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Redesign Yourself Beyond Betrayal

Redesign Yourself Beyond Betrayal

Written by: Lorna Nakell
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 In the words of Bessel Van Der Kolk, “Imagination gives us the opportunity to envision new possibilities—it is an essential launchpad for making our hopes come true.” When there’s a rupture in your relationship due to your partner’s sex and porn addiction, it’s natural to question not only who your partner is but also who you are. This kind of betrayal can deeply shake your sense of self, leaving you wondering how to move forward. In relationships, we form a connection that becomes its own entity. While you are two individuals, your coupleship creates a bond of trust, intimacy, and shared dreams. When that bond is broken by sexual betrayal, it’s like being torn away from part of yourself. To heal, you must rediscover who you are, apart from that relationship, and find new ways to feel safe and whole again. And in that process, the dreams you once held may need to evolve into something different. This is where your healing journey begins—whether you choose to stay in your relationship or move on. In my podcast, Redesign Yourself Beyond Betrayal, we explore how to use design thinking tools to turn trauma into an opportunity for growth. You’ll be given inspiration on how to tap into your imagination, take creative risks, and redesign your life through small, intentional steps. In lively interviews you’ll learn about the importance of empathizing with your emotions and needs, to aid yourself in understanding what you truly want and deserve in life. You’ll hear discussions with other betrayed partners about the importance of defining goals for healing, identifying the core areas where trust, love, and a sense of self need to be rebuilt. You’ll see how play can be used to ideate—allowing yourself to imagine new possibilities for your future, even ones you hadn’t considered before. And you’ll see prototyping and testing can be done by taking small, manageable steps to bring your ideas to life. Even what you can see as a failure when trying something new is just a learning experience and an opportunity to iterate. Healing is a process of continuous learning, and you’ll discover that it’s okay to adjust and refine your path along the way. My hope for you is that if you’re in a place where you feel you could use a redesign, that you find some nuggets of wisdom in this podcast that will help you rediscover the vibrant, resilient woman within. You can do this! And we’re in this together. Lorna —--------- In Redesign Yourself Beyond Betrayal Lorna Nakell tackles issues relating to being a betrayed partner with the goal of stepping into post traumatic growth where women use creativity to redesign themselves and shift to a state of thriving beyond betrayal. Hear stories from Lorna’s personal journey to reclaim herself through creativity and movement, meet respected experts in the subject of betrayal trauma, listen to other women tell their betrayal stories and share their achievements, and learn what it takes to stay together after betrayal from Lorna and her husband. Lorna is the author of I Am Reclaiming Me: A Betrayed Partner’s Daily Practice Journal for Women, the co-creator of Coupleship: Activity Cards for Reestablishing Connection After Sexual Betrayal, the host of the podcast I Am My Passion Project, and founder of Womanhouse. She has been healing from betrayal trauma since 2022. And, is currently living the “recovery lifestyle” with her husband Noah who has been using his creativity to redesign himself as he heals from sex addiction. CONNECT WITH LORNA https://thewomanhouse.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womanhouseprojects/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/voiceofwomanhouse Podcast frequency: Monthly All rights reserved.Copyright 2025 Lorna Nakell Hygiene & Healthy Living Relationships Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • Post Traumatic Growth Beyond Betrayal with Carol (the coach) Juergensen Sheets

    Post Traumatic Growth Beyond Betrayal with Carol (the coach) Juergensen Sheets
    Aug 13 2025

    In this episode of Redesigning Yourself Beyond Betrayal, I sit down with Carol Sheets (Carol the Coach), a leading expert in betrayal trauma recovery with decades of experience. We explore the often-overlooked topic of post-traumatic growth—what it looks like, how to recognize when you're ready for it, and practical tools to help you move from survival mode to truly thriving after betrayal.

    Carol Sheets is a highly sought-after educator and thought leader who has served as faculty for APSATS and ITAP, two leading organizations in betrayal trauma recovery. She's the creator of the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM), which has empowered over 250 clinicians globally. Carol is also the author of several acclaimed books including Help Her Heal, Unleashing Your Power: Moving Beyond Sexual Betrayal, and Help Them Heal. As a pioneer in the field, she hosted the very first internet radio podcast on sex addiction and partner betrayal.

    In this conversation, we dive deep into the three phases of partner betrayal recovery and why so many women get stuck in the first phase. Carol shares her mission to help women step into post-traumatic growth, where they develop a new appreciation for life and find the energy to give back to others.

    Topics Covered:
    1. The three phases of partner betrayal recovery and how to recognize post-traumatic growth
    2. Common fears about staying versus leaving your relationship after betrayal
    3. Carol's "Head, Heart, and Gut" framework for rebuilding trust in yourself
    4. The "50 Things You Like About Yourself" exercise for building confidence
    5. How to use reframing to turn trauma into growth opportunities
    6. The 10 recovery tools to look for in a partner's healing journey
    7. Why empathy is crucial for recovery and what it looks like in action
    8. How to detach with love when your partner isn't doing the work

    Why This Episode Matters:
    • Post-traumatic growth is possible, but it's often overlooked in favor of crisis management
    • Learning to trust yourself again is essential for moving forward, whether you stay or leave
    • Understanding what genuine recovery looks like helps you make informed decisions about your relationship

    Resources Mentioned:

    Help.Her.Heal by Carol Sheets

    Unleashing Your Power: Moving Beyond Sexual Betrayal by Carol Sheets

    Help.Them.Heal by Carol Sheets

    Helping Couples Heal from Infidelity and Find Love Again by Carol Sheets

    A House Interrupted: A Wife's Story of Recovery from her Husband's Sex Addiction by Maurita Corcoran

    Connect with Carol:

    sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com

    Upcoming workshops: Partners Post-Traumatic Growth (August 26, 2025) and Couples Post-Traumatic Growth (September 16, 2025)

    Purchase: I Am Reclaiming Me: A Betrayed Partner’s Daily Practice Journal for Women by Lorna Nakell or Coupleship: Activity Cards for Reestablishing Connection after Sexual Betrayal.

