Dating coaches are using your vulnerabilities to make you subconsciously absorb harmful dating advice. We've all been left hurt at some point while dating, but if dating advice is supposed to make dating easier, why are people lonelier and struggling more than ever in the current dating market?

In today's episode I discuss how trying to minimize your dating pain can start with genuine advice but slowly lead you toward a harmful and transactional way of viewing relationships, how this can create a dangerous cycle with the manosphere, and what we can do instead.

🎧 LISTEN ON THE PODCAST

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5FTgpj6cCI3POMvuo9M31y

Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/touching-grass/id1868714114

Listen anywhere else: https://pod.link/1868714114

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⏱️ CHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS

00:00 why dating advice turns toxic

01:07 how pain shapes dating beliefs

03:28 when good advice turns harmful

05:27 “you are the prize”

06:14 the ego band-aid

08:53 turning off your emotions

10:17 when dating becomes transactional

11:14 from transaction to resentment

12:28 the manosphere disclaimer

13:30 how the manosphere pulls you in

14:27 the “sigma male” ego band-aid

15:39 emotional numbness to transaction

17:00 how both sides fuel each other

18:44 handling rejection without losing yourself

19:35 you are not the prize

20:41 how to deal with dating pain

21:42 comment your perspective

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#datingadviceforwomen #manosphere #datingadvicepipeline #internetculture

Is social media helping you gain more knowledge, or just making you reliant on someone else's thoughts? In this episode, we explore why consuming intelligent, nuanced content on platforms like Substack doesn’t necessarily make us independent thinkers, and how easily we can absorb someone else’s worldview without realizing it. We’ll unpack the psychology behind influence, the difference between gaining knowledge and forming your own perspective, and four ways to become a more critical, independent thinker online💚⸻⏱️ CHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS00:00 is substack helping us grow or making us reliant01:22 the illusion of being an intellectual03:13 why knowing more doesn’t make you a stronger thinker04:05 how social media subconsciously changes what you believe05:45 illusory truth effect: why repetition makes ideas feel true07:09 how to learn from others without outsourcing your thinking08:52 4 ways to become a more independent thinker11:42 when you stop thinking for yourself13:22 intelligence is not a performance⸻📌 FOLLOW MELinktree → linktr.ee/touchinggrasspodInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/thetouchinggrasspod?utm_source=qrTikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@thetouchinggrasspod?_r=1&_t=ZT-99NvTuP60WkSubstack → https://open.substack.com/pub/thetouchinggrasspod#criticalthinking #intellectualism #digitalculture #medialiteracy

What if you spent your whole life chasing success, only to realize you never actually wanted the life you built?

It’s easy to confuse money, luxury, social media aesthetics, and status with fulfillment. But what if the version of success you’re chasing was never actually yours?

In this episode, we’re talking about social media, lifestyle expectations, self-improvement, self-discovery, and the pressure to build a life that looks successful instead of one that actually feels good.

How do you figure out what you really want? And what happens if you achieve everything you thought you wanted, only to realize it doesn’t make you happy?

Let’s rethink what success, fulfillment, and a good life can actually look like.

⏱️ CHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS00:00 do i actually want the life I'm chasing?01:56 why does everyone want the same life?03:54 are we chasing success or status?05:39 what actually makes life fulfilling?07:32 redefine the way you see success09:06 what if you get everything you wanted?10:44 success on your own terms

Looksmaxxing promises to make dating easier, but looks can’t solve the parts of dating that actually matter.

It’s tempting to believe that changing your appearance is the shortcut to attracting more women, but compatibility requires so much more than looking the part.

In this episode, we’re talking about looksmaxxing, dating, self-improvement, attractiveness, social media, optimization culture, and why there are no shortcuts to genuine human connection💚

⏱️ CHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS00:00 why is looksmaxxing so appealing?02:01 what are women actually looking for?03:28 are we optimizing the wrong thing?05:40 it’s easier to fix your jawline than yourself07:02 the illusion of having more dating options08:16 you can’t optimize your dating life10:07 why human connection has no shortcuts

Convenience culture promises to make life easier, but what if all that convenience is making us lonelier?

From food delivery and AI to friendships that require more effort than we’re used to, we’ve started treating inconvenience as something to avoid, even when that effort is what creates connection.

