In this episode, I sit down with Jeremy Swick, a young man whose life story begins in Guatemala and unfolds in Wisconsin. Jeremy was adopted as an infant after spending his first six months in an overcrowded orphanage during Guatemala’s civil war. What I didn’t fully understand going into this conversation was just how fragile and uncertain his start to life had been—and how deeply those early experiences shaped the man he’s become.

Jeremy shares openly about being dropped as a baby in the orphanage, suffering multiple skull fractures and a serious brain injury, and how doctors once believed he might never thrive. He also tells the remarkable story of discovering that one of the babies who shared his crib was adopted by another family in Wisconsin—and still lives just an hour away today.

Raised by deeply loving parents, Jeremy reflects on identity, belonging, and what it means to grow up as a brown child in a predominantly white community with parents whose lived experiences couldn’t always mirror his own. He speaks thoughtfully about curiosity as a lifeline—how learning history became a way to understand himself, his country of birth, and the world around him.

This is a grounded, honest conversation about masculinity, resilience, and what helps boys grow into men who feel seen, capable, and connected.

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Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

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Guest Bio

Jeremy Swick is a historian, storyteller, and media entrepreneur known online as The Average Historian. Born in Guatemala City and raised in Wisconsin, Jeremy has worked with institutions including the Pro Football Hall of Fame and the College Football Hall of Fame, and most recently served as an archivist for the Wisconsin Black Historical Society. In 2025, he left his 9-to-5 to launch Swick Media, where he helps organizations and podcasters tell meaningful stories through digital media and podcasting.

We talk about:

1. Adoption, identity, and the lifelong search for belonging
2. How early trauma can quietly shape adult behavior and resilience
3. The importance of earned support and what it taught Jeremy about growth and trust
4. Why team sports—especially rugby—can be a powerful buffer for boys’ and men’s mental health
5. Community, loneliness, and where young men feel most disconnected today
6. The pressure to “perform” versus living honestly
7. What parents can do to truly support their sons’ interests and agency
8. Jeremy also shares practical wisdom about...

In this episode of Unlocking the Parenting Code: All About Boys, Kathy sits down with Keanu Mendoza, a warm, reflective, and deeply thoughtful young man whose early life could have easily led him down a familiar path of drugs, gangs, and incarceration. Raised without his parents present, Keanu spent his early childhood with his grandmother before her passing, and later with an aunt and uncle who stepped in during his most vulnerable years.

Keanu shares openly about growing up feeling lonely, shy, and unsure of who he was — including being bullied at school, struggling with self-confidence, and longing to belong. Grounded in faith and shaped by consistent, firm, and loving guidance, he chose a different path. Today, Keanu is serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, is a first-generation college graduate, and is continuing his education with plans for graduate school.

This conversation offers hope to young people who feel trapped by their circumstances — and powerful insight for parents, mentors, and educators into what truly helps boys find their footing, their voice, and their sense of self.

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Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

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Keanu Mendoza was born and raised in California. He grew up without his parents present and spent much of his early childhood being raised by his grandmother before her passing. In his early teens, his aunt and uncle stepped in to raise him and his brother, providing the stability and guidance that would change his life’s direction.

Keanu is currently serving in the U.S. Marine Corps, the first in his family to do so. He is also a first-generation college graduate from Southern New Hampshire University, where he earned both his associate and bachelor’s degrees in business administration. At 26 years old, Keanu continues to pursue growth, learning, and service, with plans to begin graduate studies.

Family & Early Life

• Raised primarily by his grandmother; family instability and early loss.
• Met his biological father only once (around age 5–6).
• Mother in and out of his life, mostly out, and struggling with substance issues.
• Moved in with his aunt and uncle in 7th grade (age 12–13) — the adults who “stepped up.”

School, Identity & Bullying

• Growing up a shy, chubby child and being bullied at school.
• Struggles with self-confidence
• How loneliness and the need to belong made him vulnerable in adolescence.

Turning Points & Mentors

• The decisive influence of his uncle and aunt: structure, discipline, and steady presence.
• Other local mentors (neighbor/church leader) who introduced him to faith and music.
• How one person’s intervention can change a boy’s trajectory.

