Divorce is one of those decisions people expect you to explain carefully — preferably once you’ve already figured everything out and no one feels uncomfortable.

In this episode, Lisa Happ and Jolee Vacchi, hosts of the Divorce Detox podcast, talk about what actually keeps people stuck — especially in relationships that are unhealthy, controlling, or quietly exhausting — and why waiting for permission often just means staying longer than you planned.

They get into the parts of divorce that rarely make it into polite conversation: the emotional fog, the financial fear, the repeated attempts to “make it work,” and the slow realization that your partner is unlikely to change this time either.

This conversation isn’t about telling anyone what to do. It’s about naming why the decision itself feels so loaded — and why starting with one small step is often more realistic than waiting for certainty.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• Why people feel like they need permission to get divorced
• The difference between trying again and staying stuck
• Narcissistic and coercive dynamics — and why “working on it” often doesn’t work
• The emotional and financial fear that keeps decisions on hold
• Why divorce parties are a thing — and what they’re actually celebrating
• How Lisa and Jolee work with clients one step at a time

Listener Takeaways

• Divorce doesn’t require consensus
• Staying is still a decision — even when it’s framed as patience
• Wanting out doesn’t mean you did something wrong
• You don’t have to know every step to take the first one

✨ Share this with someone who keeps saying, “We’ve been doing okay lately”

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✨ Check out Lisa and Jolee on Divorce Detox Podcast

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BONUS: Lisa, Jolee, and I created a Divorce Detox Anthem playlist on Spotify for your divorce party or morning pick me up!

What if the reason you’re moving in silence isn’t strategy — but fear?

Before she was a software engineer with a large following on TikTok, Jovonne Cameron (@jovitalkstech) was quietly living a double life.

She told her friends and community she was going back to school for an advanced degree in English.

In reality, she was enrolled in a coding bootcamp — financing a major career pivot in silence.

This episode is about imposter syndrome, money, cultural conditioning, and the fear that if you say something too soon, someone will tell you it’s unrealistic. The conversation moves beyond career transition into the emotional and financial realities of becoming someone new before you feel ready to defend it.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• Why imposter syndrome convinces us to keep our plans private
• The cultural lesson of “fail in private” — and its unintended consequences
• Financing a career pivot: bootcamps, scholarships, and calculated risk
• When success changes the dynamics of friendships
• The difference between being good at something and being fulfilled by it

Listener Takeaways

• Moving in silence can protect focus — but it can also limit support
• Investing in yourself often feels scary and strategic at the same time
• You don’t need certainty to start — you need enough conviction to continue
• Outgrowing people doesn’t mean you betrayed them

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✨ Share this episode with the friend who’s “moving in silence”

What happens when the family you want doesn’t come with society’s approval?

At 41, Connie Rutherford made a decision that came with strong opinions: becoming a single mother by choice through a sperm donor.

What followed wasn’t just a fertility journey — it was a collision of family expectations, cultural beliefs, medical decisions, and the quieter question many people carry longer than they admit: Can I do this without a partner — and still be okay?

In this episode of Unpopular Decisions, Connie reflects on moving forward before she had proof it would all work out. She shares what it meant to navigate IVF, family resistance, and why her only regret is not doing it sooner.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• Being told she was “robbing her children of a father” — and what reconciliation actually looked like
• IVF, embryo decisions, and trusting instinct when the data isn’t definitive
• The financial and emotional cost of choosing motherhood on your own terms
• Why doing something “alone” still requires a village
• The moment she realized waiting wasn’t making the decision easier — just louder

Listener Takeaways

• Approval often shows up after the decision, not before
• Medical expertise matters — but so does self-trust
• Waiting for certainty can be its own kind of risk
• Asking for help is not weakness — it’s wisdom
• There’s no universal timeline for motherhood, healing, or partnership

✨ Read more about Connie's journey in her memoir, Searching for Tadpoles: The Journey to Motherhood of a Single Mother by Choice

✨ Follow Unpopular Decisions for conversations about choices people usually explain only after they work out

✨ Share this with the friend who keeps saying, “I’m just trying to think it through”