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The New Fatherhood

The New Fatherhood

Written by: Kevin Maguire
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"Like one big group text with other guys fumbling their way through fatherhood." — Esquire

www.thenewfatherhood.orgKevin Maguire Parenting Relationships Self-Help Success
Episodes
  • Fatherhood Killed My Ego, with SOHN

    Fatherhood Killed My Ego, with SOHN
    Jul 16 2026
    We all carry around an idea of success—the job promotion we crave, the car that’ll make strangers on the street crane their necks in jealousy, the beautiful house that turns visitors quiet as they walk through the front door. Fewer ask where these ideas come from. Mostly, they’re absorbed from our parents, from culture, and from the other dads we compare ourselves to without meaning to.We spend our lives chasing these ghosts. But nobody warns you what’s on the other side—what might happen if you get everything you wanted and end up feeling hollow. For this month’s podcast, I sat down with my good friend Toph—known to the rest of the world as SOHN, the British artist and producer behind the albums Tremors and Trust. SOHN signed a record deal with 4AD, played Coachella and the late-night US TV circuit, and has spent well over a decade living the “artist dream” while raising three boys. Six years ago, we met in the lift of a Barcelona hotel, and eventually bonded over something neither of us saw coming: an episode of depression after the birth of our second child.We pulled each other through that dark time, with long walks and honest conversations. Just before the launch of his fourth album Albadas (Dawn Songs), we sat down in his studio to talk about all of it. This is the most honest conversation about success, money and creative identity I’ve ever heard from a dad in the public eye. We talk about his five-year creative block, the album that only arrived when he stopped writing as SOHN and started writing as a dad, what it does to your head when your creative output is tied to the food you put on your kids’ plates—and why, when what he was chasing turned out to be a trap, he sold the dream house, killed the ego he’d spent so long protecting, and started again.Listen and Subscribe On …SpotifyApple PodcastsYouTubePocket CastsWhere to Find SOHN* SOHN’s website* His new ambient album Albadas (Dawn Songs)—stream it everywhere or grab the limited vinyl/CD on Bandcamp* Trust—the album we discuss throughout, drenched in themes of fatherhood* Follow him on InstagramEpisode References* Trust (2022)—SOHN’s third album, written after a five-year block* Tremors (2014) and “The Wheel”—where the world first heard SOHN* The Streets—the Mike Skinner problem: what do you write about when the drama’s gone?* Oasis, Be Here Now—the Rolls-Royce in the swimming pool* Elliott Smith and Nick Drake—and the myth of great art made in depression* Kevin’s essay: “How to Raise Tiny Humans Without Losing Your Mind”—The Tunnel, and coming out of it at five yearsTimestamps0:00 — a new definition of success0:46 — a conversation between good friends2:01 — the fantasy of the artistic dream4:14 — neck pain and stress7:09 — what shocked SOHN about fatherhood: patience, autonomy, silence8:50 — from one kid to two kids12:58 — paternal postnatal depression14:51 — great artist vs. stable force: the identity collision18:44 — the five-year creative block20:42 — having nothing to say22:26 — Tundra, the record nobody heard24:20 — early struggling musician days25:06 — the buffet of success27:57 — signing with the guy whose music he hated31:52 — losing the compass33:42 — depression as a weather system35:13 — the myth of making great art while depressed36:51 — at peace with the kids, at war with yourself39:28 — the head f**k of creative money: “we’re screwed” to “we’re rich” overnight44:04 — selling the dream house47:27 — imposter syndrome49:25 — Trust: giving up as a creative strategy53:39 — when the fears came true55:39 — the ego death journey58:33 — listen up, parents: it gets easier1:00:34 — where are all my friends?1:05:34 — alternative to climbing the social ladder1:07:03 — three boys watch their dad on stageCreditsHost: Kevin MaguireManaging Producer: Elizabeth Van BrocklinSound Editor: Sam WilliamsTheme Music: SOHN Get full access to The New Fatherhood at www.thenewfatherhood.org/subscribe
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    1 hr and 10 mins
  • Think Like A Kid Again, with Austin Kleon