Choices, Resilience & Purpose

• Choosing a different path despite generational patterns of drugs, gangs, and incarceration.
• Joining the U.S. Marine Corps: finding structure, belonging,

In this episode, Kathy sits down with Joey Stoneburgh, — a corrections officer, husband, father, and podcast host — for an honest look at childhood, masculinity, mental health, and the reality of working inside Canada’s largest jail. Joey opens up about growing up between two homes, the feeling of not fully belonging, the decisions that could have taken his life in a different direction, and the personal redemption he continues to choose every day.

We dive into fatherhood, boundaries, identity, and the invisible pressures many men carry. Joey shares openly about mental health challenges, testosterone, and the work it takes to stay grounded. His story is one of self-reflection, resilience, connection — and choosing who you want to be, even when early life experiences may pull you in other directions.

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Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

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• Core values & identity

Joey reflects on honesty, integrity, inclusivity, and humor as foundational to who he is — and how these values led him into law enforcement.

• Working in corrections & mental health

How 13 years in a jail environment impacts a person, the risk of becoming hardened, and the outlets that kept Joey grounded (sobriety, jiu-jitsu, family, meaningful routines).

• Childhood in a split family

Navigating two households, complex family dynamics, feeling like he didn’t fully belong in either, and how those early experiences influenced his teens and early 20s.

• Searching for belonging as a teen

Partying, substance use, risky decisions, and the fine line between becoming an officer or becoming an inmate.

• Religion, symbolism & redemption

The surprising church visit that shifted his perspective, the powerful encounter at work that deepened his belief in good and evil, and the story behind his “redemption” tattoo.

• Boundaries & self-worth

Learning to stop people-pleasing, set limits with friends and family, and step into a stronger sense of self-respect.

• Masculine pressure, drive & self-criticism

Feeling like a failure in his late 20s, the internal pressure to be “the provider,” the battle in his own mind, and how ambition can be both a strength and a struggle.

• Fatherhood & testosterone

How becoming a dad transformed his identity, feeling “off,” low libido, and emotionally overwhelmed during that period, and his history of anabolic steroid use.

• Masculinity, mentorship & mixed messages

Outdated gender expectations, exposure to pornography, confusing early guidance from elders, and how culture shapes boys’ understanding of manhood.

• Fears for today’s society

The tension around motherhood, gender roles, and why he believes children need present, emotionally engaged parents.

• What he wants...

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Kathy sits down with Pat Barber—father of four boys, longtime CrossFit leader, and thoughtful voice on masculinity, parenting, and personal growth. Pat opens up about the evolution of his core values, his marriage, and the lessons he brings into raising boys today.

Together, they explore conflict, communication, risk-taking, digital safety, sexual development, honesty, and the role of testosterone in shaping boys’ inner worlds. Pat shares candid stories about raising four sons in the mountains, why he gives his boys real opportunities to take risks, and how he and his wife navigate everything from arguments to conversations about porn, erections, and emotional regulation.

This episode offers grounded wisdom for parents raising boys in an age of misinformation, overprotection, hyper-connectivity, and confusion around masculinity.

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Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Pat Barber is a dedicated husband, father of four boys, and one of the most respected leaders in the functional fitness world. A longtime CrossFit athlete, coach, mentor, and community builder, Pat is known for his thoughtful reflections on fatherhood, integrity, and personal development. His work centers around authenticity, honesty, and strength—values he works to model in the gym, online, and at home. Pat speaks openly about parenting, relationships, and raising emotionally intelligent boys in a rapidly changing world.

Identity & Core Values

• Pat’s three core values: authenticity, honesty, strength

Marriage & Conflict Navigation

• Pat’s turning point in conflict with his wife
• Learning to let go of “being right”
• Distinguishing core values from trivial arguments
• Curiosity as a parenting and relationship tool

Parenting Boys

• Raising boys to be emotionally intelligent and self-aware
• When to guide vs. when to let children experiment
• Giving kids real risk: autonomy without negligence
• Risk comparison: physical danger vs. digital danger

Discipline, Boundaries & Communication

• How Pat handles disagreements with his boys
• Encouraging them to explain their reasoning
• When to say “No” and when to say “Show me your plan”
• Apologizing to kids and modeling emotional regulation

Masculinity & Testosterone

• Why parents need to understand testosterone surges
• How hormonal changes shift boys’ psychology
• Normalizing sexuality without shame
• Lack of societal literacy around male development
• Effects of testosterone seen through the lens of transgender men

Digital Safety & Porn Exposure

• Why Pat keeps devices in...