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    Show More Show Less
    59 mins
  • Nolo 2.0: Reflections on a Coupleship Part 2

    Nolo 2.0: Reflections on a Coupleship Part 2
    Feb 10 2025

    Welcome to part two of Nolo 2.0. In this episode, I’m joined by my husband Noah for an honest conversation about our journey of healing after betrayal. We know how rare it is to find examples of both the betrayer and the betrayed sharing their story together, and we hope this episode provides encouragement and insight for others navigating similar challenges.

    Noah Nakell is a Certified Professional Coach who specializes in recovery coaching for men navigating sex addiction, with additional expertise in life coaching for building lives that reflect their true values. Drawing from his own recovery journey, Noah guides men from secrecy and shame toward genuine freedom and connection. He works with clients nationwide through online sessions and offers free consultations to explore how coaching can support your path forward. Learn more at boundlessbravery.com.

    In this episode we discuss the difficult realities of betrayal and addiction, the role of toxic shame, and how patriarchal systems contribute to harmful behaviors. We also share strategies for recovery, tips for healing through the holidays, and what it takes to move forward as individuals and as a couple.

    Topics Covered:

    1. Some of our most recent challenges in healing.
    2. Strategies Noah uses to help Lorna with triggers.
    3. How Noah's focus on what's important in life has changed since recovery.
    4. Noah's advice for men still struggling on their journey of recovery from sex addiction.
    5. Noah's questions for Lorna regarding her healing process.
    6. Noah's advice for couples recovering from betrayal trauma.

    Why This Episode Matters:

    • It’s essential to shed light on the topic of sex and porn addiction in order to inspire change.
    • By sharing our journey, we hope to show other couples that healing is possible—even after deep hurt.

    Resources Mentioned:

    Help. Her. Heal. by Carol Juergensen Sheets

    Coupleship: Activity Cards for Reestablishing Connection after Sexual Betrayal by Lorna Nakell and Noah Nakell

    "An Ordinary Beautiful Marriage," Reflections of Life

    Purchase: I Am Reclaiming Me: A Betrayed Partner’s Daily Practice Journal for Women by Lorna Nakell or Coupleship: Activity Cards for Reestablishing Connection after Sexual Betrayal.

    Read more about betrayal trauma and feminist issues.

    Stay connected:

    • Keep up with Redesign Yourself Beyond Betrayal latest episodes and related content by signing up for the newsletter at Womanhouse


    Note: I earn commissions from sponsored links.
    Show More Show Less
    38 mins
  • NoLo 2.0: Reflections on a Coupleship

    NoLo 2.0: Reflections on a Coupleship
    Dec 20 2024

    In this episode, I’m joined by my husband Noah for an honest conversation about our journey of healing after betrayal. We know how rare it is to find examples of both the betrayer and the betrayed sharing their story together, and we hope this episode provides encouragement and insight for others navigating similar challenges.

    Noah Nakell is a Certified Professional Coach who specializes in recovery coaching for men navigating sex addiction, with additional expertise in life coaching for building lives that reflect their true values. Drawing from his own recovery journey, Noah guides men from secrecy and shame toward genuine freedom and connection. He works with clients nationwide through online sessions and offers free consultations to explore how coaching can support your path forward. Learn more at boundlessbravery.com.

    In this episode we discuss the difficult realities of betrayal and addiction, the role of toxic shame, and how patriarchal systems contribute to harmful behaviors. We also share strategies for recovery, tips for healing through the holidays, and what it takes to move forward as individuals and as a couple.

    Topics Covered:

    1. Where are we now and how did we get here?
    2. What made reconciliation possible for us.
    3. The practices and routines Noah is doing daily for his recovery.
    4. How toxic shame can get in the way of success.
    5. Tips for healing through the holidays.
    6. Managing addiction with co-occurring conditions.

    Why This Episode Matters:

    • It’s essential to shed light on the topic of sex and porn addiction in order to inspire change.
    • By sharing our journey, we hope to show other couples that healing is possible—even after deep hurt.

    Resources Mentioned:

    Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft: https

    "The Secret Sexual Basement" whitepaper by Omar Minwalla

    Purchase: I Am Reclaiming Me: A Betrayed Partner’s Daily Practice Journal for Women by Lorna Nakell or Coupleship: Activity Cards for Reestablishing Connection after Sexual Betrayal.

    Read more about betrayal trauma and feminist issues.

    Stay connected:

    • Keep up with Redesign Yourself Beyond Betrayal latest episodes and related content by signing up for the newsletter at Womanhouse


    Note: I earn commissions from sponsored links.

    Note: I may receive a commission from affiliate links.
    Show More Show Less
    41 mins
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