Low libido. Stress. Menopause questions. Orgasms that feel impossible. If any of that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

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In this solo Q&A episode of SIP With Summers, board-certified sexologist and menopause coach Jennifer Marie Summers answers your anonymous questions about desire, stress, orgasms, menopause, vaginal dryness, pain during sex, sleep issues, body hair, herpes disclosure, and so much more.

We talk about why anxiety kills desire, why foreplay matters more than you were ever taught, what’s actually happening in your body during perimenopause, and why not orgasming from penetration is completely normal.

You’ll learn:
• How to get in the mood without pills or supplements
• Why stress directly affects libido and arousal
• What helps with vaginal dryness and painful sex during menopause
• When fertility actually ends and what perimenopause really looks like
• Why so many women struggle to orgasm and what actually helps
• How to talk to partners about pleasure, STIs, and shame-free sex

This is sex education without judgment, medical shame, or whispering. You’re not broken. You might just need better information and support.

💬 Have a question you’re afraid to ask out loud?
Submit it anonymously at selfmadediva.com and it may be featured in a future episode.

Host: Jennifer Marie Summers, Board Certified Sexologist, Certified Sex Coach, menopause coach in training
Guest: Dr. Christine Hart Cress, DNP, APRN, WHNP-BC, MSCP. CEO of a telemedicine practice for midlife and menopause care, Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, Air Force veteran, co-host of The Dusty Muffin.

If your brain says “let’s get it on” but your body says “let me sleep,” this one’s for you. We talk responsive vs spontaneous desire, why faking orgasms backfires, how clitoral stimulation actually works, and what evidence-based options can help with arousal and orgasm in midlife. We dig into testosterone, Addyi, Vyleesi, vaginal estrogen, DHEA, lube and moisturizers, and the not-so-sexy basics that change everything like sleep and stress. The theme of the day is empowerment. You are not broken.

What we cover

• Why most medical training skipped sexual health and how that is changing

• The full clitoral anatomy and why penetration alone rarely does it

• Responsive vs spontaneous desire and how to work with both

• Tools that can help: vibrators, clitoral stimulators, and why solo practice matters

• Hormone therapy myths vs facts, plus when to consider transdermal options

• Testosterone for women, timelines, common dosing formats, and realistic expectations

• Addyi and Vyleesi basics, where they fit, and cost access tips discussed in the show

• Vaginal estrogen and DHEA for comfort, arousal, and orgasm support

• Why sleep, mood, strength training, and protein quietly drive libido

• The mindset shift that unlocks desire in midlife

Resources mentioned

• Vibrators and clitoral stimulators for blood flow and arousal

• Testosterone gel or compounded cream under clinician guidance

• Addyi and Vyleesi as options for certain women

• Vaginal estrogen and vaginal DHEA for GSM comfort and orgasm support

• Daily vulvar moisturizers and quality lubricants for pain-free play
  

  Talk to a qualified clinician to determine what is right for you.

  
  

Find Dr. Christine Cress
Telemedicine practice for midlife and menopause care
Co-host of The Dusty Muffin podcast
Boards: Bite Me Cancer Foundation, Empower Scholarship FundWebsite | Instagram | YouTube

Work with Jennifer
Sex and intimacy coaching for women and couples
Perimenopause and menopause coaching in training
Parties, workshops, and my podcast SIP With Summers

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Disclaimer
Educational content only. Not medical advice. Consult your own clinician.

midlife libido, perimenopause sex, menopause desire, clitoral anatomy, orgasm difficulty, testosterone for women, Addyi, Vyleesi, vaginal estrogen, DHEA, vibrator benefits, responsive desire

Welcome to SIP with Summers, the show where we talk about sex, intimacy, and pleasure. Today I’m joined by clinical sexologist and intimacy coach Dr. Stacy Friedman, host of The Purple Passion Project. We get real about orgasms, sexual energy, and how to trade performance pressure for pleasure.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The differences between clitoral, vaginal, cervical, anal, and blended orgasms

• Why sex is a transfer of energy and how to set an intention before you touch

• How to shift from performance to pleasure so anxiety drops, and desire rises

• Practical ways to stay in your body when your brain will not shut up

• Gentle first steps when sex is painful and how to advocate for your care

• Toys as teammates, masturbation as education, and orgasm confidence for life

Listener questions we answer:

• “Why does oral feel good but I cannot finish?”

• “Do different orgasms feel different and how do I know which one I had?”

• “I clamp down because the kids are home. How do I get a full release quietly?”

Resources mentioned:

• Dr. Stacy’s free PDF: Confessions and Lessons of a Sex Expert at DrStacyFriedman.com

• Podcast: The Purple Passion Project

• Follow Dr. Stacy everywhere: @drstacyfriedman

Connect with Jennifer:

• Instagram and TikTok: @theselfmadediva

• Coaching and intimacy products: SummersOfLove.com

• Podcast on YouTube

  
  

Please note: This show contains frank, sex-positive discussion for adults. If you are healing from sexual trauma, listen with care and take breaks as needed.

If this episode helped you, send it to a friend, rate the show, and leave a review. Pleasure loves company.

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