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“People loved my mother. She nearly killed me.” With that stark paradox, we open a story that refuses easy answers. Sadie Green grew up in rural Minnesota with a cleft palate that required surgeries and a mother who was celebrated by neighbors while inflicting severe, escalating abuse at home. Decades later, Sadie returns to the pages she wrote in her thirties—memories captured during a winter of solitude—to understand how fear is rooted in her body and how fear has shaped her relationships and sense of self.

We move between lived memory and documented fact: hospital notes from the University of Minnesota, five surgeries paid for by proud parents with little money, and a rare removal from the home in 1970.

Pam and Sadie examine the nature of memory, why doubt is normal for survivors, and how evidence—medical records, witnesses, removal—can steady a story but not remove the doubt that family denial thrives on.

If you value survivor-led storytelling and conversations that make space for complexity, press play and stay with us as the series unfolds with new episodes every Tuesday. Subscribe, and feel free to share this episode.

Special Thanks to our supporters, who have made this podcast possible.

• Lucy Mathews Heegaard: Audio Engineer
  • with music via Epidemic Sound
• Terry Gydesen: Photographer

• Polly Kellogg
• Kate Tillotson
• Dawn Charbonneau
• Jacob Wyatt
• Molly Tillotson
• Clare Dudzinski
• Julian Bowers
• Wendy Horowitz
• Maggie Kazel
• Pat Farrell
• Lynette Tabert
• Laura Jensen
• People's Farm Collective
• Deborah Copperud of "Spock Talk" podcast

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A single sentence on a phone call—“We only have one daughter”—can divide a life in two. We sit down with Sadie to follow the arc from being erased by her family’s story to authoring her own during a winter spent alone in a Wisconsin cabin: a wood stove, a dog, a wary cat, and a stack of notebooks. Stillness pulls up images she has outrun for years, and the only way through is to let the questions stay.

Sadie walks us through the mechanics of memory work—starting in third person to protect herself, making a “grocery list” of scenes, and slowly shifting into the first person as ownership returns.

We also push against a popular myth: that reconciliation with family is always the preferred goal. Sadie explains why distance was her survival, how “she went crazy” became the convenient cover story, and why some doors must stay closed to keep a life intact.

If this story resonates, share it with someone, and subscribe for new episodes every Tuesday. Thanks for listening!

Special Thanks to our supporters, who have made this podcast possible.

• Lucy Mathews Heegaard: Audio Engineer
  • with music via Epidemic Sound
• Terry Gydesen: Photographer

• Polly Kellogg
• Kate Tillotson
• Dawn Charbonneau
• Jacob Wyatt
• Molly Tillotson
• Clare Dudzinski
• Julian Bowers
• Wendy Horowitz
• Maggie Kazel
• Pat Farrell
• Lynette Tabert
• Laura Jensen
• People's Farm Collective
• Deborah Copperud of "Spock Talk" podcast

Send us Fan Mail

A cold November garage, a basement chair, and a girl counting footsteps—that’s where Sadie’s story begins. We walk through the fear along with the stubborn spark of imagination: a belief that somewhere else this would not be happening. The narrative moves from hiding to hunger, showing how neglect and control can live side by side.

A grandmother leaves food in a shed and proves that love can be small and still life-saving. We also face the most difficult truths: a father whose gentle nature could not interrupt cruelty and the sentence that stings across decades—“it seemed like you enjoyed punishment.” We examine how family systems protect themselves with denial and how poverty and medical debt magnify stress.

If this resonates, follow the show, and feel free to share with others. Thanks for listening!

Special Thanks to our supporters, who have made this podcast possible.

• Lucy Mathews Heegaard: Audio Engineer
  • with music via Epidemic Sound
• Terry Gydesen: Photographer

• Polly Kellogg
• Kate Tillotson
• Dawn Charbonneau
• Jacob Wyatt
• Molly Tillotson
• Clare Dudzinski
• Julian Bowers
• Wendy Horowitz
• Maggie Kazel
• Pat Farrell
• Lynette Tabert
• Laura Jensen
• People's Farm Collective
• Deborah Copperud of "Spock Talk" podcast