Essence and Emily dive deep into the often misunderstood concepts of validation and emotional regulation, offering tangible ways to improve your relationships and self-awareness. They kick off the episode by breaking down the crucial differences between hearing, listening, and true validation, while calling out the common, superficial phrases that usually backfire. Together, they explore how validation acts as a bid for connection—not agreement—and explain how a little curiosity can completely change the dynamic of a conversation.

The hosts also tackle the concept of emotional literacy, introducing a "thermometer" model to help gauge emotional intensity and build distress tolerance. From navigating hyper-literal social media trends during identity-prioritizing months to managing household chaos, Essence and Emily share practical strategies for sitting with difficult feelings without escalating. They close out the episode with their Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

00:00 Introduction to Validation and Relevance During Pride Month

2:13 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis

05:50 The Pitfalls of Superficial Validation

09:50 Connection vs. Agreement

14:05 Cultivating Curiosity and Avoiding Judgment

19:09 How Emotional Intensity Affects Responses

22:14 Distress Tolerance: Sitting With Your Feelings

24:45 Balancing Validation and Problem Solving

27:31 Recognizing and Responding to Bids for Validation

36:19 The Danger of Fake Consensus

43:40 External vs. Internal Validation

45:35 Navigating Challenging Conversations and Identity

46:25 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T

Essence and Emily continue to celebrate Pride and open episode nine with a “work wife, work overlord, work nemesis” game They then discuss research they conducted on queer icons. Essence shares facts about Marsha P. Johnson, including her “Pay It No Mind” middle initial, early gender expression, moving to New York at 18, Christian faith, activism connected to Stonewall, and co-founding STAR and STAR House with Sylvia Rivera to shelter unhoused trans youth. Emily focuses on James Obergefell and the events leading to Obergefell v. Hodges, describing how he and John Arthur sought marriage recognition in Ohio during Arthur’s ALS, their tarmac wedding in Maryland, the fight over the death certificate, and the 2015 Supreme Court decision. They reflect on bravery, education as resistance, and community. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

00:00 Welcome Back and Happy Pride

00:33 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis

06:05 Weekend Recording Energy

06:46 Researching Queer Icons

08:50 Marsha P Johnson

18:06 James Obergefell

26:25 Lessons on Bravery and Visibility

32:06 Pride, Joy, and Education

36:12 Self Worth vs Selfishness

39:25 Creating Change Without Reward

41:38 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T Segment

In episode eight of Talking Shoppe, psychologists and consultants Essence and Emily open by wishing everyone a happy Pride Month and playing “Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis”. They then discuss why Pride Month matters at work and in society, addressing polarization, corporate “rainbow washing,” and how celebrating marginalized identities can be misconstrued as taking space from others. They contrast equality and equity and argue that education about LGBTQ+ identities is not indoctrination. They reflect on vulnerability, the origins of Pride, the need for visibility and safe spaces, compulsory heterosexuality, and how many queer elders were lost. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. and a June 1 tradition of Rita’s gelatis with rainbow sprinkles.

00:06 Welcome Back and Happy Pride

00:29 Podcast Purpose and Vibe

01:23 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis

06:59 Pride Pushback and Rainbow Washing

10:18 Equity vs Equality Explained

14:03 Vulnerability and Connection

16:14 Why Pride Exists

20:01 Labels and Compulsory Heterosexuality

21:45 Pride Month Beyond Parades

24:37 Respecting Identity Differences

26:20 Curiosity Versus Bigotry

27:36 Vulnerability and Privilege

28:48 Why Pride Month Matters

33:30 Who Pride Is For

35:27 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

In Episode 7 of Talking Shoppe, Essence and Emily discuss busy weeks, and do their “work wife, work overlord, and work nemesis” segment. For their last Mental Health Awareness Month episode, they focus on why awareness without accurate education and application falls short, noting there’s no formal channel for learning mental health outside training for becoming a therapist. They connect workplace functioning to mental health through executive functioning, explain how stress disrupts frontal-lobe processes, and outline executive functions. They propose curriculum topics. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

