In this episode of The Fire You Carry, Nole and Kevin dive deep into a subtle but damaging trap of fatherhood and marriage: the default phrase, "we'll see."

Why is it that men can be incredibly decisive, clear, and direct on the fireground, but the moment they walk through the front door, they turn into passive politicians? The guys break down why "we'll see" isn't actually a gentle answer; it's a "soft-ass no" that breeds anxiety in our kids and leaves an unfair mental load on our wives.

Before hitting the core topic, Kevin shares an update on his daughters braving massive 8-foot ocean swells at Junior Lifeguards, and celebrates Captain Josh Nessa completely dominating a massive police and fire powerlifting competition at age 44. Plus, the guys share practical communication hacks like the firehouse 4-3-2-1 elimination method to help you stop stalling, take the lead, and let your yes be yes.

Big thank you to My Epic and Facedown Records for the use of their song "Hail" in our podcast!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz2RZThURTU&ab_channel=FacedownRecords

The Fire You Carry on YouTube.

Sign up for a class at The Fire Up Program!
https://www.fireupprogram.com/programs

The Fire Up Progam video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I__ErPW46Ec&t=12s&ab_channel=FireUpProgram

The Fire You Carry Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/thefireyoucarry/

Donate to The Fire Up Program.
https://www.fireupprogram.com/donate

The Fire Up Program Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/fireup_program/

Kevin's Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/kevinpwelsh/?hl=en

What happens when a lifetime spent fighting fires turns into a fight for your own survival?

In this incredibly raw and moving episode of The Fire You Carry, Kevin and Nole sit down with recently retired LA County Fire Captain Fred Barbosa. Over a 31-year career, Fred saw the landscape of the fire service change dramatically, culminating in the ultimate milestone of pinning his own son at graduation. But shortly after, Fred faced an entirely different kind of test: a diagnosis of Stage 3 colon cancer.

Fred pulls no punches as he describes the physical grit and psychological warfare required to survive aggressive chemotherapy, radiation, and the "mind-numbing" pain of recovery. He shares how the structured discipline of Fireground Survival (FGS) training unexpectedly provided the exact mental framework he needed to endure the darkest nights of his treatment.

More than a survival story, this conversation is a masterclass in shifting from trauma to post-traumatic growth. Fred discusses the power of a simple text message from a brother, the vital role of faith, and why he is now dedicating his retirement to partnering with national organizations like Struggle Well and the Cancer Support Network to help walk other first responders home.

Whether you are on the job, supporting someone through a medical battle, or looking for blueprint on how to build an unbreakable mindset, Fred’s story is a profound reminder that "we do hard things."

Big thank you to My Epic and Facedown Records for the use of their song "Hail" in our podcast!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz2RZThURTU&ab_channel=FacedownRecords

The Fire You Carry on YouTube.

Sign up for a class at The Fire Up Program!
https://www.fireupprogram.com/programs

The Fire Up Progam video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I__ErPW46Ec&t=12s&ab_channel=FireUpProgram

The Fire You Carry Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/thefireyoucarry/

Donate to The Fire Up Program.
https://www.fireupprogram.com/donate

The Fire Up Program Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/fireup_program/

Kevin's Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/kevinpwelsh/?hl=en

Nole and Kevin dive straight into the "Summer Shred" mentality and debate whether fitness cycles should revolve around looking good at the beach or staying functional for real-world demands. Pulling back the curtain on the Fire Up Program, they address the common barriers from fitness intimidation to the faith factor that keep men from signing up. Whether it's drinking a gallon of milk a day to escape "victim weight" or finding the bravery to step into a tub of ice, this episode is a raw look at what it takes to break out of your comfort zone, duplicate success, and build a lasting brotherhood.

Key Discussion Points

• The Summer Shred vs. Peak Fitness: Why our bodies naturally want to "level up" in the spring and summer, and how Nole builds his seasonal training around the grueling physical demands of brush fire season.
• The GOMAD Protocol & "Victim Weight": Kevin shares an old-school powerlifting story from the fire station about the "Gallon of Milk a Day" regimen and the distinct difference between aesthetic show muscle and true functional strength.
• Dismantling the Fire Up Fear Factor: Addressing the top anxieties that hold men back from attending a retreat—including fear of a "boot camp" physical beatdown, hesitation around faith-based discussions, and the psychological weight of the unknown.
• The Ice Bath Epiphany: Why the most universally dreaded challenge of the weekend consistently transforms into a massive psychological victory and a favorite takeaway for first-timers.
• Stop Reinventing the Wheel: The power of duplicating success by surrounding yourself with a tribe of men who are already winning in their marriage, their fitness, and their faith.
• Looking Forward: A look ahead to the upcoming October session and the 25th Anniversary 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb family event.

Links & Resources Mentioned

• Prep and Defend: Chris Ruano’s periodization training program.
• The Fire Up Program: Information, scholarship requests, and sign-ups for the upcoming retreat (October 2–4).
• 9/11 Memorial Stair Climb: Keep an ear out for upcoming details on the 25th-anniversary family memorial event.

Big thank you to My Epic and Facedown Records for the use of their song "Hail" in our podcast!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz2RZThURTU&ab_channel=FacedownRecords

The Fire You Carry on YouTube.

Sign up for a class at The Fire Up Program!
https://www.fireupprogram.com/programs

The Fire Up Progam video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I__ErPW46Ec&t=12s&ab_channel=FireUpProgram

The Fire You Carry Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/thefireyoucarry/

Donate to The Fire Up Program.
https://www.fireupprogram.com/donate

The Fire Up Program Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/fireup_program/

Kevin's Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/kevinpwelsh/?hl=en