Lauren and Trey begin 2026 with a nuanced dialogue about willing and wanting in long-term partnership.

In this 30-minute episode, they unpack a recent real-life conversation where Trey shares that he feels “willing” is a tier below “wanting,” while Lauren challenges that framework. Drawing from Kai Cheng Thom’s Spectrum of Consent and Dr. Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent, they explore whether willingness and wanting must be hierarchical, or if they can live on the same tier as different, equally valid experiences.

Lauren shares why giving a gift, when done within her limits, can feel deeply joyful, even when it’s not something she actively wants. Trey reflects on moments where he’s been willing for Lauren, how those choices felt in his body, and why his second read of The Art of Receiving and Giving is shifting how he understands consent, generosity, and care.

Together, they talk through specific scenarios, including an upcoming trip that’s “for Trey,” and how naming willingness (without resentment or self-abandonment) can actually strengthen trust and intimacy. They also draw a clear distinction between consensual willingness and the familiar but harmful pattern of “taking one for the team.”

This episode is an invitation to rethink consent beyond yes/no binaries and to explore how giving, receiving, and choosing each other can look when both partners stay connected to their own limits.

If this conversation brings up questions about consent, desire, or navigating willingness in your own relationship, Lauren offers free consults for individuals and couples. Visit sexedforyou.com/freeconsult to request yours.

Ideal for couples in long-term partnerships who want deeper intimacy, more desire, and better sex.

About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.

Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)

Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment.

• Learn more about Sex Ed for You at ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠⁠

• Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren today: ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠⁠

• Learn more about partnered communication best practices on Sex Ed For You’s Instagram Page: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠⁠

• Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more videos about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast

Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.

In this final episode of 2025, Lauren and Trey continue their conversation on admiration and its role in sustaining desire in long-term partnership. They share how writing notes of admiration on their refrigerator whiteboard has become a simple, meaningful daily practice.

Lauren reflects on how admiration fuels her desire and why it matters to feel known as a woman of worth to Trey rather than a container for his jizz. From there, they explore the dynamics of sexual desire through David Schnarch’s concepts of the Higher Desire Partner (HDP) and Lower Desire Partner (LDP), including the insight that the LDP ultimately controls the sex that is had.

Trey shares that Lauren is the LDP in their partnership and asks what helps her feel supported. Lauren names her need for space and permission not to respond to sexual texts. Lauren then asks Trey how he feels supported as the HDP, and he shares how she celebrates his self-pleasure, schedules sex, and plans sexy staycations.

They draw a parallel to everyday life, including Lauren as the HDP around hosting and how being supported without shame strengthens connection. Lauren reminds listeners that we are not sexually broken, we simply “don’t know how to drive,” and emphasizes the importance of knowing and owning desire.

The episode closes with laughter as they play the I Want! game, celebrating desire without obligation, and ends with a classic cutoff moment. They’ll be back next week for part three of this holiday trio. (Enjoy the accidental cut-off!)

If this conversation stirred something for you, especially around admiration, desire, or feeling seen in your partnership, you don’t have to navigate it alone. You can request a free 15-minute consultation at ⁠sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠.

Ideal for couples in long-term partnerships who want deeper intimacy, more desire, and better sex.

About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.

Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)

Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment.

• Learn more about Sex Ed for You at ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠⁠

• Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren today: ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠⁠

• Learn more about partnered communication best practices on Sex Ed For You’s Instagram Page: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠⁠

• Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more videos about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast

⁠⁠

Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.

What actually keeps desire alive in long-term partnerships? According to Emily Nagoski, PhD, it’s not relentless passion—it’s admiration.

In this episode of The Partnership Podcast, Lauren and Trey explore why liking, respecting, and admiring your partner may be one of the most powerful (and under-practiced) ingredients in sustaining erotic connection over time. Quoting Nagoski’s book Come Together, they reflect on her reminder:
“You don’t need to want your partner passionately so much as you need to like them, admire them, and believe that they are worth some effort.”

They kick things off with a vulnerable and hilarious story about Lauren forgetting to replenish a household item—and jokingly “making up for it” by seducing Trey (yes, the heels make sense once you hear the story). From there, they share a simple but profound ritual inspired by Nagoski’s work: ending the day by naming five things they admire about one another.

Mid-episode, Trey invites Lauren to coach him live as a “pretend client” who is afraid to ask for admiration after being ridiculed in the past. Lauren walks listeners through compassionate, grounded ways to initiate conversations about admiration with a partner—offering tools that are immediately usable and deeply regulating.

They also introduce the idea of increasing our positive affect tolerance: practicing receiving compliments by making eye contact and simply saying, “thank you.” Together, they unpack why receiving admiration can feel surprisingly difficult—and why cultivating a culture of admiration in our homes and relationships is essential for intimacy, safety, and desire.

This conversation marks Part One of a three-part series designed to support partnerships through the holiday season. Be sure to come back next Monday at 7am for Part Two as Lauren and Trey continue this important exploration.

If this conversation stirred something for you, especially around admiration, desire, or feeling seen in your partnership, you don’t have to navigate it alone. You can request a free 15-minute consultation for individuals and couples who want support building more connected, intimate, and resilient relationships.Request your consult at sexedforyou.com/freeconsult.

Ideal for couples in long-term partnerships who want deeper intimacy, more desire, and better sex.

About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.

Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)

Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment.

• Learn more about Sex Ed for You at ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com⁠⁠

• Schedule a FREE CONSULT with Lauren today: ⁠⁠https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult⁠⁠

• Learn more about partnered communication best practices on Sex Ed For You’s Instagram Page: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/⁠⁠

• Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more videos about sex, partnership, communication, and love: ⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@thepartnershippodcast

⁠⁠

Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.