Episodes

  • What is Femicide? The Killing of Natalie McGuinness

    What is Femicide? The Killing of Natalie McGuinness
    Nov 3 2025
    TW: Episode mentions violence, domestic abuse, and coercive control. Since 1996, 276 women have been killed in violent circumstances in Ireland. This is known as femicide, the intentional killings of women and girls precisely because of their gender. For the final episode of the season, we sit down with Jodie McGuinness, sister of Natalie McGuinness. 10 years ago, Natalie was killed by Oisin Conroy, a man she saw as a close friend. She was just 23 years old. This October marks 10 years since Natalie’s killing. We are also joined by Sarah Benson, CEO of Women’s Aid, whose expertise on violence against women spans over 25 years. In this episode, we ask questions like: What is femicide? Who was Natalie McGuinness? Why did Oisin Conroy kill his close friend Natalie? What role does gender inequality play in the killing of women? If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram.
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    54 mins
  • Is It Love or a Trauma Bond? Unpacking Trauma & Shame

    Is It Love or a Trauma Bond? Unpacking Trauma & Shame
    Oct 6 2025
    Why do people stay in relationships that hurt them? This month on the Too Into You Podcast, we dive into the complex links between love, shame, and trauma. Mary is flying solo for this episode while Madeline is away, but she’s joined by Suzanna Knight and Niamh Wilson from Women’s Aid’s Training Department. With over 30 years’ combined experience, they’re experts in coercive control and the impact of trauma in intimate relationships. Together, we unpack what a trauma bond really is, how shame keeps people feeling stuck, and why leaving an abusive relationship is never as simple as “just walking away.” We’ll explore: How trauma bonds are formed in abusive relationships. The role shame plays in keeping survivors silent. Why your brain and body respond the way they do. The antidote to trauma If you’ve ever wondered “Why didn’t they leave?” or asked yourself “Why do I feel this way?”, this episode will give you real answers, and remind you that you’re not alone. If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship you can: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram, and don’t forget to leave us a review and comment. Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 03:19 – What is trauma? 06:49 - Fight, flight and freeze – Why Your Body Reacts This Way 16.45 – How abusers use shame to keep you trapped 25.51 – Trauma Bonds: Why Leaving Isn’t Simple 28.49 – Why do people control their partners? 31.48 – Healing: The antidote to trauma and shame
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    40 mins
  • The truth about her ‘sex tape’ ft Alexandra Ryan

    The truth about her ‘sex tape’ ft Alexandra Ryan
    Sep 1 2025
    TW: Episode mentions suicide, suicidal ideation, image based sexual abuse, sexual abuse, coercive control. In this powerful episode of Too Into You, host Mary Hayes sits down with Alexandra Ryan, award winning journalist, law graduate, founder and CEO of Goss.ie and survivor of image based sexual abuse. When Ali was 25, she was filmed, without her knowledge or consent, having sex with a man she knew and trusted. She bravely shared her story on Goss.ie and has gone on to advocate for survivors of image based sexual abuse. Ali now acts as an Ambassador for the Department for the Justice and helped them launch a campaign to combat the sharing of intimate images without consent. In this episode, we talk about: The real impact on victims — from shame and isolation to rebuilding trust. What does ‘revenge porn’ really mean? Coco’s Law and changes in Irish law that criminalise intimate image abuse. The pressures young women face to send nudes and sexually explicit imagery. Why it’s never your fault and what support is out there. If someone shares or even threatens to share explicit images or videos of you without your permission, this is image based sexual abuse and it is a crime. If this has happened to you, you can: Learn more at: https://www.toointoyou.ie/get-help/sharing-of-intimate-images/ Report it at: https://hotline.ie/ Read Ali’s full story here: https://goss.ie/gallery/featured-2-the-truth-about-my-sex-tape-by-alexandra-ryan-232458-232458 If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship you can: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram, and don’t forget to leave us a review and comment. Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 01:40 – Who is Ali Ryan? 09:23 – Ali’s story and the impact of image based sexual abuse 22:46 – The truth about ‘revenge porn’ 26:12 – Taking back control and going public 29:32 – Pressure, porn and consent 37:00 – Shifting the public conversation 47.29 – A message of hope for anyone affected 49:49 – Episode wrap up with Madeline Campbell
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    57 mins
  • Emotional Abuse 101: It’s Not Just in Your Head

    Emotional Abuse 101: It’s Not Just in Your Head
    Aug 4 2025
    Ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells in your relationship? Or like your partner blames for their actions? Or like things are moving way too fast in the honeymoon stage? You’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. In this episode of the Too Into You podcast, we break down emotional abuse in young relationships, what it is, how it shows up, and why it’s so harmful. We dive into the early red flags like love bombing, gaslighting, negging, and isolation, and explore how they chip away at your confidence and leave you feeling confused, anxious, or stuck. Whether you’re in a relationship, just getting out of one, or want to help a friend, this episode is here to remind you: real love doesn’t make you feel small. Because emotional abuse is real, it’s serious, and you deserve better. TW: Episode mentions domestic abuse, emotional abuse, intimate partner abuse, physical abuse and financial abuse. If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram. Chapters 00:00 Intro 02:16 What is Emotional Abuse? 06:20 What is Love bombing? 15:00 What is Gaslighting? 26:10 What is Negging? 31:41 What about Isolation
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    44 mins
  • Worried About Your Relationship and Scared to Reach Out? This Is What You Can Expect ft Women’s Aid

