Shane and Braden discuss why “validation first, accountability second” helps neurodivergent kids and adults regulate and stay receptive. Shane shares a moment with his seven-year-old son, who escalated when corrected until Shane paused to hear that it was an accident; once heard, his son calmed down and could still engage with consequences. Braden recounts advocacy at his son’s school during IEP setup after repeated “red days,” where staff assumed intent behind accidental hitting tied to poor proprioception and misunderstood affectionate behavior as choking. They connect these patterns to the double empathy problem (Damian Milton) and ADHD justice sensitivity research (Bondu & Esser, 2015), emphasizing that hearing the “why” isn’t excusing behavior. They teach mirroring versus reframing, encourage calm, explicit conversations with partners about being heard versus fixing, and note therapy may help build this skill over time. You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com

You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com.

Shane and Braden discuss becoming fathers before understanding their ADHD, describing the “gap” of parenting with shame, inconsistency, hyperfocus, and emotional dysregulation. They reflect on relief followed by grief after diagnosis, the harm caused by missed follow-through and angry reactions, and how kids experience outcomes rather than intent. They emphasize that diagnosis provides language and information but not a cure, and that progress requires using it through medication, therapy, community, and supportive partners; unsupportive relationships can deepen shame and damage. They explore generational patterns, coping mechanisms like alcohol or conflict avoidance, and the importance of apologizing, repairing, and modeling persistence rather than perfection. Be sure to check out the episode on the importance of therapy for neurodivergent fathers here: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-9bmi4-1a88d64

And if you are looking for support from men who understand your struggles, check out the Men's ADHD Support Group: https://mensadhdsupportgroup.org

You can find Shane at https://creatingorderfromchaos.com and you can find Braden at https://empoweradhdsolutions.com

00:00 Welcome to DadDHD 00:30 Late Diagnosis Dad Guilt 02:31 Hyperfocus as a Gift 04:51 When Follow Through Fails 06:04 Emotional Dysregulation RSD 06:55 Shame and Masculinity Traps 08:26 Getting Diagnosed Getting Tools 09:50 Partners Healing or Wounding 15:01 Breaking the Generational Cycle 18:50 Repair Over Perfection 21:10 Support Group and Legacy 22:14 Final Takeaways and Outro

Hey -- before we get into it, we owe you a quick apology. Life got away from us. Things have picked up on both ends, and we dropped the ball on getting new content out. We're back, and we're glad you're still here.

This week we're talking about something that sounds simple and isn't: rest. Not sleep. Not stopping. Actual rest -- and why neurodivergent brains are wired to fight it, guilt-trip themselves over it, and then crash hard when they finally can't avoid it anymore. Shane and Braden dig into why ADHD and AuDHD dads tend to treat rest like a reward they haven't earned yet, why that logic is broken, and what it actually looks like to build rest into your life as a system instead of a last resort. This isn't about slowing down. It's about understanding why your brain runs hot, why it needs different kinds of downtime than a neurotypical brain does, and why rest -- real rest -- is one of the most productive things you can do for yourself, your kids, and everyone who depends on you.

You can find Shane Thrapp at www.creatingorderfromchaos.com

You can find Braden Young at www.empoweradhdsolutions.com