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In Episode 3 of Shay Unfiltered, “Let Men Be Men,” Shay and her fiancé Ryan tackle relationship roles, control, trust, and what can happen when one partner feels like they have to manage everything.

Shay opens up about her own experience of constantly carrying the mental load, from budgeting and paying bills to making household decisions, and how learning to give up some of that control changed their relationship. When Ryan took over their finances, Shay found herself feeling less anxious and overwhelmed, while Ryan felt trusted and motivated to take more responsibility and lead.

Drawing from lessons in Laura Doyle’s The Surrendered Wife and their own relationship, Shay and Ryan discuss how nagging, criticism, correcting, and constantly telling your partner how or when something should be done can slowly create resentment. They break down how seemingly insignificant arguments over dishes, toilet paper, driving, chores, or the “right” way to do something can eventually damage communication, attraction, and intimacy.

They also explore the difference between expressing what you want and trying to control how your partner delivers it. The episode challenges listeners to examine their own tone, expectations, and behavior and ask whether they’re giving their partner the trust, respect, and space they expect in return.

Sometimes strengthening a relationship isn’t about doing more. It’s about knowing when to stop controlling, start trusting, and let men be men.