In this first solo episode of Season 3, Kathy reflects on what she has learned from 21 in-depth conversations with young men, dads, and experts on male mental health and masculinity. With November marking Men’s Mental Health Month, she explores why it’s so important that parents, caregivers, and communities pay closer, more consistent attention to the emotional well-being of boys and young men.

Kathy shares why this season shifted from talking about boys to talking with the young men they grow into—and how those conversations revealed a powerful missing piece in how we understand and support boys.

A moment from her interview with her son stands at the heart of this episode: the unspoken pressure many boys feel to keep their emotions “flat”—not too happy, not too sad, not too anything. She unpacks the cost of emotional restriction and how it affects boys’ mental health, relationships, coping skills, and lifelong well-being.

Despite the challenges, Kathy ends with hope. Across her interviews, she met young men who are building community, doing inner work, showing up honestly for their families, and actively redefining what healthy masculinity can look like. She also gives a preview of next week’s inspiring episode featuring a father of four boys who is committed to doing this work from the inside out.

• Why November’s focus on men’s mental health matters—but isn’t enough
• The “missing piece” in understanding boys’ emotional worlds
• Her son’s powerful insight about the pressure to stay emotionally flat
• How emotional suppression impacts addiction, mental health, and connection
• Signs of hope: young men choosing honesty, presence, and growth
• A preview of next week’s episode with a dad raising four boys with intention

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Men’s mental health doesn’t begin in adulthood—it begins in childhood.

If we want mentally healthy men, we must raise emotionally supported boys.

And that starts with listening—to their stories, their struggles, and their truths.

If this conversation resonated with you, please share it with a parent, a father, or a young man.

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Too many boys today feel lost, alone, and misunderstood. And far too often, the same is true for their parents.

Behind the troubling statistics is a generation of boys quietly longing to be seen, heard, and valued — yet the conversation around boys’ emotional lives remains far too quiet.

Season 3 of Unlocking the Parenting Code is here to change that.

In this new season, you’ll hear:

🔹 Real conversations with young men who are ready to share their truth.

🔹 Powerful insights from experts in boys’ mental and...

When fatherhood meets entrepreneurship, life can feel like a balancing act — one that tests patience, priorities, and purpose. In this warm, honest conversation, Kathy talks with Thomas Buttino, a dad of three (including twin toddlers!) who’s learning how to build both a thriving business and a deeply connected family life.

Together, they talk about the real stuff — curiosity, boundaries, mistakes, forgiveness, and how 10 minutes of undivided attention can change everything. Thomas shares personal stories that remind us that connection doesn’t come from control — it comes from courage and conversation.

This is an episodeI for every parent who wants to raise boys who feel seen, valued, and deeply loved — and for every dad learning that strength and softness can live in the same heart.

**********

Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™:

3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

• The three core values that guide Thomas’s life and fatherhood: love, loyalty, and honesty
• How to talk to boys about pornography, alcohol, and curiosity — without shame or fear
• The importance of keeping communication open before teens turn to the internet for answers
• How 10 minutes of focused time a day can change your relationship with your kids
• What it means to raise authentic, emotionally intelligent young men
• The difference between a work ethic and a life ethic — and why fathers need both
• Why embracing failure and risk is key to growth and resilience
• How fathers can model love without losing their sense of strength

Thomas Buttino is a husband, father, entrepreneur, author, speaker, and mentor who’s on a mission to help Dadpreneurs — fathers building both businesses and families — achieve extraordinary growth in life and work. Through his mentoring and writing, Thomas encourages men to lead with authenticity, love, and purpose, and to create lives where success and connection thrive side by side.

• https://www.instagram.com/automatedexec/
• https://www.facebook.com/thomas.buttino
• Website: The Automated Executive

Learn more @sonhoodcoaching.com

Email:...

My conversation with Yenson She was filled with quiet insight and genuine reflection on what it means to be a young father in Hong Kong today. Though he grew up during the years when the city was transitioning from British to Chinese rule, Yenson described his childhood as simply that — an ordinary boyhood untouched by politics or change.

