There's a kind of exhaustion that a good night's sleep doesn't touch. You know the one. Everything looks fine from the outside, but on the inside you're one smashed glass at half ten at night away from losing it completely.

Listen if...

• You're holding it together on the outside but running on empty on the inside
• You've turned self-care into another standard you're failing to meet
• You track your sleep and still wake up tired
• You feel guilty for resting when there's still stuff to do You know all the things you're supposed to do — and somehow that's making it worse
• You're one small thing away from the tears coming out
  

This solo episode is Ben sitting on a log in Geltwood... literally, in the woods, on a wet log ...thinking out loud about the exhaustion that comes from applying your high-achieving, run-faster brain to absolutely everything, including rest. The magnesium supplements. The sleep tracking app. The morning routine you set your alarm earlier for and then felt bad about when you didn't get up.

The self-care industry has quietly turned recovery into another performance standard, and if that's landing for you right now, this one's for you.

Ben also brings in some genuinely fascinating neuroscience about what the brain actually does when you stop, and why doing nothing is not laziness, it's necessary.

A short episode that might change how you think about rest.

About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Carlisle. He helps people build businesses and lives that actually feel good. reflectiverebels.co.uk

Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch Find out about coaching and the Badass Business Lab at reflectiverebels.co.uk

Not fitting in doesn't always look like being left out. Sometimes it's just a quiet sense that wherever you are, you're slightly on the outside of it. Kim Anson spent years feeling like that, working three jobs at once, stuck and skint, with pottery always running quietly in the background. Now she runs her own studio in Carlisle where people walk in and the stress drops off their shoulders. It didn't happen with a plan. It happened because she never stopped making pots.

Listen if...

• You've got a thing you keep coming back to but can't figure out how to make it your actual life.
• You're working hard, maybe across multiple jobs, and still asking yourself "what am I actually doing?"
• You've never quite fitted in anywhere and you're starting to wonder if that's a problem or a superpower.

Keywords

not fitting in, finding your tribe, creative business, self-employment anxiety, saying no in business, career change, starting a business from nothing, self-doubt, business owner mental health, setting boundaries, identity

Five Lessons from This Episode

• Kim was working retail, pubs, and a stockroom after uni, stuck and skint. But she was spending her spare money on pottery machinery instead of house deposits. The thing you're meant to build might already be the thing you can't stop doing.
• Her grandma passed away and left her money. Kim put every penny into a studio and her parents matched it. The turning point wasn't a plan. It was knowing what she wanted and backing it.
• Within a year Kim was ill from running the studio alongside her school job. Something has to give, and it's better if you choose what before your body does.
• Kim said yes to everything for a year, then spent the next year saying no. She worked out what drained her and now protects her days off without apology.
• Kim never changed shape to fit anyone else's puzzle. She built her own, and the right people found her.

Key Moments

(00:07:08) Kim on feeling like a puzzle piece that didn't fit anyone else's puzzle.

(22:37) The sober story. How binge drinking crept in and how Dry January became permanent.

(27:46) "What am I doing?" The years of being stuck after uni.

(37:16) Kim's grandma passes away and every penny goes into a studio.

(43:57) What the studio became. People walking in and the stress dropping off.

(50:49) The year-of-yes followed by year-of-no approach to boundaries.

Quotable Moments

"I was almost like a jigsaw puzzle piece that didn't fit into anybody else's puzzle." On feeling slightly on the outside of everything.

"What am I doing? I'd turn to my mate and say, what the fuck are we doing?" The stuck years after uni.

"There wasn't even a shadow in my mind that I was going to spend it on a holiday or put it down for a deposit." On her grandma's inheritance.

"It's my life and I've chosen it." Three years into the studio.

About Kim

Kim Anson runs KAH Ceramics, a pottery studio in Carlisle. Instagram: @kah_ceramics

About Ben

Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach on a mission to spread joy.

Support the Podcast: Share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch

reflectiverebels.co.uk | Instagram: @reflectiverebels |

You started this business for freedom. But somewhere along the way it became the thing trapping you. You're physically there every day because it feels like it won't run without you. You're emotionally carrying every decision, every salary, every problem. And mentally, your brain never switches off, not at five o'clock, not at ten, not at two in the morning.

In this solo episode, Ben talks about the cycle he sees constantly in coaching. Business owners who are so deep inside their own business that there's no time to think, no space to breathe, and no way to see a route out. Fear keeps you where you are. Time disappears into reacting to everything. Boundaries don't exist because every yes feels necessary. And the money doesn't add up to let you step back, even if you wanted to.

The usual advice to just delegate more doesn't work when you're trapped in a loop that big. Ben's starting point is simpler and more honest than that: before strategy, before systems, before hiring, you need calm.

This episode is about the gap between the business you imagined building and the one you're actually stuck inside. Ben breaks down the four things that keep business owners boxed in: fear that standards will slip if you step back, no time to think strategically because you're constantly reacting, no boundaries because you're saying yes to everything, and money that feels too tight to allow you to delegate.

One of Ben's clients described it perfectly. Instead of being the thermostat, setting the temperature and the direction, she'd become the thermometer, just reacting to whatever was happening around her. That image captures the whole problem.

The episode lands on one practical challenge. Block out three hours somewhere that isn't your office. Sit with one question: what am I doing because only I can do it, and what am I doing just because I've always done it? You can't redesign something when you're trapped inside it.

More at www.reflectiverebels.co.uk