00:00 Welcome Back Episode Seven

00:36 Life Updates

02:14 Work Wife, Work Overlord, and Work Nemesis

05:35 Mental Health Awareness Month

06:31 Awareness Versus Education

12:26 Training Without Application

15:20 Why Mental Health Matters

18:48 Executive Function

25:48 Emotion-Based Policies

27:36 Auditing Mental Load

31:32 Making Education Culture

32:47 Self Advocacy at Work

38:52 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

49:28 Wrap Up

In episode six of Talking Shoppe with Deming-Rivers Social Club, Essence and Emily open with their “work wife/work overlord/work nemesis” game. They continue their Mental Health Awareness Month revamp and focus on connection and community-building, prompted by a comment from a viewer. They discuss identity, values, code-switching, and how safety must be explicit, highlighting finding an affirming church that clearly welcomes LGBTQ+ people and helped them build community. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

00:00 Welcome Back Episode Six

00:53 Work Wife/Work Overlord/Work Nemesis

03:50 Revamping Mental Health Month Awareness Month

07:10 Why Connection Matters

09:04 Identity Values And Community

10:44 Code Switching And Reinvention

13:04 Finding Friends

20:59 Finding Harvest

22:49 Safety Builds Community

24:07 Beyond Awareness to Connection

26:42 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T

37:39 Wrap Up and Thanks

Emily and Essence return to Talking Shoppe noting that they skipped recording last week to protect their mental health during Mental Health Awareness Month. After a “work wife, work nemesis, or work overlord” game. They discuss how awareness months often stop at posts and slogans without creating foundational change. They debate whether “stigma” is overstated compared to lack of access, citing barriers like long waitlists, poor-quality care experiences, and insurance complexity that disproportionately impact marginalized groups, and argue the month should emphasize education, assessment, action, connection, advocacy, and system accountability. They share underrated and overrated mental health tools. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. segment.

00:00 Welcome Back

01:31 Work Wife, Work Nemesis, or Work Overlord

06:11 Awareness Versus Action

08:02 Stigma Or Access Debate

17:09 Grassroots and Systemic Change

23:12 Underrated vs. Overrated Coping Skills

30:39 Choosing Coping Skills

31:50 Beyond Awareness Month

33:26 Mental Health Month Takeaways

34:58 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T Segment

41:15 Wrap Up

Emily and Essence are back for Episode Four of Talking Shoppe! After “Work wife, Work Nemesis, and Work Overlord” segment, they unpack the concept of self-care as well as the misconceptions of self-care. They discuss how hormone fluctuations can affect productivity and emotion regulation, critique workplaces offering “self-care” when people are already at a breaking point, and distinguish proactive self-care from reactive coping. They compare their different self-care frameworks, including neurodivergent prioritization, internal monologue differences, access and routines, and how chronic illness changes capacity. They close with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T segment.

00:00 Welcome Back Chaos

01:33 Self Care Preview

01:53 Work Wife, Work Nemesis, Work Overlord

07:36 Hormones And Capacity

09:15 Self Care Vs Coping

15:12 Why Self Care Fails

19:24 Neurodiverse Needs

22:08 Task Vs Fuel

25:55 Connection vs Self Care

27:33 Chronic Illness Capacity

28:16 Quiet Minds Loud Minds

30:42 Lowering Care Barriers

31:41 Measuring Your Battery

37:40 Prescribed Self Care Problem

39:46 Top Self Care Rotations

43:49 What We Learned Today

45:51 The Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T

Essence and Emily introduce their weekly “Talking Shop” podcast and a recurring segment choosing a work wife, work overlord, and work nemesis. They discuss trauma-informed care in organizations, highlighting that many workplaces stop at acknowledging trauma and struggle to build skills and systems as well as the psychological safety needed to support people under pressure. They define trauma and distinguish trauma from PTSD criteria, and noting overlooked “margin” traumas. They critique performative approaches like posters, certifications, rigid policies, KPIs over wellbeing, and individualizing protective factors, offering examples like flexible scheduling, role clarity, validation, follow-through, and designing to reduce barriers. They close as always with their weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.

00:00 Welcome to Talking Shoppe

00:36 Why We Started This

01:24 Work Wife, Work Overlord, Work Nemesis

06:25 Trauma Informed Care

08:32 What Trauma Really Means

12:55 Designing For The Margins

15:02 Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

19:15 Workplace Culture Gap

23:50 Certifications Versus Systems

27:53 Stop Adding Fuel

31:22 Behavior Function in Leadership

34:33 Connection and Follow Through

38:56 Self Awareness and Impact

40:27 People Over Policy

45:54 Trauma Informed as Mindset

48:32 Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T