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He lands in Saudi Arabia the night the Gulf War begins, gets offered a bonus to stay, and says yes because unemployment back home is the other option. That single decision opens a career that moves from A&E nursing to pre-hospital emergency care, refugee camps, and later a very different fight inside healthcare leadership. I’m Vicky Ross, and I’ve wanted to share Andrew’s story for years because his resilience is not a slogan, it’s lived experience.

We talk through what trauma work really looks like: rapid interventions with limited resources, the weight of responsibility, and how your nervous system learns to survive. Andrew shares how a Greater Manchester Fire Service initiative trained trauma technicians so firefighters could deliver immediate trauma care when seconds mattered, plus the resistance that came from politics and role boundaries. If you care about emergency medicine, defibrillators, first response, and how systems change, you’ll hear the behind-the-scenes reality.

Then we go deeper into the internal aftermath: PTSD symptoms, guilt, and a form of detachment that protects you in war zones and resus bays but can block closeness at home. Andrew also opens up about toxic management, bullying, and 13 months of gardening leave, including the moment he decides he will not be pushed out. We finish with practical tools for staying steady, from mindfulness and the power of now to yoga, breath, gratitude, and the simple question: “Right now, do I have a problem?”

If this conversation helps, subscribe, share it with someone who needs a lift, and leave us a review so more people can find Rise Up Stories.

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This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

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A relationship ending can feel like freefall, but what if the real crisis is not losing them, it’s losing yourself? I’m joined by Shelly J. Whitehead, a relationship and couples coach and author of *Healing Your Heartbreak: 28 Days to Transformation*, to talk about the rise-up moment that changed how she loves, chooses and speaks up. We start with a story that still gives me chills, the strange way Shelly and I discovered our lives had crossed long before we officially met, and why that kind of connection can open the door to deeper truth.

Shelly shares her “ground zero” after the end of her second marriage, and how grief, betrayal and abandonment can pull old childhood wounds to the surface. We unpack the core patterns behind people-pleasing, minimising yourself and taking crumbs just to feel chosen. Then she takes us to a pivotal declaration: choosing to always ask for what she wants and needs, and learning to phrase needs in the positive so a request doesn’t land as blame. You’ll also hear a practical identity tool, the “I am” exercise, to rebuild self-worth without outsourcing it to a partner.

From there, we explore what genuine healing looks like in real relationships: boundaries, healthy anger, emotional regulation, integrity and the courage to stay present even when it’s uncomfortable. Shelly explains why not every relationship is meant to last, but every person can learn the skills of connection, presence and repair, which is exactly what great couples therapy and relationship coaching is for.

If you know someone navigating heartbreak, divorce grief or a relationship reset, share this with them, then subscribe, follow and leave a review so more people can find the show. What is one need you’re ready to ask for, clearly and without apology?

To see more of Shelley's offerings follow her links:

Website: https://shelleyjwhitehead.com/

Instagram|: https://www.instagram.com/shelleyjwhitehead/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ShelleyJWhitehead

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here.

To visit my website

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky

Send us Fan Mail

What if the parts of you that feel most “like you” are actually the parts you had to become to belong? We sit with a simple, unsettling question: what happened to the child you once were, the one who arrived curious, creative, emotionally open, and not yet trained to earn love through performance.

I talk through how disconnection often starts quietly as nervous system survival. When you are small, you cannot risk believing the adults around you are unsafe or unreliable, so you adapt instead. You become the achiever, the good girl or good boy, the clown, the rescuer, the one who never needs anyone, the one who stays quiet. These coping mechanisms can be deeply intelligent for the environment you grew up in, but suffering begins when the adaptation hardens into identity and you start calling it “my personality”.

We also look at why change can feel so hard: the unconscious mind follows familiarity, not a moral compass. Stress can become normal. Validation can become chemically comforting. Emotional protection can become your default. That’s why you can look successful on the outside and still feel empty on the inside, and why burnout, anxiety, or overwhelm may be the body’s way of telling the truth when the false self can no longer hold.

Finally, we explore doorways back to self-connection: time alone, meditation, stillness, and creativity as a return rather than an escape. Healing is not always adding more. Sometimes it is removing interference and remembering what was there before fear became an identity. If this lands, subscribe, leave a review, and share the episode with someone who needs the reminder: you were never meant to lose yourself in order to belong.

Support the show

To join my beautiful membership community click here.

To visit my website

This episode reflects my interpretation and awareness-based philosophical perspective, shaped by years of personal experience, training, reading, and research.

It is not medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice and does not replace professional support.

The language used is descriptive and reflective, not diagnostic.

Not everyone will resonate with these ideas — and that is completely okay.

You are responsible for your own interpretations, decisions, and the changes you choose to make in your life.

Here is to your success

Love

Vicky