    Worried About Your Relationship and Scared to Reach Out? This Is What You Can Expect ft Women’s Aid
    Jul 7 2025
    Thinking about reaching out for help but not sure what to expect? In this episode, we chat Linda Smith, Head of National Helpline Services, and Eavan Ward, Head of Regional Services, from Women’s Aid to break down what actually happens when you ask for support. We break down: What it’s like to call the Women’s Aid Helpline or use the chat service at toointoyou.ie What to expect from an appointment with Women’s Aid What it’s like to report abuse to the Gardaí How to gather evidence of abuse And much more Whether you’re in a relationship that feels off, worried about a friend, or just unsure if what you're experiencing is OK—this episode is for you. No judgment, no pressure—just honest answers. TW: Episode mentions domestic abuse, emotional abuse, intimate partner abuse, physical abuse and financial abuse. If you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Follow @toointoyou on TikTok and Instagram. Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 04:35 Are the support services right for me? 07:53 “My situation isn’t bad enough” and “ I don’t want to take time from someone who really needs it.” 11:13 What are the things people ask about on the helpline? 13:18 Staying together for the kids? 17:17 If I call Women’s Aid, will they just tell me to break up? 18:30 What happens when I call the Helpline? What will I be asked? 23:18 What to expect from an appointment with Women’s Aid? 25:33 What is the Drop in Service? How to get a Protection Order? 28:28 What to expect when you go to the Gardaí? 31:03 How to gather evidence of abuse 34:54 A message of hope for you 37:27 Episode chat with Madeline Campbell
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    42 mins
  • Control Isn’t Love: Abuse in LGBTQ+ Relationships

    Control Isn’t Love: Abuse in LGBTQ+ Relationships
    Jun 2 2025
    On this episode, we chat to James O’Hagan from LGBT Ireland. James coordinates the LGBTQI+ Intimate Partner Violence Network. We’ll be chatting about things like: - Does abuse happen in LGBTQ+ relationships? - What are the red flags of abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships? - What does a healthy queer relationship look like? - Where can young LGBTQ+ people find support? Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Remember, if you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Contact LGBT Ireland: Call National LGBT Helpline on 1800 929 539 Find information and support at lgbt.ie Don’t forget to give us a 5 star rating and leave a comment Chapters 00:00 Intro 04:01 Who is LGBT Ireland and LGBTQI+ Community Intimate Partner Abuse Network 06:17 How coming out impacts young LGBTQ+ relationships 14:38 Common red flags of abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships 18:41 Dating someone who is already out 22:13 How abuse happens in LGBTQ+ relationships 26:10 Barriers to seeking support 29:08 Where to go for support 31:34 Supporting a friend or family member 34:00 Episode chat with Madeline Campbell
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    45 mins
  • You Asked, We Answered

    You Asked, We Answered
    May 5 2025
    We’re answering your questions about dating and relationships, intimate partner abuse, and what healthy love really looks like. The Too Into You team – Mary and Madeline – chat through the questions you’ve sent us like: · We’ve got problems, but what if they promise to change? · How do I avoid narcissists and narcissistic abuse? · My friend won’t leave their toxic relationship, what do I do? Remember, if you are worried about your own relationship or a friend’s: - Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900 - Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Whatever your questions might be, we’re here to help. Take the Relationship Quiz to see if yours is healthy or not: https://www.toointoyou.ie/relationships/quiz/ Make sure you’re following us on social media: TikTok: @toointoyou_ Instagram: @toointoyou Don’t forget to subscribe, give us a 5 star rating and leave a comment, it helps us a lot! Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:27 Is it bad enough? Do we have to break up? 05:19 Is my boyfriend being protective or controlling? 07:40 How do I help my friend in a toxic relationship? 11:36 Will they ever change? 14:34 How to avoid narcissistic types like my ex 17:02 Setting boundaries in a new relationship 24:15 What happens if your nudes leak? 30:18 How do I rebuild my self esteem after leaving my abusive ex?
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    37 mins
  • “Does this feel good?” – Sex, Consent, and Boundaries ft We Consent

    “Does this feel good?” – Sex, Consent, and Boundaries ft We Consent
    Apr 7 2025
    On this episode, we chat to Sarah Monaghan from the We Consent. We-Consent is a long-term national campaign, run by the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre, to inform, educate and engage with all members of society about consent. We’ll be chatting about things like: - What is consent? - How can consent make sex more enjoyable? - What is sexual violence? - What to do if it happens to you? Take the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie to see if yours is healthy or not. Remember, if you are worried about your own or a friend’s relationship: Call Women’s Aid 24Hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900. Chat for support at toointoyou.ie Both are completely free and confidential. Contact Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (available nationwide) Call 24hr Rape Crisis Helpline 1800778888 - free, confidential & non-judgmental Webchat is available at DRCC.ie Share your story anonymously, securely & safely at WeSpeak.ie Learn more at we-consent.ie Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:52 What is the WeConsent campaign? 04:04 What is consent? 06:08 Why is consent important in relationships? 08:14 Meaningful consent - It’s not just about ‘yes’ 10:00 Ways to talk to your partner about your preferences 13:06 ‘Consent ruins the mood’ - Misconceptions around consent 19:34 When sex turns to sexual violence 25:54 How do you know what your boundaries are? 30:04 What factors influence consent? 32:45 The power of little conversations 34:12 Navigating consent online 36:27 Need support? 38:00 One message on consent 39:04 Episode chat with Madeline Campbell
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    49 mins