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That's Where I'm At

That's Where I'm At

Written by: Laura Richards
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Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that's messy, real, and truly inspiring!2023 Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Self-Help Success
Episodes
  • EP 103: How a Marriage Slowly Chips Away at Who You Are — Mia Hanks on Narcissistic Abuse

    EP 103: How a Marriage Slowly Chips Away at Who You Are — Mia Hanks on Narcissistic Abuse
    Oct 14 2026
    After 29 years of marriage, Mia Hanks began to see the relationship differently when a couples' therapist told her she couldn't help her husband—and he left believing he'd "won" therapy. On That's Where I'm At, Mia shares how she slowly recognized the control and self-doubt beneath the surface, why fear and financial dependence made leaving complicated, and how she ultimately found a way out of the marriage to a covert narcissist. In 2024, Mia published her award-winning memoir, Bride-Made, which chronicles her journey from being groomed by a narcissist to recognizing the toxic relationship, escaping, and reclaiming her self-worth. She also discusses her husband's threats of self-harm, frightening behavior behind the wheel, and the money she says was hidden during their divorce. Today, Mia is passionate about raising awareness of narcissistic abuse and helping other survivors find their voices, rebuild their confidence, and begin their own journeys toward healing. Key Topics & Timestamps Mia's memoir and its purpose (00:00:00) Mia explains how her memoir portrays the subtle, gradual erosion of identity in a relationship with a narcissist. Podcast introduction and content warning (00:00:34) Laura introduces the show's focus on sharing stories of abuse and healing; listeners are cautioned about potentially triggering subjects. Introducing Mia and her memoir (00:01:32) Laura welcomes Mia, describing her 29-year marriage, escape, and award-winning memoir, Bride Maid. Why Mia chose to share her story (00:02:53) Mia discusses discovering narcissistic abuse and hoping her story helps others recognize they can leave. Financial control and barriers to leaving (00:04:51) Mia and Laura discuss restricted access to money, legal costs, and financial challenges during divorce. How abuse undermines confidence (00:09:08) They describe feeling incapable after years of criticism, along with the hope and trauma bond that can keep someone attached. Mia's gradual realization and couples therapy (00:12:52) Mia recalls recognizing the relationship was unhealthy and a therapist confronting her husband's lack of self-awareness. Private therapy and validation to leave (00:18:40) Mia secretly consults the therapist, who validates her concerns and encourages her to leave safely. Finding the opportunity to leave (00:19:54) Mia explains how deteriorating health, adult children, and selling the family home helped her decide to leave. Separation, divorce, and retaliation (00:22:18) Mia describes moving in with her parents, her husband's changing behavior, and his efforts to leave her financially vulnerable. Breadcrumbs, guilt, and emotional blackmail (00:28:42) They discuss promises to draw a partner back, guilt about leaving, and threats of self-harm as emotional manipulation. Threats, safety, and physical intimidation (00:31:12) Mia describes a gun-related threat; they discuss taking threats seriously and recognizing dangerous behaviors. Erratic driving and unpredictable outbursts (00:34:05) Mia and Laura reflect on reckless driving, intimidation, and how minor incidents can trigger frightening reactions. Peace after leaving and divorce finances (00:36:50) Mia explains choosing peace over a fair financial settlement; Laura shares lessons about legal representation and hidden assets. Mia's memoirs and healing journey (00:42:28) Mia describes her first memoir about life with a narcissist and a follow-up about recovery. Raising awareness and finding support (00:43:18) Mia discusses her books, social media, speaking, and the importance of trauma-informed support. Closing and where to find Mia (00:46:01) Laura thanks Mia, shares her website and book information, and asks listeners to review and support the podcast. Podcast sign-off (00:47:15) Laura thanks listeners and invites them to share feedback and return for the next episode. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Mia, "It's not every day [that] there are big dramatic things. It's just the little things, the little chipping away at who you are—and what that looks like from the inside." Mia, "The door's open. I mean, I can walk out that door any time, but it's all of the mental stuff." Mia, "I just need to take a mental break. I'm going to go stay with my parents for a while and clear my head. Days turned to weeks, turned to months, and I didn't come back." Laura, "They have trained us to feel bad for any decisions we're making that would involve us. The first thing I thought when I walked into the bedroom after saying I wanted a divorce was, 'Oh my God, I hope he doesn't get mad at me.'" Mia, "I walked away from a lot of money. But now I have peace, and you can't put a price tag on peace." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://...
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    48 mins
  • EP 102: "You Can't Make Sense of Insanity": Beth Wilson on Trusting Your Gut After Narcissistic Abuse

