In this episode, Lilly breaks down what chronic activation is, how you get stuck in it, and what you can do about it. She’ll explain why you might feel like you’re always on alert, always in danger, always one step away from everything falling apart. And she’ll give you one simple resourcing tool that can help you access safety in your nervous system.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

* What chronic activation is and why you’ve stopped noticing it

* How chronic activation is like being sleep-deprived—you adapt, but you’re still declining internally

* Why you feel like you’re always on alert, always in danger, always one step away from everything falling apart

* The difference between sympathetic charge (activation) and parasympathetic safety (rest, connection, intimacy)

* Why high-functioning men go from highly activated to completely shut down at the end of the day (dorsal vagal collapse)

* What resourcing is and how it helps your nervous system access safety

* A simple exercise you can do right now to downshift into safety

* Why resourcing alone won’t renegotiate the patterns keeping you stuck, and what will

Free Download:

Explode Shutdown Cycle Field Guide for LeadersIf you get home after work and find yourself exploding at the smallest things, then shutting down and withdrawing, this guide is for you.

https://lillyrachels.myflodesk.com/fieldguide

Book a Call with Lilly:

If you’re interested in working directly with your nervous system to renegotiate the patterns keeping you in chronic activation, book a call with Lilly. She’ll walk you through polyvagal theory and explore what’s going on in your individual system and if nervous system work will help you.

https://calendar.app.google/dDeTxAJfjCZQLnzS7

In this episode, Lilly breaks down the Explode Shutdown Cycle: chronic activation → trigger → explosion → guilt → shutdown → repeat.

She’ll explain why willpower and communication skills can’t fix this, and what actually works: training your nervous system to expand capacity and move fluidly between activation and safety.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

* What the Explode Shutdown Cycle is and why it keeps repeating

* The nervous system science behind chronic activation, explosion, guilt, and shutdown

* Why you’re a “high-functioning survivalist” (like a high-functioning alcoholic—you keep it together, but at a cost)

* Why willpower and communication skills can’t fix a maxed-out nervous system

* The difference between sympathetic overdrive (activation) and ventral vagal (safety, connection, rest)

* Why small triggers at home (mess, requests, interruptions) feel like threats when you’re already maxed out

* How to train your nervous system to expand capacity and stay present under pressure

* The three phases to break the cycle (outlined in the free field guide)

* Why this is not a personality flaw—it’s a trainable nervous system response

Free Download:

Explode Shutdown Cycle Field GuideVisual diagram + 3 phases to break the cycle.https://lillyrachels.myflodesk.com/fieldguide

Connect with Lilly:

* Work 1:1: support@lillyrachels.com

* Website: lillyrachels.com

You’re keeping your partner at arm’s length.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Looking for proof they’ll leave.

It’s not them. It’s your fear of rejection putting a force field around you that love can’t get through.

In this episode, Lilly breaks down the fear of rejection, why it shows up in relationships, and how it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. She walks you through the difference between real fear (evidence in THIS relationship) and imagined fear (ghosts from your past), and gives you a powerful reframe for building self-trust.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

* What the fear of rejection actually includes (fear of judgment, abandonment, not being good enough)

* Why this fear starts in childhood and shows up in your adult relationships

* How your brain looks for proof of what you already believe (and creates self-sabotage)

* Why keeping someone at arm’s length guarantees they’ll eventually leave

* The difference between real fear and imagined fear (and how to tell which one you’re dealing with)

* How to know if your fear is based on evidence in THIS relationship or trauma from the past

* Why “I am worthy of love” doesn’t work (and what to say instead)

Connect with Lilly:

* Book a Free Call with Lilly

* Website: lillyrachels.com