    Think Like A Kid Again, with Austin Kleon
    Jun 12 2026
    For a hundred years, parents attempting to undertake creative endeavours have had a ready-made excuse, courtesy of Cyril Connolly: “The enemy of art is the pram in the hall.”Kids, the thinking goes, are where creativity goes to die. But Austin Kleon thinks Connolly got it exactly backwards.This month on the podcast, I sat down with Austin—author of the New York Times bestselling trilogy Steal Like an Artist, Show Your Work and Keep Going—to talk about his new book, Don’t Call It Art: 10 Ways to Create Like a Kid Again. This book is a love letter to his two sons, and a collection of everything they taught him about creativity.Austin spent his career helping people tap into their creative potential, Then his kids arrived, and he realised he wasn’t the teacher anymore. He was, in his words, “the apprentice to the beginners,” the studio assistant in his own home, saving the drawings, keeping the paper trail, and watching two small artists figure out how to “let it rip.”We talk about why children aren’t an obstacle to your creative life but an opportunity for it to grow, the gentle art of benevolent neglect, and how watching your kids create might be the best way to quiet your own inner critic—and re-parent the artist you used to be.Subscribe to the Podcast* Spotify* Apple Podcasts* YouTube* Pocket CastsWhere to Find Austin Kleon* Buy Don’t Call it Art* Read his blog, especially the parenting tag* Subscribe to his newsletter* Follow him on InstagramEpisode ReferencesBooks & Essays* The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything by Sir Ken Robinson* The Idle Parent Manifesto by Tom Hodgkinson* Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman* Several Short Sentences About Writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg* 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time To Write by Sarah Ruhl* The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson* Hold Still: A Memoir with Photographs by Sally Mann* Playing With My Son by Andy Baio* Heidi’s Horse by Sylvia Fein* American Elf by James KochalkaFeatured Artists, Musicians & Innovators* John Baldessari – The legendary conceptual artist whose revolutionary “Post-Studio Art” teaching style shaped a generation of creators.* Creative Growth: Childhood to Maturity at MoMA – The historic 1939 solo exhibition tracking artist Dahlov Ipcar’s development from a young child to an adult.* Lynda Barry – The MacArthur-winning cartoonist, author of What It Is, and professor of interdisciplinary creativity.* Ruth Asawa – The brilliant San Francisco wire sculptor who believed art education should be accessible to all children.* Eleanor Coppola – The visionary documentary filmmaker who beautifully balanced her own creative life alongside an iconic filmmaking family.* Brian Eno – The experimental ambient music pioneer whose philosophy centers on answering the ultimate creative question: “What is it that I actually like?”* Michel de Montaigne – The Renaissance essayist whose father instituted a spartan pedagogical plan, including raises with peasants and learning Latin as a first language.Misc* Cyril Connolly’s “Pram in the Hall”* Jeff Tweedy on Making Art without ControlTimestamps0:00 — welcome to this episode03:59 — advice for a first-time author06:45 — Austin's houseful of weirdos in Austin, Texas08:03 — bottling the energy of two little kids10:36 — growing up in rural Ohio cornfields17:45 — Owen's magic line23:50 — being your kids' apprentice27:17 — young parents, keep a dairy36:00 — kids know what they like40:56 — scarcity vs. abundant fatherhood42:36 — read some mother artist memoirs47:17 — kids as a source of creative energy47:52 — go to therapy before you have kidsCreditsHost: Kevin MaguireManaging Producer: Elizabeth Van BrocklinSound Editor: Sam WilliamsTheme Music: SOHN Get full access to The New Fatherhood at www.thenewfatherhood.org/subscribe
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    53 mins
  • The Good Side of Anger with Sam Parker

    The Good Side of Anger with Sam Parker
    Apr 17 2026

    We've all been told that anger is a problem—something to control, suppress, or apologise for. But what if the real problem isn't that we have too much anger, but that we have no idea what to do with it?

    This month on the podcast, I sat down with Sam Parker—senior editor at British GQ and author of Good Anger: How Rethinking Rage Can Change Our Lives—to dig into why so many fathers have a broken relationship with this most fundamental emotion. Sam argues that anger isn't the enemy. Aggression is. And that learning to feel anger without shame or fear might be one of the most important things we can do—for ourselves, our partners, and our kids.

    We talk about the moment each of us realised we'd been burying our anger for decades, what happens in your body when a boundary gets crossed, and why repairing after you've lost your temper matters more than never losing it in the first place.

    Subscribe to the Podcast

    Spotify

    Apple Podcasts

    YouTube

    Pocket Casts

    Where to Find Sam Parker

    Sam's website

    Find Sam’s book Good Anger on Amazon and Bookshop.org

    The Good Father newsletter on Substack

    Episode References

    The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

    The Gottman Institute: The Four Horsemen

    Kevin's essay: "Where's My Jenny?"

    The New Fatherhood Therapy Fund

    Inside Out (Pixar, 2015)

    Timestamps

    00:00 — welcome to the anger episode

    03:39 — meet Sam's family: Jessie, baby Olive, and life in Kent

    04:32 — rethinking what anger is for

    05:18 — when anger gets swept under the carpet

    06:15 — suppression vs. aggression: the anger problem nobody talks about

    07:10 — the "I don't really get angry" myth

    9:49 — anger does not have to equal violence

    12:39 — how anger can manifest in the body

    14:06 — what is "good anger"?

    14:48 — the discomfort caveat

    17:45 — Sam's boxing breakthrough

    19:11 — anger can be clarifying

    20:44 — how anger hijacks the brain

    27:50 — managing anger between siblings

    33:05 — getting mad near a newborn

    39:00 — dad's role was disciplinarian

    42:24 — resentment as anger's cousin



    Get full access to The New Fatherhood at www.thenewfatherhood.org/subscribe
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    54 mins
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