What if the spotlight you feel in recovery… isn’t real?

In early recovery, the fear of judgment can feel like carrying a heavy backpack everywhere you go. You replay conversations. You assume people are watching. You wonder what they’re thinking. And that pressure alone is enough to push people back toward old patterns.

In Module 3: Overcoming the Fear of Judgment, we unpack why shame feels so powerful in recovery—and how to stop letting other people’s opinions control your choices.

This lesson breaks down:

-The Spotlight Effect and why it keeps people stuck

-How internal shame gets projected onto others

-Why it’s neurologically impossible to control what people think

-Mel Robbins’ truth that judgment exists no matter what you do

-How Let Them releases you from approval-seeking

-How Let Me helps you live in a way that builds self-respect

-Using the Frame of Reference to respond to family fear with compassion instead of defense

-Why making decisions to make others happy is a relapse risk

-How consistency—not arguments—rebuilds trust

💭 Honest question: Where do you notice fear of judgment influencing your recovery choices right now?

This video is part of the FREE Let Them Theory Recovery Course, available inside the Sober Not Boring App, where you’ll also get:

The downloadable Module 3 workbook

-Journaling prompts that help separate fear from facts

-Real-world recovery scenarios you’ll recognize immediately

-Discussion spaces to process this with others in recovery

📲 Download the Sober Not Boring App to enroll in the full course for FREE. Go to Menu → Media → Courses → The Let Them Theory. You don’t need anyone’s approval to stay sober. You need self-respect and tools that work in real life.

👇 Drop a comment: What’s one situation where fear of judgment has kept you quiet, small, or stuck?

Stay sober, not boring. www.sobernotboring.com

00:00 Introduction to Module Three 00:20 Understanding the Spotlight Effect 00:42 Facing Judgment and Neurological Insights 01:22 Applying the Theory in Real Life 01:41 Family Dynamics and Trust 03:04 Setting Boundaries and Self-Worth 04:06 Recap and Moving Forward #LetThemTheory #SoberNotBoring #EmotionalSobriety #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryMindset #ShameInRecovery #HealingFromShame #BoundariesInRecovery #PeerRecovery #AllPathwaysRecovery #MentalHealthInRecovery #SobrietySupport #RecoveryCommunity

Stress isn’t just annoying — it’s biological. And in recovery, that matters.

If you’ve ever snapped in traffic, lost it over a long line, or felt that familiar “I need to escape this feeling” urge after a stressful day… this module is for you.

In Module 2 of The Let Them Theory, we go beyond mindset and talk about what’s actually happening in your brain and body when stress hits — and why unmanaged stress is dangerous territory in recovery. This isn’t about “calming down” or “thinking positive.” This is about learning how to manually override your own nervous system when fight-or-flight takes over.

In this lesson, you’ll learn:

Why stress hijacks your rational brain and shuts down good decision-making

How the amygdala and prefrontal cortex impact relapse risk

Why “I just need to take the edge off” is really a stress response

How Let Them acts as a mental brake

How Let Me uses your breath to reset your nervous system

Practical, real-world examples (traffic, planes, work stress, feeling undervalued)

A simple stress audit to find where your energy is leaking

💭 Question for you: What’s one situation lately where stress pushed you closer to impulsive thinking?

This video is part of the FREE Let Them Theory Course, available inside the Sober Not Boring App, where you’ll also get: The downloadable Module 2 handout & workbook

Recovery-specific exercises and journaling prompts

Discussion spaces to process this with others in recovery

All modules unlocked at no cost

📲 Download the Sober Not Boring App and enroll in the full course for FREE. This is emotional sobriety for real life — not just theory.

👇 Drop a comment: Where does stress hit you the hardest right now — work, people, or daily life?

Stay sober, not boring. www.sobernotboring.com

00:00 Introduction to Stress in Recovery 00:05 Understanding the Biological Stress Response 00:12 The Importance of Manual Override 01:03 The Physiology of the Pivot: Let Them 01:42 The Physiology of the Pivot: Let Me 02:04 Applying the Pivot in Real-Life Scenarios 03:12 Stress Audit and Final Thoughts #LetThemTheory #SoberNotBoring #RecoveryTools #EmotionalSobriety #AddictionRecovery #StressInRecovery #NervousSystemRegulation #RelapsePrevention #PeerRecovery #AllPathwaysRecovery #MentalHealthInRecovery #SobrietySupport #RecoveryLife

You got sober… so why are you still exhausted?

If you’ve ever felt worn out trying to manage people’s moods, fix family dynamics, control how you’re perceived, or hold everything together just to stay sober — this video is for you.

In Module 1: The Foundation, we unpack a hidden relapse trigger most people never talk about: control. Not substances. Control. This is the moment where recovery shifts from white-knuckling to actually building something sustainable.

In this video, I break down:

Why putting down the substance is only halftime

How control disguises itself as “responsibility” in recovery

Why trying to manage people creates stress, resentment, and relapse risk

How Let Them and Let Me work together as surrender + action

A simple “brake pedal” tool you can use when your chest tightens and your mind spirals

💭 Real question: What would your life look like if you stopped managing everyone else’s reactions to your recovery?

This video is part of the FREE Let Them Theory Course inside the Sober Not Boring App, where you’ll get:

The full Module 1 handout and workbook Real recovery scenarios you can actually use

Discussion spaces to process this with others in recovery

All modules unlocked at no cost

📲 Download the Sober Not Boring App and enroll in the full course for FREE.

This is recovery for real life — not just meetings.

👇 Jump into the comments: Where do you notice control showing up in your recovery right now?

Stay sober, not boring. www.sobernotboring.com

#LetThemTheory #SoberNotBoring #RecoveryTools #EmotionalSobriety #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryLife #SoberLiving #MentalHealthInRecovery #RecoveryMindset #SobrietySupport #AllPathwaysRecovery #PeerRecovery #CCAR #RecoveryCoach #TraumaInRecovery #BoundariesInRecovery #LetGoAndGrow #HealingNotHustling #OneDayAtATime #recoverycommunity 00:00 Introduction to the Foundation 00:19 Understanding Control in Recovery 00:46 The Let Them Theory Explained 01:35 Applying the Let Them Theory 02:22 Power Dynamics and True Control 03:11 Practical Scenarios and Solutions 04:30 Reflection and Moving Forward