    EP 102: "You Can't Make Sense of Insanity": Beth Wilson on Trusting Your Gut After Narcissistic Abuse
    Oct 7 2026
    56 mins
  • EP 101: From People-Pleasing to Self-Trust with Melanie Gore

    EP 101: From People-Pleasing to Self-Trust with Melanie Gore
    Sep 30 2026
    At a San Francisco beach, Melanie Gore thought she was having a panic attack—until the feeling turned into laughter, and she recognized joy she'd never felt before. On That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Melanie, a Certified Hypnotherapist, Women's Confidence Specialist, RTT Practitioner, and Life Coach who helps women overcome anxiety, codependency, narcissistic relationships, limiting beliefs, and ADHD-related emotional challenges. Melanie shares her own transformation through RTT and how it inspired her to help women rebuild confidence, trust themselves, and create lives they genuinely love. Together, Laura and Melanie explore childhood patterns, codependency, rediscovering your identity, and practical ways to build self-trust through small, everyday changes. Key Topics & Timestamps Introduction and content warning (00:00:00) Melanie describes choosing positivity and going with life's changes; Laura introduces the podcast and warns about potentially triggering topics. Melanie's path to hypnotherapy and personal growth (00:01:31) Melanie explains how codependency, self-help, and therapy led her to train in Rapid Transformational Therapy and help others. Recognizing codependency and rebuilding self-worth (00:04:29) Melanie discusses childhood patterns, people-pleasing, and learning to accept herself rather than seek others' approval. Boundaries, identity, and narcissistic relationship patterns (00:13:05) They explore self-love, repeated relationship dynamics, shifting goalposts, and the value of time alone to rediscover identity. Midlife freedom, confidence, and starting over (00:18:18) Laura and Melanie reflect on reclaiming personal choices, trying new things, and building a life that feels authentic. Recognizing abuse and deciding what comes next (00:23:06) Melanie shares how she discovered joy and emphasizes readiness, self-trust, and choosing whether to remain in an unhealthy relationship. Living alone and rediscovering interests (00:29:54) They discuss fear of loneliness, rebuilding friendships and hobbies, and treating discomfort or experimentation as opportunities to grow. Therapy tools and practical self-support strategies (00:35:09) Melanie describes her RTT process, inner-child work, self-affirmation, journaling, and practicing kinder self-talk. Changing thought patterns and setting boundaries (00:38:06) Melanie outlines ways to challenge old beliefs, trust intuition, communicate confidently, and avoid absorbing hurtful comments. Childhood patterns, parenting, and family healing (00:43:18) They discuss changing inherited behaviors, apologizing to adult children, and allowing family members to do their own healing. Where to find Melanie and episode closing (00:50:01) Laura shares Melanie's website and social links, recommends RTT, thanks her guest, and closes the podcast. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Melanie, "I was trying to fit in in a way that other people would accept me. And when I got to the place of 'I'm okay with who I am, I like who I am, I'm a good person,' then I started to blossom." Melanie, "You end up with no sense of who you are left. You're just like this empty vessel, and you're trying so hard to understand why you can never get it right." Melanie, "The biggest shift, I think, is when you get to spend some time on your own and get to decide who you are and who you want to be." Melanie, "That first third was kind of my parents. The second third was my kids. And now this part is for me. And that's exciting." Melanie Gore, "You're not a different person. You've just started to find out who you are." RESOURCES: FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/ INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW MELANIE: WEBSITE: www.melaniegore.com INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/transformational_hypnosis FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/MelanieGoreHypnotherapy YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@MelanieGore-ConfidenceCoach "Reclaiming yourself begins when you find the courage to name your truth and choose your own path." This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission. Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.
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    52 mins
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