When the version of your life that looked “right” stops feeling like you, what happens next?

In this conversation, Jim talks honestly about the long arc of his working life: teaching in London, climbing the leadership ladder, reaching a point where the system no longer fed his soul, and the quiet realisation that something had to change.

We talk about identity, ambition, leaving a career that once made sense, and the strange relief of admitting “this isn’t who I want to be anymore.” And through it all, a clear thread runs: connection, conversation, nature, and the people we choose to share our lives with.

Jim reflects on optimism in dark moments, the pull of the fells, adventure, parenting, building something on your own terms, and what it means to feel like yourself again. Not in a big dramatic way, just in the very human way so many of us recognise.

If you’re standing in the messy middle of ambition, exhaustion and wanting a life that feels more yours, you might hear something in Jim’s story that steadies you.

Listen if you’re:

• A business owner or leader wondering what “the next chapter” even is

• Tired of spinning plates and pretending it’s all fine

• In a career that once fit but doesn’t anymore

• Questioning what success actually means

• Craving connection, meaning and something real

Quotable moments:

• “Sometimes it’s just moving on to the next chapter.”

• “I felt divided – there was work me and there was real me.”

• “What brings me joy is connection. It doesn’t need to be big stuff.”

• “You can scream into those fells and the wind and they don’t give a shit.”

If this conversation lands with you, you’ll probably love the newsletter – stories, reflections and gentle rebellion for people who are done pretending everything is fine.

Join here: reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter

Connect: Instagram: @reflective_rebels

If you have been feeling a quiet shift in yourself that you cannot quite name but you know is there, this conversation might give you some company.

Ricky talks about the moments that shaped him, the things he has let go of, and the parts of himself he is finding again. We go from childhood memories of being the tech obsessed “shiny buttons” kid, to DJing in dark clubs, to building a tech agency, to the grounding work he does as a Samaritans listening volunteer.

He also speaks about being born with one leg and what it meant to grow up with parents who backed him fully while keeping things real. From early limitations he had to face, to the quiet courage of choosing what felt true to him, Ricky shares how these experiences shaped how he moves through the world.

There is also an honest moment about how he and his partner made peace with the version of their life that does not include children right now. Not with regret, but with clarity and acceptance.

We also get into the shift he is feeling today. The old metrics of success like speed, productivity and constant growth no longer land. What feels more important now is community, meaning and a softer way of living.

Do you need a goal to take action, or can you follow what feels human and true?

• are questioning the old definitions of success
• want conversations that sit in the grey
• feel a shift but do not yet have words for it
• prefer honesty over performance
• are navigating changes in identity, purpose or energy

"I always loved the shiny buttons."

"At some point I realised being a fireman probably was not going to happen."

"There is something softer pulling me now."

"I have always liked helping people."

Listen here: Fake Blood, Sweat and Tears

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Theresa has lived many lives... across continents, careers, and versions of herself. From a childhood in Zimbabwe and South Africa to teenage years in Portugal and now life in Carlisle, she’s spent years learning what it means to belong, to rebuild, and to finally take up space as the adult version of herself.

In this conversation, she talks about movement, motherhood, grief, and growing into the kind of woman who calls her own shots. The kind who’s learned that strength isn’t about pretending everything’s fine, it’s about owning the whole story, even the messy chapters.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been performing someone else’s version of your life, or you’re just tired of holding it all together, this one’s for you.

Listen if you:

• Feel like you’ve been “fine” for too long and want something more real

• Keep shape-shifting to fit where you are but never quite feel at home

• Need a reminder that confidence can come later in life, and that’s okay

• Are trying to make peace with the messier parts of your story

• • Want to hear from someone who’s figured out how to stop shrinking herself

  
  

  Lessons from her story:

  • You can start again — more than once. Reinvention isn’t failure; it’s what living looks like.
  • Confidence doesn’t appear overnight. It builds quietly through hard-won momentss
  • You’re allowed to outgrow people, places, and versions of yourself.
  • Owning your story means owning all of it, even the parts you’d rather forget.
  • Community doesn’t just happen; you create it.

  Moments:

• 00:00 – Intro: Why Fridays, fish and chips, and reality TV matter more than you think
  07:00 – From Zimbabwe to Portugal: what constant movement teaches you about belonging
  16:30 – When change feels forced: teenage years, loss, and learning to adapt
  28:00 – Work, McDonald’s, and 2 a.m. cinemas — joy in the middle of chaos
  30:20 – Creating community wherever you land
  45:00 – How grief led Theresa to her calling as a celebrant
  51:00 – Owning your story (and the shit bits too)
  57:00 – What’s next for “badass Theresa”

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  Memorable quotes:

• “Five-year-old me was kind of running the show. Adult me actually knows what she’s doing and she can run the show.”

  “Sometimes we’ve just got to talk about the shit things too — not just the ones that happen to us, but the ones we do. It’s all part of our story.”

  “I always say the things other people don’t say. I get those looks like, ‘Oh gosh, you said that,’ and I’m like, yeah, I did.”

  “If women are confident, it often comes across as something else. But it isn’t. I’ve stepped into my adult shoes — I’m properly living my life.”

  “Granny made me become a celebrant. She didn’t follow her dreams, so I’m making sure I follow mine.”

  About the Podcast

  We’re Done Pretending is a Reflective Rebels podcast hosted by Ben Hickman. Real conversations about the beautiful, messy muddle of being human. No quick fixes. No corporate masks. Just honest stories about joy, loss, identity, and the work of becoming ourselves again.

  Coaching: If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to find a life that feels good to you, email ben@reflectiverebels.co.uk.

  
  Follow Reflective Rebels: https://www.instagram.com/reflective_rebels/ on Instagram

  
  Subscribe to the newsletter: reflectiverebels.co.uk/newsletter for news, and updates for exhausted humans.

  
  Read Theresa’s writing: https://substack.com/@theresawritesnow