Andrew Grazen shares his journey from a seemingly normal childhood into years of addiction, incarceration, and near-death experiences, and how recovery, community, and writing ultimately saved his life. From discovering substances at a young age to overdosing in his car and writing a memoir while incarcerated, Andrew reflects on loss, resilience, and why staying connected—and holding onto hope—can change everything.

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Raised around biker culture, gangs, and addiction, Dave began using drugs and alcohol at a young age, experienced multiple overdoses, and lived a life surrounded by violence, crime, and loss. After losing both parents, surviving near-death experiences, and reaching a breaking point, Dave made a life-changing decision to seek recovery.

In this episode, Dave talks about trauma, addiction, spirituality, accountability, and what it truly means to rewrite your story. Today, he is a tattoo shop owner, mentor, and someone deeply committed to service, recovery, and personal growth.

This is a raw, honest conversation about addiction, recovery, faith, and transformation.

00:00 Introduction & Dave’s recovery time
01:00 Growing up around biker culture and gangs
03:00 Early trauma, loss, and first substance use
06:00 First overdose and rehab at 14
09:00 Exposure to heroin and escalation
12:00 Gangs, weapons charges, and self-destruction
15:00 Spiritual breaking point and near-death experience
18:00 Entering treatment with willingness
21:00 Emotional breakthrough in rehab
24:00 Early recovery and rebuilding trust
27:00 Tattooing, service work, and purpose
30:00 Life today in recovery
33:00 Giving back and redefining success

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The holidays can be one of the hardest times to stay sober — especially in early recovery or when you’re sober curious. In this conversation, Derek Benson shares why he created the Sober Holiday Hotline, a peer-to-peer support line for anyone struggling to get through holiday gatherings, family pressure, or moments of temptation. This hotline isn’t affiliated with rehabs, government agencies, or 12-step programs. Instead, it offers anonymous, lived-experience support from people in recovery who understand what those moments feel like. From practical tips to simple human connection, the goal is to help someone get through the night sober — and remind them they’re not alone. If staying sober during the holidays feels overwhelming, this conversation explains why connection matters and how support can make all the difference.

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Carrie and Michelle talk openly about how addiction, trauma, and unhealthy relationships often go hand in hand. They share lived experiences with abusive relationships, codependency, and emotional manipulation — and how recovery became the foundation for learning self-love, boundaries, and healthy connections. From leaving toxic partners to rebuilding trust in themselves, this episode explores what healing relationships actually look like in sobriety, why community matters, and how spaces like The Phoenix helped them rediscover who they are beyond addiction.

00:00 – Introductions & Recovery Backgrounds
01:00 – Why Unhealthy Relationships Are Common in Addiction
02:00 – Addiction, Insecurity, and Chasing Validation
03:15 – Substances Amplifying Relationship Chaos
04:16 – Knowing a Relationship Is Unhealthy but Staying
05:24 – Trauma Bonds and Why It’s Hard to Leave
06:20 – Self-Love, Boundaries, and Codependency
08:09 – Escalation, Gaslighting, and Emotional Abuse
08:40 – How Each Person Finally Got Out
10:19 – What Self-Love Looks Like in Recovery
11:43 – Healthy Friendships vs. Old “Using” Relationships
13:47 – Finding Support and Community in Recovery
15:00 – Hitting Bottom and Choosing Something Different
16:08 – Therapy, Boundaries, and Learning Red Flags
18:25 – Seeing People for Their Actions, Not Words
20:41 – Choosing Peace and the Cost of Chronic Stress
22:04 – Building Healthy Relationships in Recovery
23:25 – Confidence, Community, and Personal Growth
26:16 – Healing, Self-Respect, and Facing the Past
29:22 – What The Phoenix Is and Why It Matters
31:18 – Recovery Events, Connection, and Belonging
36:16 – Recovery Is About Discovering Who You Are
39:38 – Advice for Someone in Their First 24 Hours

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Tony’s story is a whirlwind of loss, chaos, identity struggles, and years spent chasing anything that would make him feel whole. Growing up without a father, he searched for belonging everywhere except within himself. That search eventually pulled him into a fast-moving lifestyle that brought consequences, arrests, and years of feeling stuck in a cycle he couldn’t escape.

Everything changed when a moment in detox — triggered by a story on TV — cracked him open and forced him to confront the life he’d built. That spark became surrender, and surrender became a complete transformation. Tony rebuilt his life from the ground up: he found purpose, lost over 100 pounds, restored his driver’s license after 15 years, and today he works at the CCAR New Haven Recovery Community Center, helping others find the hope he once needed.

His story is proof that discipline, purpose, and community can pull anyone out of the darkest places — and into a life they never believed they deserved.

0:00 — Introductions
0:24 — Growing Up Without a Father
1:02 — Early Behaviors & Searching for Belonging
2:20 — First Experiences With Substances
3:10 — Feeling “Not Enough” as a Kid
4:12 — Losing Control in Young Adulthood
5:07 — Slipping Into a Dangerous Lifestyle
6:05 — Trouble, Consequences & Prison Time
7:20 — The Cycle of Relapse
8:32 — The Breaking Point
9:43 — Spiritual Awakening in Detox
10:58 — Starting Over at Davenport House
12:18 — Beginning His Fitness Journey
13:12 — Losing 100 Pounds
14:10 — Food, Obsession & Filling the Void
15:22 — Finding Purpose at CCAR
16:30 — Coaching Others in Recovery
17:50 — Living With Hope & Discipline
18:45 — Gratitude, Growth & Becoming a Better Man
20:00 — Rebuilding His Life Step by Step
22:00 — Getting His License Back After 15 Years
23:40 — Working, Volunteering & Relearning Life
25:00 — Big Wins & Small Steps Forward
26:40 — Advice for Someone in Their First 24 Hours

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Mark Mongiardo shares the shocking truth behind years of being misunderstood, judged, and even criminally charged — all caused by a rare condition called Auto-Brewery Syndrome (ABS). Without drinking a drop of alcohol, his body would suddenly produce dangerously high blood-alcohol levels, leaving him intoxicated, confused, and fighting for his freedom and reputation.

