I’m joined once again by Mark England for what ends up being one of our deepest and most important discussions to date.
What starts with a lighthearted rant about coffee quickly turns into a powerful breakdown of why most New Year’s resolutions fail, why surface-level change never sticks, and why so many coaches burn out trying to have all the right answers.
At the center of this episode is a theme Mark and I keep coming back to: real change doesn’t come from answers — it comes from better questions, better words, and better breathing.
We explore why resolutions expire by February, how fear can actually be a useful signal for growth, and why asking how someone does something is far more effective than asking why. Along the way, Mark introduces what we ended up calling “the original sin of coaching” — the belief that a good coach must always have the right answer.
This episode is raw, honest, and practical. It’s a reminder that lasting progress — whether in coaching, business, health, or life — comes from slowing down, listening better, and letting people discover their own answers.
In This Episode, We Dive Into:- Why New Year’s resolutions almost never work — and what to do instead
- The difference between resolutions and questions
- How fear can be a powerful tool when used correctly
- Why 90-day windows are more effective than yearly goals
- How language creates identity loops that keep people stuck
- Why coaches don’t need better answers — they need better questions
- The “original sin of coaching” and how it leads to burnout
- How breath control affects listening, presence, and decision-making
- Why observing thoughts is different than believing them
- What real coaching actually looks like when done well
Key Takeaways- Change doesn’t happen at the resolution level — it happens at the word level.
- Asking how someone does something reveals patterns that why questions miss.
- Coaches who think they need all the answers stop listening.
- Questions pull people forward; answers push them away.
- Fear isn’t a stop sign — it’s often a compass.
- Real growth requires unlearning, not just learning more.
One Question to Sit WithWhat’s the one thing I need to stop doing to make this next year meaningful?
Not a goal.
Not a resolution.
Just a question worth living into.
🛠 Resources & Links:
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📸 Instagram: @enliftedcoaches
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Thanks for listening 💪