits but shouldn’t replace physical activity and relationships. Ben shares personal stories about his own weight loss journey, the mental and physical connection, and the power of forgiveness in healing. Whether you’re starting your journey or seeking sustainability, this episode reminds us that we’re all walking the path to better health together.

Takeaways:

• Medication can be part of the process, but it’s important to include physical activity and community in your wellness journey.
• Forgiveness and letting go of resentment can lead to significant improvements in physical health.
• You don’t have to go at it alone—lean on friends, family, and even online communities to stay motivated.

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In this episode of Real Men Hug, hosts Jim and Ben take a deep dive into the concept of empathy, highlighting the crucial difference between empathy and sympathy. While sympathy involves feeling for someone, empathy goes a step further by sharing and bearing the weight of someone else’s burdens. Through personal stories, such as Ben's journey with health struggles, they explore how empathy can take an emotional toll, especially when it comes to balancing caring for others with caring for oneself.

The discussion touches on both the challenges of empathizing with people in pain and the surprising difficulty of sharing in others' joy. Jim and Ben also share practical ways to demonstrate empathy, such as being a “laundry fairy” and offering meaningful, tangible help.

Key Discussion Points:

• Empathy vs. Sympathy: Why empathy involves a deeper, more emotional connection.
• Empathy in Joy and Sorrow: The difficulty of empathizing with happiness and why pain often feels easier to connect with.
• Setting Boundaries: The importance of balancing your own emotional health while supporting others.
• Practical Empathy: Real-world examples of how small acts of service, like doing laundry or bringing a meal, can make a big difference.

The episode wraps up by underscoring the importance of stepping into people’s lives in a meaningful way, rather than offering vague promises of support.

And hey, if you appreciate what we’re doing here and want to support the show, consider buying us a coffee! Your support helps us keep these conversations going.

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In this 20th episode of Real Men Hug, Ben and Jim explore the multifaceted nature of gratitude. Ben shares his unique perspective from a life spent rubbing elbows with both CEOs and the homeless, offering deep reflections on how gratitude manifests across different walks of life.

The episode dives into the challenges of maintaining gratitude amidst privilege and adversity, with Ben providing thoughtful insights on how to find balance in a world often defined by extremes. Jim brings his own experiences to the table, discussing how a simple Jenga block exercise helped him and his wife rediscover thankfulness during a tough season.

Together, they tackle the obstacles that can hinder gratitude—such as entitlement, indifference, and comparison—and offer practical strategies to cultivate a mindset of thankfulness, no matter your circumstances. This episode is a thoughtful exploration of how gratitude can reshape our perspectives and enhance our lives.

Join Ben and Jim for a rich conversation filled with personal stories, practical advice, and a challenge to reflect on what you’re grateful for in your own life.

And hey, if you appreciate what we’re doing here and want to support the show, consider buying us a coffee! Your support helps us keep these conversations going.

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Moving from What If to What Is: Thriving with ADHD and Other Forms of Neurodiversity (w/ Dr. Matthew Zakreski)

Ben and Jim enjoy a fascinating conversation with the insightful Dr. Matthew Zakreski. Listen in as they delve into the complexities of neurodiversity, focusing on ADHD, academic giftedness, and other neurodivergent conditions. They explore how these differences can shape experiences and offer a unique perspective on thriving in a world that often misunderstands them.

Dr. Matt shares his personal origin story, revealing that he was diagnosed as gifted in second grade and later discovered his ADHD in high school when academic challenges surpassed his innate abilities. He recounts the difficulties he faced, including being bullied and feeling overwhelmed by social-emotional challenges. These experiences fueled his passion for neurodiversity and his desire to help other kids who struggle with similar issues, leading him to become a psychologist and advocate.

Ben and Jim join Dr. Matt in discussing his practical advice on managing ADHD-related anxiety, emphasizing the importance of moving from the uncertainty of "what if" to the actionable "what is." The discussion touches on emotional intensity, the challenges of social media comparison, and the importance of self-care. Dr. Matt provides insights into understanding context as a reason, not an excuse, and how this perspective can foster a more supportive environment for neurodivergent individuals.

They discuss strategies for building supportive systems, proactive outreach, and the value of empathy and understanding from friends and family. The conversation also addresses the role of past trauma in shaping current experiences and the healing power of connection.

Things get about as deep as they ever have as Ben, Jim, and Dr. Matt explore the role of faith in dealing with the challenges of neurodiversity, including finding solace and strength in spiritual practices.

Lastly, they highlight the importance of being a lifeline for others, sharing stories and practical advice on offering support to those navigating the complexities of neurodivergence.

And hey, if you love what you hear, consider supporting the show at buymeacoffee.com/realmenhug. Your contributions keep us going and help us bring you more episodes filled with laughter, insights, and relatable stories. Join us in growing and strengthening our community of real men who aren't afraid to hug it out. Thank you for being a vital part of our journey!

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