feel I'm wasting my words on you. Losing track of time, studying you. With all these possible scenarios Maybe we're all a little crazy. I've been wishing for brutality maybe then we could be honest. Give me exactly what's in your heart even the darkest part. ....reason with me.... so these questions can stop tearing me apart. I know you think of me in the mingles of your company. I know how easy it can be to be in 2 places at once. I know. I know. I know. Because, we all get a little lonely. And we all want to keep busy. listen, I feel I'm wasting my words on you. Losing track of time, studying you. With all these possible scenarios. Give it all back. Lose yourself on me. Invest fully You won't need all the company. One room is all you need. I know. I know. I know

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The blade cuts both ways. can't we pick a direction and commit? I've walked in just as fast as you've watched me leave. so desperate for consistency whatever you ask for, you can have it. What do you want from me? I need to fight to feel some validation. I want the best for us both through the silence, I have played with fire to hold your attention. breaking sound barriers, it's apparent I'm getting no where. everything in ash. Look what a mess I've made. We'll never move on from this, writing our initials in the past. there's nothing left for me, I should go. I should leave. Your lack of empathy and hesitation to communicate renders my efforts redundant. What were you thinking, when you said you loved me? It's an old habit, showing interest in the things you like. Wearing your shirt, I've made you a part of my life. Every time I come back through that door a little less of me remains. mutual feelings are not as I hope. clearly, you mustn't feel the same. so desperate for consistency whatever you ask for, you can have it. You know this. I know you do. What do you want from me? All I've wanted, was who we were when I was with you.

Back track credit goes to Silent Child - F**k You

Frost is promised to soon creep in and stay. Nights will be longer.

what Daylight you have embraced, between your blinds before,

will shortly fade. I hope your ignorance keeps you warm.

when you see your breath before you. I pray you acknowledge the distaste.

I sincerely hope you experience. what it means to fully open up and let go.

what it must be like, to lock up and pull the blinds, like you do.

what it must feel like, to burrow in such ego, like you do.

can you imagine the strength it takes, to love someone like you.

I could set fires to the universe, with the passion I hold for you.

But what a waste of my efforts and love, for a man who prefers

to burrow and lye with their eyes closed. I hope. I truly do...

I hope your ignorance keeps you warm.

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with all the disrespect you've shown me. watch me fuck a new man, wearing your hoody.

are you lonely now? coming home to an empty bed

no matter the woman you welcome in

will fill the role i played for you. will do the little things I've done for you.

those little things you couldn't do. they added up and made a difference.

who will be there to comfort you? even with your shoulders cold,

I remained present, I made your bed. hours gone by,

no call. no sound. like a fool, I stayed right here, to hold you down.

is the quiet setting in now? candle flicker dimming now?

Who is here to support you when I'm not around?

Now that I'm miles away, can you hear me now? I've stood in your door way

sun up to sun down. begging and reasoning. You chose to let go and let be.

so now you can imagine, how sexy ill be, riding a new man wearing your hoody.

Muwaah.! Kisses baaaaabe. let that bottom lip stick out.

look at me from the corner of your eyes. tell me you're hurting through this.

you know, you're kinda cute when you pout. You're so apologetic now.

what did it? the thought of someone new? feeling replaceable, doesn't feel so good?

well, these are the cards you delt, and the decisions you chose.

it always hurts more, when, you're the one loving the most.

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nothing has changed.

These walls support your mess. I can see you've found comfort

in my absence. I hope you're happy. but, we both know, happy didn't call me

over for a night of affection. happy doesnt reach out

and keep this form of communication.

I know you're lonely. lonely answered the door with little expectations

and more questionable intentions. Im familiar with lonely.

But I'm not a Lilly...you can't just pick me when you're ready

to admire me, asset me, then toss me out when I've dried out from neglect.

I'm not your option or your maybe. we are. or. we are not.

I am warmth. I am comfort. but not for your convenience.

I am tonight, tomorrow, sun set, sunrise.

I am anchors, roots and foundation.

I am giving, trusting, sincere and apologetic. more importantly,aware

of your poor behavior. standing in your welcome,

nothing has changed.

for you.

Back track credit goes to "Hearts/Wires" by Deftones

Day dreams weaved in my lashes.. crow's feet and lip creases. I beg you, don't leave me. shoulders back, the sun cries. sidewalks flood, we're all tied up. the sky broke loose the night I heard you lie. a flood gate released a washing of bleeding hearts. I see you in a different light So I tilted my hat and went for a ride. I hope you know It's your mouth that wakes tomorrow. There's a secret about you that sets my skin on fire. making Angels in all the ashes, I would rather stare into the flames accept and break. upfront and acknowledged. I beg you, please don't leave me. Don't you see, It makes me sick to think you whispered to anyone the way you sing to me.

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I'll do my best to tip toe out the door without a sound. I know you're wide awake staying quiet till I'm not around. silence has always been the fence, dividing us, standing so tall.. Are we too tired to climb? Maybe its the fear of the fall? or the over all disappointment when vulnerability is all that's left to hide? I have nothing left to say. I did those things and I felt I was doing what I was allowed to, Since I've watched you do it so many times, before. I have done so much forgiving, Enough, for the both of us.... Time spent cutting through demons. limbs by limbs. as sickening as they've been, I never turned too far. However, your stomach turns when you go opening the doors, looking for mine. The sword is still swinging. par to your wish I'll tip toe out of sight.

Back track credit goes to SleepToken "Is it really you"