It's one of those weeks over at Spoilerpiece when one of us is pretty neutral about a movie, and the other is pretty irritated (by the movie; not, like, by life). Such is the quandary of ENOLA HOLMES 3. The Millie Bobby Brown-starring series about Sherlock Holmes younger sister is the kind of thing that makes Evan bristle, and makes Dave pretty - what's the word...noncommital?

One thing both Evan and Dave agree on: This movie has a lot of plot for a picture that's pretty short but feels pretty long ("More endings than RETURN OF THE KING," says Evan). eek! Not high praise. Over on Patreon, we watch FIRST BLOOD and RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II.

Given how many films have been made about WWII, it's impressive when one tells a new story, like Rod Lurie's action drama LUCKY STRIKE (1:47), which follows a wounded American soldier (Scott Eastwood) stranded behind enemy lines during the Battle of the Bulge. Scott Eastwood looks more like his dad, Clint, than he ever has, but unfortunately, looks don't mean he inherited his father's charisma. His blandness definitely hurts the movie. Also, its plot follows predictable beats, and not much is really surprising. However, its period accuracy, harrowing encounters with Nazis, and decent war set pieces make it surprisingly watchable. Evan and Dave are split on whether you should see it as well, so they come up with a new rating system for the show.

In the Patreon exclusive audio this week, Evan and Dave talk about TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE, the winner of our poll of movies with "America" or "American" in the title. It's a really fun conversation, so check it out, Patrons!

You know, sometimes you spend your young adulthood worshipping Satan, being a dirty heretic basking in the glory of His evil. And then, sometimes, inexplicably, you find God and dedicate your life to him. You even adopt a child and plan to raise her with a steady diet of God's love.

And then what does Satan do? HE SHOWS UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP IN THE GUISE OF A CHURCH GARGOYLE AND DECIDES IF HE CAN'T HAVE YOU, HE'S GOING TO POSSESS THE BABY! Satan: What a bastard. So now you have to spend your life with the child attached at your hip, praying the evil away. Meanwhile, the child grows into adulthood, marries some dude, and the dude is semi-infected by your evil and abuses your children, and...

Fuck it, it's nuttier than it sounds; just listen to us talk about THE VOICES OF OUR MOTHER (2:11) on the episode. Over on Patreon, Evan and Dave discuss the 1962 CAPE FEAR.

Steven Spielberg's aliens-are-among-us-and-we're-gonna-prove-it blockbuster is out, and Dave and Evan have seen it. And they liked it! Mostly! There are many odd choices in DISCLOSURE DAY (1:29), but also lots of things that are rather nifty, beginning with Emily Blunt's bravura performance. Over on Patreon, we talk about the 1995 anthology film FOUR ROOMS.

Not to be confused with SEVEN SAMURAI, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, SE7EN, or SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, it's SEVEN SNIPERS (2:53), a movie Dave proclaims is not a movie. It's a scenario. And sort of a good one. Just with some of the shittiest execution you've ever seen.

First, there's Radha Mitchell as a retired sniper raising her soon-to-be 16-year-old daughter on an isloated farm in Australia. Okay, no problems there. Second, there's word that a nasty AF sniper by played Tim Roth is coming for Mitchell in order to kill her and probably do something else that will be completely obvious to anyone who has ever watched a movie.

(Tim Roth as an elite sniper? As fine an actor as Roth is, he is neither Evan nor Dave's first choice to portray a killing machine. But whatever. Moving on.)

Third, Mitchell calls in a favor, and one of her old military chums brings himself and four other elite snipers to guard the farm. It begs the question: How much money does elite fomer sniper Mitchell have?

Fourth, ALL THESE ELITE SNIPERS STAND IN FRONT OF OPEN WINDOWS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT FOR THE ENTIRE RUNNING TIME. Fifth, enough. Just listen to us tear this thing apart.

Over on Patreon, we watch Chris Pine's directorial debute POOLMAN.

Well, we won't mince words: LADIES FIRST (3:37) is some bullshit. In fact, it may be the worst movie Evan and Dave have seen in 2026 (and we haven't forgotten DOOBA DOOBA). No, LADIES FIRST is a special kind of movie; it's absolutely thoughtless, largely devoid of wit, and it doesn't play by rules it sets for itself. Stars Sacha Baron Cohen and Rosamund Pike, and a largely well-known cast of English acting heavyweights, slum it. This movie is so bad it's kind of a miracle. And it also fails confidently, so take that and it thoughtlessness, and you have a truly mind-blowing piece of shit. Over on Patreon, we talk about Ben Affleck's THE TOWN.

This week Evan takes a trip George Lucasville with THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU (3:18) and Dave scratches his music itch with TUNER (24:08), about a piano tuner-turned-safecracker with the best sound design Dave has heard in a while. Over on Patreon, Dave and Evan talk about the asoblutely bonkers 1981 stalker film THE FAN, starring Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and a very young Michael Biehn.

This week Evan and Dave take in the latest movie that unfolds entirely on computer screens: LIFEHACK. As they both liked UNFRIENDED, SEARCHING, and MISSING, they were down to check out this different scenario, as no one is dead or missing or a ghost. Nah, in this iteration, the four main characters are trying to pull off a massive crypto heist. But the crypto in question is owned by a slimy totally-not-Jeff-Bezos-or-Elon-Musk dude, so needless to say security is tight, and if they get caught THERE MAY BE BLOOD (to coin a phrase). Oh, and there are lots of tangents in this episode. Over on Patreon, we discuss READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME, the sequel to...oh, just guess.