Now a father and host of the podcast Ordinary But Unique, Yenson speaks thoughtfully about his evolving understanding of masculinity, fatherhood, and emotional awareness. From his reflections on growing up in Hong Kong’s high-pressure education system to the tender hopes he holds for his young daughter, this conversation offers a window into how modern Asian men are redefining strength — not through silence, but through compassion and courage.

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Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

In This Episode, We Explore:

• What it was like growing up as a boy in Hong Kong during the late 80s and 90s
• The deep cultural mix of East and West — and how it shaped identity
• Why emotional awareness and mental well-being are central to Yenson’s parenting today
• How the definition of masculinity in Chinese culture is slowly evolving
• His reflections on his own father’s quiet influence — and what he hopes to do differently
• The challenges and pressures men face in their 30s and 40s as they juggle fatherhood, career, and identity
• How grief and self-reflection led him to launch Ordinary But Unique

Guest Bio

Born and raised in Hong Kong, Yenson She is a multi-sector generalist and podcast host who explores the intersections of masculinity, growth, and well-being. Educated at Cambridge and now working across Asia, Yenson is the creator of the podcast Ordinary But Unique, where he invites men to share their stories with honesty and empathy. A devoted father, Yenson is passionate about learning how to be both a strong and emotionally attuned parent — and helping other men do the same.

Memorable Quotes

“It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to be wrong. What matters is to become better next time.”

“Being strong doesn’t mean hiding your emotions — it means knowing how to face and express them.”

“If my daughter knows how to love herself, she’ll know how to love others — and that’s the kind of strength I hope to pass on.”

Connect with Yenson:

• 🎙️ Podcast: Ordinary But Unique
• Instagram / LinkedIn: yensonshe

Too many boys...

From the rush of a semi-professional motorcycle career to the quiet reckoning of divorce and fatherhood, Corey Baum has lived the full spectrum of what it means to chase control — and what it costs to find connection. People described him as “always at a five” — never too high, never too low — steady on the outside, but disconnected within.

Behind the image of the capable man was someone using achievement, porn, and relationships to escape the pain of disconnection. The façade of confidence hid a deep fear of being truly seen.

Divorce marked the beginning of a long, unfiltered journey of self-discovery — through therapy, men’s work, and an honest confrontation with the patterns that kept him small.

Today, as the founder of The Evolved Men Project and father to two boys, ages 7 and 11, Corey helps men break free from the old rules of masculinity, build real confidence, and lead from emotional truth rather than performance. His story is one of courage, accountability, and evolution — and a reminder that it’s never too late to become the man you were meant to be.

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Feeling motivated? Here's a short, powerful coaching experience to help you tune in, connect, and understand your son—one tiny step at a time.

Join my free 1:1 Tiny Challenge™: 3 Days to a Stronger Connection With Your Son

✨ In just 3 days, you’ll take one small step each day to understand, connect, and affirm your son—no overwhelm, no pressure, just powerful parenting in action.

Here’s how it works:

✔️ I’ll send you one simple action + reflection each day

✔️ You’ll message me back with your experience

✔️ I’ll support you personally with insights, encouragement, and next steps

👉 Ready to get started? You can just send me a note at kathy@sonhoodcoaching.com and say “I’m in!” and I’ll take care of the rest.

**********

Corey Baum is the founder of The Evolved Men Project, a coach and community builder helping men lead with confidence, connection, and purpose. Drawing on years of personal growth, men’s group leadership, and professional coaching, he creates spaces where men can develop self-mastery, strengthen relationships, and live boldly. Corey hosts The Evolved Men Podcast and facilitates both local and online groups, blending practical tools with real conversations that inspire change.

• Corey’s childhood and the masks boys learn to wear to feel safe
• What boys need most from their parents today
• The turning point
• Escaping through achievement, relationships,, and porn — and learning to sit with pain instead of numbing it
• Fatherhood after divorce: building connection through honesty, not perfection
• How men can redefine strength, leadership, and love
• Practical ways to help boys express emotion and develop inner confidence

• Facebook - https://facebook.com/evolvedmenproject
• IG - https://instagram.com/evolvedmenproject/
• YouTube - https://youtube.com/@EvolvedMenProject
• Website - https://evolvedmenproject.com/

• Website: sonhoodcoaching.com

Join the Tiny (FREE) Challenge: 3 Days to a...