Episodes

  • A Gram Of War
    Jul 16 2026

    Episode kicks of with parody news intro. Not our classiest. Then we've got more on the Gram Man's passing. We move onto if taco bell is causing this nations loose stools. I know I sat on one. Then we've got how Tarrif's are getting in the way of your kids ability to play boring board games and why that might actually keep them from becoming patsies in murder trials. Get your porch tickets: www.porchtour.comHave your porch porched: TheFireTix.comwear my merch on your porch: RobBernsteinMerch.comSit on your porch and watch my extended extremely premium episode: www.RobBernsteinComedy.comWear Sheath On A porch: Sheath.com promocode: RYM

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    1 hr and 1 min
  • The Iran War 720
    Jul 9 2026

    Rob breaks down Trump's full 720 back to war with Iran, the Taylor Swift wedding money-laundering theory, a cracked support beam in the old Pfizer building, and a sales-tactics analysis of why Trump's closing moves are finally failing him. Plus Patriot missiles to Ukraine, a Tyler Robinson trial check-in, and the sketchy US-Israel military arrangement.


    Shorter mid-week drop. See Rob in Galveston Sunday — full dates at RobBernsteinComedy.com


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    30 mins
  • Trump's Reading Material & The Four Levels of Evil
    Jul 6 2026

    Cold open News intro, then a long weekend recap — gas station idiocy, the roadside sandwich, and why every pool has become a strip club. Into the meat: the MKUltra congressional hearing, the CIA's refusal to be investigated, and a full breakdown of the Four Levels of Evil framework. Then Trump's financial corruption — the 600 tariff trades, the memecoin scheme that fleeced his own fans, the UAE's $250M "investment," and Trump's on-camera defense that his family can't help insider trading because the presidency is just too powerful. Closing with Trump storytime and Marco Rubio pitching a biometric face-scan passport process because that won't go anywhere bad.







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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • Will The Supreme Court Rule Against Stomach Parasites
    Jul 2 2026

    Back from the Porch and straight into the nightmare — a Newport storyteller show for liberals, a month-long dealership hostage situation, and the hotel industry's war on your dignity. Then we get into it: the Supreme Court dumped a pile of end-of-term rulings all at once, so we break down birthright citizenship in Trump v. Barbara (and why "it's not the baby's fault" is secretly an argument for total socialism), the Monsanto failure-to-warn case and the corporate immunity loop it creates, plus the campaign finance, trans sports, and presidential removal-power decisions. Also: a life-saving PSA about the summer diarrhea parasite, France blaming America for its own heat wave, Trump's billion-dollar crypto year, the incredible shrinking Iran MOU, and a Twitter Clip Theater closer featuring an MK Ultra hearing, Thomas Massie turning the tables on a Fox reporter, Pam Bondi refusing to admit Coca-Cola isn't nutritious, and the great 350-foot reflecting pool gash mystery.PORCHTOUR.com - upcoming showsRobbernsteinmerch.com - Tees and stuffwww.robbernsteincomedy.com - support the show and watch the extended showSPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocde: RYM)

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    1 hr and 9 mins
  • The Fauci Reckoning
    Jun 24 2026

    Topics in order:

    - In defense of porch people

    - Lady who stole a garbage can

    - Trump's botched pool job or vandalism

    - Are you getting charged more then other people for goods online?

    - Tulsi Gabbard/ Fauci

    - Iran war coverage

    ============

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    52 mins
  • Memorandum of What Is This?
    Jun 18 2026

    The war's over — or there's a "memorandum of understanding," which apparently lets you end a war without resolving anything and still get celebrated for it. First, the nonsense: employees who just stare at you, Delta's baggage-claim betrayal in Minnesota, and Seamless getting officially condemned. Then UFC at the White House, the Iran deal read line by line, Gabbard's Ukraine bio lab receipts, censorship in England, my theory of society, and whether Jim Jordan will ever turn the criminal-informant question back on the FBI.

    Porches at: www.porchtour.comSubmit a porch: TheFireTix.comMerch at: Robbernsteinmerch.comSPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocode: RYM)

    Yokratom.com

    https://jeffkellick.substack.com/s/consequential-actions-podcast

    https://drewbuilders.com/

    https://www.amazon.com/Survival-Over-Service-Institutions-Manufacture/dp/B0GSS21QQM

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    1 hr and 6 mins
  • DOUBLE BRIDGE & TUNNEL DAY | Trump's War Goes In A Circle
    Jun 10 2026

    The show's back after a week off, and the host has come to terms with the fact that being productive on weekends is what kills the podcast — so it's back to living like a slob for the good of the audience. Quick update on the move off StreamYard to all-OBS, a Porch Tour recap from Detroit where the crowd turned out to personally know half the Whitmer kidnapping plotters, and then the real story: the Iran war has looped all the way back to "Bridge and Tunnel Day," a ceasefire so durable that both sides keep bombing each other through it.

    From there: Trump's pitch to rename the country "Trump USA" until he's out of office, a libertarian argument for letting people review medications like movies on Rotten Tomatoes, the quietly walked-back tariffs on tractors and steel, the FBI's business of manufacturing domestic terror plots, and Todd Blanche insisting there's no immunity clause for Trump and his sons while a congresswoman reads him the immunity clause.

    www.porchtour.com - Live DatesRobBernsteincomedy.com - Support the showRobBernsteinMerch.com - Get MerchTheFireTix.com - Submit a porch (I HAVE TO MANY LINKS)SPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocode RYM)Yokratom.com

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    53 mins
  • Iran Is Totally Cool Now
    May 29 2026

    Cold open news intro. Followed by the latest in Iran, the seeming DT walk back and you can totally trust them now, they learned their lesson after my spanking. After that we've got the latest nonsense news including Daylight Savings time, Trump Seeing A doctor and more. Closing out the show with NYC Gov supermarkets, Abrego Garcia charges dropped, cops writing tickets to handless drivers and Republican senators mad about the J6 Fun.

    Support the show: RobBernsteinComedy.com

    Porch Dates at: www.porchtour.com

    Submit a porch at: TheFireTix.com

    Merch at: Robbernsteinmerch.com

    Sponsors:

    YOkratom.com

    Sheath.com (Promocode:RYM)

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    55 mins