Mark opens up about losing his teaching career, facing felony prison time, and being labeled an alcoholic by coworkers and even family — all while knowing deep down that something wasn’t right. His emotional diagnosis came only after two DWIs, a glucose challenge test, and relentless research by his mother and aunt. Once he finally had the truth, he began the long, painful journey of rebuilding his life from scratch.

Through strict diet changes, nonstop monitoring, and unbelievable family support, Mark has become a voice for others silently suffering from ABS. His vulnerability, advocacy, and message of E + R = O — Event + Response = Outcomemake this episode one of the most gripping stories we've ever shared.

00:00 – What Is Auto Brewery Syndrome?
00:36 – Mark’s Symptoms and Early Confusion
02:00 – Blood Alcohol Spikes Without Drinking
03:20 – Two DWIs While Sober
05:50 – The Turning Point: Something Was Wrong
07:25 – Arrested Sober… Again
09:00 – Living With Constant Accusations
10:15 – The Search for Answers Begins
12:00 – The Glucose Challenge Test
13:35 – The Emotional Diagnosis
15:10 – Family Misunderstandings and Strain
17:00 – Years of Being Labeled an Alcoholic
19:00 – Learning to Manage Daily Flares
21:00 – Fears About His Children and Genetics
24:00 – Rebuilding His Life From Nothing
27:00 – Losing His Career and Home
29:00 – Starting Over With E+R=O
30:20 – The Strict Zero-Carb, Zero-Sugar Lifestyle
32:00 – Support Groups and Advocacy Work
34:00 – Finding Community and Spreading Awareness

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Ryan’s story is a powerful journey through early substance use, deep loss, incarceration, and ultimately finding real recovery. From growing up seeking acceptance, to losing his closest friend at 16, to years of cycling between numbness and despair, Ryan opens up about the turning points that shifted his life. He reflects on the moment he almost gave up, how connection inside prison planted the first seeds of recovery, and how service, honesty, and community helped him rebuild his life. Today, with six months in recovery, a thriving small business, and strong family relationships, Ryan talks about healing, purpose, and the simple daily actions that keep him grounded. His message to anyone struggling: you’re not alone, and recovery is absolutely possible.

00:00 – Intro & Recovery Dates
00:52 – How They First Met
01:19 – Reuniting Inside AA Meetings
02:07 – Ryan’s Childhood
03:26 – Meeting the Friend Who Shaped Everything
04:00 – First Time Trying to “Feel Something”
05:00 – Becoming the “Go-To” Guy
05:36 – The Night Everything Changed
07:27 – Grief He Never Faced
08:30 – Homeless at 18
09:30 – Crossing Lines & Getting Arrested
10:19 – “Recovery Curious”
12:43 – Hearing the 15-Year Offer
14:17 – The Serenity Prayer Moment
16:05 – Tier 4 Program & Real Change
17:15 – Coming Home With Purpose
18:44 – Finding Community Again
19:58 – Being Around Recovery vs. In Recovery
21:42 – Substitution & Spiraling
22:28 – Losing Himself Again
23:08 – New Year’s at His Friend’s Grave
24:21 – Choosing Recovery For Real
25:00 – Returning to CCAR
25:46 – Life in Recovery Today
26:43 – Rebuilding Family Bonds
27:27 – Growing His Landscaping Business
28:20 – Daily Program & Service
28:59 – “If I Can Do It, Anyone Can”
29:25 – Advice for the First 24 Hours

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Tyler shares his raw and emotional journey, detailing a chaotic childhood where addiction was the family norm. He recounts the shocking progression of his own drug use, the moment his mother introduced him to heroin, and how his father was the first person to put a needle in his arm. After years of the "jail, rehab, rehab, jail" cycle, hear how the loss of his 'perfect' life and a moment of desperation led him to a permanent path of recovery. Now sober and working at the very treatment center that saved him, Tyler discusses finding his identity, the power of fellowship, and how he navigated the grief of losing both parents while staying clean.

[00:00] Podcast Introduction and Tyler's Clean Date (October 1st, 2023)

[00:00:45] The Host's Initial Doubt: "He's not gonna make it"

[00:02:29] Finding God and a "Physically New Person"

[00:03:30] Growing Up in a Vicious Cycle of Family Addiction My Mother Gave Me My First Perk; Sniffing Heroin Together

[00:07:28] "My Father Was the First Person to Put a Needle in My Arm"

[00:07:47] Playing the Shitty Cards: Winning with the Disease of Addiction

[00:09:26] The 10-Year Cycle: Jail, Rehab, Rehab, Jail

[00:11:37] The Gift of Desperation: Leaving the "White Picket Fence"

[00:14:13] The Genetic Factor of Opiate Addiction

[00:15:55] Identity Crisis: Who Am I Without Drugs?

[00:17:59] Life in Recovery & The Power of Fellowship (NA/AA)

[00:20:18] Faking the Funk: Why Half-Stepping the Work Fails

[00:30:52] Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

[00:31:35] Grieving in Sobriety: Losing Both Parents

[00:34:33] Final Thought: It's Easier to Keep Your Seat Than to Get It Back

[00:36:06] Conclusion and Gratitude

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