Welcome to Sunday Brunch — a new TWTP format where Emily and Courtney invite a friend to the table to talk about the thing that's eating all of us at the same time. For our first one, we called in Becky Smith.

Becky is Emily's longtime close friend, a healthcare provider, and — most importantly for today — a woman who, within the span of about four months, dropped her only son off at college, watched her feisty 82-year-old mother fall twice (once at Becky's own house, once days after college drop-off), and became the sole long-distance caregiver for a mother who's also the primary caregiver for Becky's sister. In other words: Becky is the sandwich generation, and she's doing it mostly solo.

Emily's mom Jan took a bad fall six years ago and never fully bounced back. Dad is the primary caregiver. Emily lives in Seattle, siblings are in Colorado, and the weight of the "set up systems that don't stick" cycle is real. Courtney and her husband Jonathan recently moved his dad in with them — Lewis Body dementia, Parkinson's — and discovered that purpose and panic can live in the same house, sometimes at 6 a.m. in the front yard in their underwear.

What this conversation actually is: three women telling the truth about caring for the people who raised us. The grief before the loss. The specific rage of setting up a care team that your mom then fires in a week. The gift of being able to show up in person vs. the exhaustion of long-distance coordination. The reminder, delivered quietly and perfectly by Emily partway through: this is their first and only time on this planet too — and they are lucky to have gotten this far.

A gentle reminder to grieve the role change out loud, to let yourself cry when it happens instead of filing it away for later, and to approach your parent as the human they are, not the problem to be managed. We don't solve it. We just come to the table.

If you're in it right now, some things to look into:

• Support groups for caregivers — there's one for whatever you're facing, and most now meet on Zoom. Try the Family Caregiver Alliance (caregiver.org), AARP's caregiver resources (aarp.org/caregiving), or search "[your parent's condition] caregiver support group" to find one specific to what you're walking through.
• Home-based care through Medicare / Medicaid — ask your parent's primary care doctor to connect you with a home health coordinator, or search for home-care programs in their state. Courtney's family worked with Carilion Clinic's home care team in Virginia; your region will have an equivalent.
• Alzheimer's Association 24/7 helpline: 1-800-272-3900
• Eldercare Locator (US): 1-800-677-1116

Follow the show:
📧 thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com
🌐 https://thatwasnttheplan.com
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5RNnSi4FzNM3HbTpFErYgP
🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/that-wasnt-the-plan/id1868758889
▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@That_Wasnt_The_Plan
📱 Instagram: @thatwasnttheplan_podcast
🎵 TikTok: @that_wasnt_the_plan

If today's episode made you feel less alone — please rate, review, and share it with the friend who's also in the thick of it. That's the whole point.

#ThatWasntThePlan #TWTPPodcast #SundayBrunch #SandwichGeneration #CaregiverSupport #AgingParents #GenX #CaregivingJourney #Dementia #LewisBodyDementia #AdultChildrenOfAgingParents #MidlifePodcast #WomenPodcasters #CaregiverBurnout #CaregivingAndCommunity #StoryDrivenPodcast

Support the show

No guest this week — just Emily and Courtney, a rainy day, some research, and an hour of the purest content this podcast has ever produced: animals doing extraordinary things for humans, for each other, and sometimes just because.

This one started with the 9/11 anniversary, a story about rescue dogs, and a myth about beavers keeping a little boy warm. It ended with a dolphin in New Zealand talking two stranded whales home to open ocean. In between: lions in Ethiopia, a sea lion off the Golden Gate Bridge, a gorilla named Binti Jua, a parrot named Willie, a pot-bellied pig named Lulu, a 22-pound rabbit named Dory, an elephant named Ning Yang, and Courtney's late Chihuahuas Rooster and Dwayne Taylor Brown, who woke her up before an earthquake in LA and remain legendary.

• A merch announcement: Emily is compiling 35 episodes of best lines and you get to vote. WWBJD bracelets are already on the list

"Do it for Binti." — Emily White, 2025

📎 Documentaries mentioned:

• 🐋 Fathom — whale communication documentary, highly recommended
• 🌉 The Bridge — documentary about the Golden Gate Bridge. Heavy. Interesting. Not for everyone.