Let’s talk about convenience culture, community, loneliness, social connection, optimization culture, and why building a meaningful life might require us to be inconvenienced💚

⏱️ CHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS

00:00 why do i miss being exhausted?

01:08 why we’ve started treating effort like a problem

03:22 why community is inherently inconvenient

04:22 the problem with convenient socializing

05:50 how convenience culture is making us lonelier

07:05 why community might help you live longer

08:48 are we responsible for our own loneliness?

10:33 we create the culture we complain about

11:30 why convenience isn’t actually convenient

12:23 why we need to stop optimizing everything

Saying “all men are trash” might feel like a way to protect yourself from bad dating experiences, but what if it’s actually lowering your standards?

When you’ve been treated badly enough, basic respect can start to feel like the world instead of a requirement.

In this episode, we’re talking about dating standards, the bare minimum, unhealthy relationships, modern dating, and how your past experiences can shape what you expect from the people you date💚

⏱️ CHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS

00:00 does “all men are trash” lower your dating standards?

00:41 why we even start saying “all men are trash”

02:34 safety vs dating standards

03:19 how your words shape your dating expectations

04:28 how bad dating experiences change your standards

05:25 basic respect is the bare minimum

06:07 do you even know what you should want?

07:49 why you need to believe better partners exist

08:25 how to change your dating standards

10:19 your past relationships shouldn’t define your future

Sometimes you think you know who you are and then all of sudden life changes and you feel like you lost your sense of identity and worth.

This happened to me after going from being a student to being unemployed.

Lost, confused, insecure, and left with nothing but the core of who I am.

When life changes it's easy to feel like you're losing yourself, but why does that happen?

And how do we prevent that from happening in the future?

It turns out a lot of us have been tying our worth and identity to the wrong things.

The world gives us a list of labels to be and things that make us successful but maybe we've been navigating this all wrong.

In today's episode I talk about how identity shifts in different stages of life, how we lose our sense of self when we don't understand where it comes from, and how all of this can make us lose not only our sense of self but also our sense of worth.

Join me as I navigate my identity and worth, while helping you feel less alone and my advice on how to gain it back and not lose it again.

0:00 the moment I lost myself

1:42 tying identity to things that change

2:39 we like holding onto old versions

3:31what happens once the label is gone?

5:47 how you outsource your worth

7:24 our worth as a number (podcast example)

8:27 do we have inherent worth?

10:12 identity is fluid

11:19 questions to challenge you

Protecting your peace, setting boundaries, and putting yourself first have become some of the most popular pieces of relationship advice online. But can protecting your peace actually cost you connection?

0:00 love is doing things you don’t like

1:18 when protecting yourself becomes isolation

2:43 what makes someone matter to you

3:47 what if compromise can feel good?

4:39 love changes what you enjoy

5:36 your people aren't a burden

6:28 you won't have them forever

7:42 some things are worth disrupting your peace

8:38 let the people you love change you

We've become very good at protecting ourselves from things that drain us, inconvenience us, or make us uncomfortable. But what happens when we start treating every inconvenience as something we should avoid?In this episode of Touching Grass, we explore the line between healthy boundaries and the kind of self-protection that can quietly make our lives smaller.Because relationships aren't built on obligation.They're built on people choosing to show up for each other—even when it's inconvenient.We get into:-Why "you don't owe anyone anything" can be both empowering and limiting-The difference between protecting your peace and choosing comfort over connection-How the "if it's not a hell yes, it's a no" mindset can make relationships more transactional-Why showing up is one of the most meaningful ways we communicate love-How doing things you don't care about can become meaningful because of who you're doing them with-Why compromise doesn't have to feel like a burden-The privilege of having people worth showing up for-How the people we love can actually change the way we experience the world-Why we shouldn't let online advice dictate when we're "allowed" to cancel on the people we love-The perspective that comes from realizing you don't know how much time you have left with someone-What my dad taking me to see Melanie Martinez at 14 taught me about love and showing upBecause protecting your peace matters.But so does letting people into your life.Your friends aren't a burden.Your family isn't a burden.Your partner isn't a burden.Sometimes love looks like going when you're tired.Sometimes it looks like doing something you would never choose for yourself.Sometimes it looks like standing in the rain, going to a concert you don't care about, or taking the long way because someone you love is excited about it.And sometimes...You don't just learn to tolerate the things you did for someone else.You learn to love them, too.You don't owe anyone anything.And that's exactly why showing up feels so special.