🔒 STANDARD CLOSING

💌 Have an animal story that blew your mind? We want it. Email us at thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com or visit thatwasnttheplan.com

📲 Find us on Instagram | TikTok | YouTube — search @thatwasnttheplan

🎧 If this one made your day — subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a reason to smile today.

That wasn't the plan, and we will talk to you next week. K bye. 🐾

Support the show

Everything you think you know about human trafficking is probably wrong.

Dena Smiley is Chairman of the Board at Blazing Hope Ranch — a Tennessee-based Christian residential ministry that provides free two-year aftercare, equine-assisted healing, job training, and (for every graduate) a donated car and support finding a home, all for women over 30 who have survived sex trafficking. In 2025, Blazing Hope became the first gold-standard-certified safe house in the state of Tennessee.

Dena didn't plan any of this. She grew up in suburban Southern California, went to UC San Diego, got a master's in social work from the University of Denver, and spent 15+ years as a clinical social worker. In 1994, she smuggled Bibles by bicycle across the border from Hong Kong into mainland China. In 2019 she started going to Nicaragua on medical mission trips into the brothels of the third-poorest country in the southern hemisphere. In 2021 she moved her family to Tennessee (yes, she Googled "most conservative states"), turned 50, and showed up sight unseen with her three kids to volunteer at a horse camp for kids at risk of being trafficked. By that fall she was on the board. By last summer she was running it.

This is the education episode you didn't know you needed. Dena, Emily, and Courtney walk through: the recruitment tactic that isn't a white van (it's an "affluent straight-A student" and a guy behind her at a basketball game offering to introduce her to his tattoo-artist buddy); the "Blossom the Butterfly" curriculum from the Philippines that Blazing Hope uses to teach 8-to-13-year-olds about grooming without scaring them; why traffickers spike around the Super Bowl; why familial trafficking and intimate-partner recruitment are the dominant patterns (not kidnapping); the five biggest myths about who gets trafficked and where; and the warning signs to actually watch for in your community.

Also: horses as emotional mirrors, why every Blazing Hope graduate gets a car, and the kindest thing anyone has ever done for Dena (it involves a haircut).

Ways to help — beyond Blazing Hope Ranch:

🌾 Blazing Hope Ranch — Dayton, TN — BlazingHopeRanch.org
🎟️ Hootenanny for Hope — Thursday, Oct 16 at 6pm — Bryan College, Dayton, TN — free to attend, register at BlazingHopeRanch.org/events

Hotlines to know:

• 📞 National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888 (24/7, 200+ languages)
• 📱 Text HELP or INFO to 233733 (BeFree)
• 📞 Tennessee Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-855-55-TNHTH (86484)
• 📞 DHS Report a Tip: 1-866-347-2423
• 🚨 Emergency: 911
• 📞 National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: 1-800-THE-LOST (843-5678)

Other trafficking organizations doing the work:

• Polaris Project — polarisproject.org
• International Justice Mission — ijm.org
• Shared Hope International — sharedhope.org
• ECPAT-USA — ecpatusa.org
• Thistle Farms (Nashville, TN — survivor employment) — thistlefarms.org
• Street Hope TN — streethopetn.org
• Seattle Against Slavery — seattleagainstslavery.org
• REST (Real Escape from the Sex Trade, Seattle) — iwantrest.com

Follow the show:
📧 thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com
🌐 https://thatwasnttheplan.com
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5RNnSi4FzNM3HbTpFErYgP
🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/that-wasnt-the-plan/id1868758889
▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@That_Wasnt_The_Plan
📱 Instagram: @thatwasnttheplan_podcast
🎵 TikTok: @that_wasnt_the_plan

If today's episode moved you, please rate, review, and share. Awareness is protection.

#ThatWasntThePlan #TWTPPodcast #HumanTraffickingAwareness #EndTrafficking #ChildProtection #GroomingAwareness #BlazingHopeRanch #FaithBasedNonprofit #EquineTherapy #Tennessee #Nonprofit #SafeHouse #ProtectKids #ParentAwareness #StoryDrivenPodcast

Support the show